Decisions.

MsPony

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I have been thinking about moving my horse for some time now, I have been with the same trainer for...8 years (!! Wow !!) I gave her my sweat, blood and tears, all quite literally, from 7th grade to the day I moved to college. I exercised horses, took care of everyone, was ran over, beaten up, bucked off, and had ponies for free. I put up with so much BS, because I loved "my" horses and had ponies for free that entire time.

I then went off to college, moved back last minute and started paying/stopped working for her because I got a big girl job. The tables kind of shifted once I started paying, I have been getting tired of her BS and her negative way of training. I stopped riding this summer, because after 6 months of lessons & clinics by some phenomenal trainers, I was on top of my riding world and then after a week with her...my self confidence was gone. She nit picked my riding SO much, I havent been able to go look at my horse. He is a very hard ride, and we have to take the tiniest steps and celebrate the littlest accomplishments. He is very emotional and sensitive, whereas my mare before him was NOT sensitive and NOT emotional so I have been transitioning between hot hot (mare) and cold. I cant even use my heel to move him forward, I have to voice command him. She told me to shut up, I should not be vocal with him when I ride :rolleyes:

I also had to put my foot down and tell her I wanted my horse fed THIS way and he will be fed THIS way. I have had 8 years of growing, and nutritionally I feel he should be different then what she feeds.

He was her clients horse before I got him, I actually exercised him for quite a few years before his owners decided to give him to me, a year ago. So I know she feels she knows better then me,

Now heres where I am having to make the decision; if I keep him there, next year we were planning on getting some goats and possibly a dairy cow. She also has enough space for me to build a coop & run in the back part of her property so I can do some chicken breeding. My dog also stays at her ranch for day care, although I dont think THAT will change :fl

But I am just...frustrated, are getting my own dairy sources worth it? Being able to get my farm animals NOW instead of 5+ years worth it? Boo. I need some help, I am going so back and forth.
 

Blackbird

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She sounds like a very vile and malice woman. I wouldn't want to spend any time with her. I think it would only get worse - If her attitude makes you feel very un-encouraged about your current animal I doubt it will improve when you have more.

It sounds like a recipe for disaster. What happens if you get dairy animals but then her attitude gets even worse. You'll be stuck having to deal with her if you can't find a place for the dairy animals.
 

Farmfresh

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I would be done.

I believe in using the least amount of cue possible and if I can ask and they give me what I want why be quiet?

I have ridden, trained and shown horses since I was literally in diapers AND I have shown in some MAJOR shows and done quite well thank you. If I can ride in an English Equitation class at the American Royal SINGING "Greensleeves" softly to my very HOT Appendix Quarter Horse mare (she needed the music to relax and soften her gait) and still place (!!), I am pretty sure you should be able to ask your horse for a gait!

Sounds like you have outgrown the teacher and it is making her a bit peevish.
 

FarmerChick

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you haven't ridden or looked at your horse BECAUSE of her

that would be it for me, move the horse now. no one would be stopping me from riding lol and u are paying now yikes lol

with that post, go back and read it, what would your advice be to someone else who wrote that post
 

freemotion

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You haven't ridden all summer because of her? Cut ties completely. Life is too short to be so miserable. There are other opportunities out there, better ones, even for the dairy animals and chickens. You just haven't found them because you haven't needed to look....move your horse, start riding again, and put the word out that you are looking for the other opportunities. As you meet more people and develop new relationships, something will turn up.

She knew you when you were a child and still sees you this way. Or she is just one of those trainers....I escaped one, too. I still get a knot in my stomach when I think about her! Get out! Run for the hills! :p
 

ohiofarmgirl

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i dont know what a hot vs cold horseis... but i do know a bully when i see it. if it were me i'd go over there and get my dang horse and my dog and drive away before the sun went down today.

here's the thing - the horse isnt the only one being trained here.

every time you go over there you are giving her a piece of you. and if she has your horse, your chickens, your goat, your dog... well thats a pretty high price for something that isnt really going to be "yours", right?. you dont have to willingly sign up for such an unbalanced relationship. you already know this so trust your instincts.

go git yer dog and horse and thank her very much. then drive away and dont accept her calls. chances are she'll make you feel very bad about this. so tell her your Auntie Ohiofarmgirl says to scr....well... you know what i mean. but i'm sure you got more class then that
;-)

me? i'd be givin' her the finger and telling someone who treated me like that to take a big step backward. the best thing about running your own show on your own ground is that you dont have to put up with someone treating you like that. this is a good thing for you to learn now.

