No Parent Left Behind (I laughed till I cried)

[Quail_Antwerp]

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real
notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district...(spellings
have been left intact.)

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today.
Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre,
dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out].
(love it! )


12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and
his boots leak.


13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. [you
know, this could be legit! ]



15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because
i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to
get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We
thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't ! be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her
funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the marines. [i absolutely love that one!]

19. Please excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,
sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever
an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something
going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.


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Numbers 20 and 22 were my absolute favorite! But the whole thing was so frickin hilarious that I had tears running down my face the first time I read it! I could hardly finish reading it through!

 

[punkin]

Quail--you are on a roll tonight!! I love 12 & 18.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

#23, oh my that just cracks me up!

eta: my SIL has horrible spelling! I hate trying to read her letters. And their kids were the same way, and they used to get so po'ed at me if I tried to help their kids properly spell things on their homework. Called me a know it all whatever!

 

[Wildsky]

Number 8 had me laughing out loud!

 

[Beekissed]

I peed my pants!!!

 

[punkin]

I peed my pants!!!

Will you miss school tomorrow?

 

[Beekissed]

ONLY IF MY BOOTS LEAK!

 

[MorelCabin]

That was hillarious! (I hope I spelled that right)

 

[the simple life]

Its actually kind of sad, with parents like that these kids don't stand a chance.

I know someone who spelled her own name kid's name wrong on her birth certificate. I was actually in the room visiting her when the husband saw a copy of the form she filled out and said you spelled her name wrong.
She said no I didn't , isn't that how you spell it? He said no its not and the way you spelled it it won't even be pronounced right.

He had to run downstairs to the office before the woman sent it in.
She honestly did not know how to spell the name that they picked out for their child.
Then, she showed me her baby book one time and she wrote that the baby was born on a "Fryday."

Then she told me that was taking the chicken out of the freezer to cook before it got "frostbite". (freezerburned?)

She also thinks that convicted rapists should all be
"circumcised".(castrated)

All of her conversations are like this, now she went to the same school as we all did around here and I don't know anyone else like her.
Her daughter is now grown, and sadly just like her mom.

 

[Beekissed]

I have a boy who is dyslexic and he spells things how they sound to him...sometimes he can spell a very large difficult word correctly and a small, common word incorrectly and vice versa....no rhyme or reason to his spelling.

The worst part about that? I could never get the school system to recognize he has a problem, though he tests very high in everything but reading and, at 18, reads at the speed of a 4th grader and spells about the same. Do you know what the school psychologist told me? "In the age of spellcheck, spelling is just not as important." She also said that most of the kids his age couldn't spell much better, so, in reality, he is functioning on average for his age group!!!! Can't blame THAT one on the parents can we? :/