Free is right - when you meet more people you'll see how things will be different and find the right situation. life is too short for such ridiculousness.

;-)
 

MsPony

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Thank you guys :)

I thought about it all today and I am actively looking at other places to move come beginning of November. MaPony has been MsDepresso and nothing equine has been leaving my mouth lately.

I am drooling and wanting this barn, I am not western but once I move ill be saddle less so it doesnt matter, LOL. Its 30-40 minutes away, but I would be paying LESS there for full care, then what I pay for SELF CARE!! And at this point in my life, being 20, working FT and going to school FT (ill be commuting to school 2 hours away soon) I need full care.
:fl
 

hwillm1977

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I keep my mare at a barn that is 90% western... I ride dressage. My coach comes in once a week for a lesson, and I have a barn full of people/horses that I love spending time with. I'd be getting out of the situation with her, leaving before she has more of a hold on you with more of your animals there.

I really suggest moving. I switched coaches (not really the same thing, but still) because when I bought my mare she was 'hot' and everyone in the barn called her crazy. My previous coach wanted me to carry a dressage whip, 1.5 inch spurs, and ride her in a twisted wire bit that cut the edges of her mouth.

I ride with a natural horsemanship/dressage coach now and after two years of schooling I can ride my mare bareback and bridleless without worrying about her running through fences or crashing me into the wall. It's like night and day... she's a completely different horse.

I'm with FarmFresh, the less cue you need the better... I sing in the show ring too, because otherwise I forget to breathe and my mare gets nervous. No one has ever told me to shut up :) Usually I go with Row, row, row your boat... lol
 

Farmfresh

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hwillm1977 said:
I keep my mare at a barn that is 90% western... I ride dressage. My coach comes in once a week for a lesson, and I have a barn full of people/horses that I love spending time with. I'd be getting out of the situation with her, leaving before she has more of a hold on you with more of your animals there.

I really suggest moving. I switched coaches (not really the same thing, but still) because when I bought my mare she was 'hot' and everyone in the barn called her crazy. My previous coach wanted me to carry a dressage whip, 1.5 inch spurs, and ride her in a twisted wire bit that cut the edges of her mouth.

I ride with a natural horsemanship/dressage coach now and after two years of schooling I can ride my mare bareback and bridleless without worrying about her running through fences or crashing me into the wall. It's like night and day... she's a completely different horse.

I'm with FarmFresh, the less cue you need the better... I sing in the show ring too, because otherwise I forget to breathe and my mare gets nervous. No one has ever told me to shut up :) Usually I go with Row, row, row your boat... lol
:lol: I just pictured us competing at the same show! Man we could get a real two part harmony going!

I have NEVER understood the spurs, harsh bits and whips method of riding a horse. In my whole horse life I have only needed spurs twice on a horse. One time on an old coot horse that would crossfire when he got mad at you for making him work (unless he got that little poke that meant business to him) and the other time on a pleasure mare that I had that was so naturally lazy that she took half an arena to pick up her canter unless she was "encouraged" to do it a bit sooner. I think people who ride with "equipment" like this usually can't really ride. All they can do is carry a big hammer.

I rode primarily Western, but I also rode English (Hunt and Saddleseat), Drove, Jumped, Reined, Barrels, and TRAINED using dressage. Paints, Quarter Horses, Walking Horses and a great collection of ponies (my favorites). I guess I like some variety! :p
 

ksalvagno

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If you don't have your own land to keep your own goats and cow, then I would hold off on the dairy. One thing to consider is seeing if a local goat breeder close to you would be willing to board a goat you buy from them. Then you could go over there and milk the goat and either pay board or work for board. I would not get myself in deeper with a woman who makes you feel bad. As long as you are using her land, you are subject to her rules and her nasty behavior.

And don't be surprised if moving your horse ends the doggy day care at her place too. She sounds like someone who would be vindictive and being at her place may not be a good thing for your dog.
 

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