Not SS but a kid dilemma

[Dace]

I would like your thoughts on this parenting dilemma.

DS is 14 and just started high school today. He started at a charter school where he only knows a couple of people, not at our local HS where he would know the bulk of the kids.

DS has always played some sort of sport every year until last year....he has never been really athletic (never the worst kid on the team but never the star) yet he always had fun.

He has two choices for the fall...cross country (which he hates) or water polo which he is not thrilled with but he did play several years ago for one year and was actually pretty good at.

The question is this....do we just mandate that he plays something and let him pick between the two or do we let him opt to play nothing?

I am torn because I hate to force a kid to play sports (I was forced as a kid to play sports that I hated) and yet, it would be a good way to meet people in the new school and I think sports bring a nice balance to life!

Moms & dads....what do you think?

 

[Shiloh Acres]

I think it's good for kids to be involved in things.

If my child really tended to be a couch potato and not get any form of exercise, I might push for sports for that reason. I'd let them pick what sport.

If the child is reasonably active and I just wanted them involved in things to make friends, I'd see no reason to limit it to sports. If there are other activites that better suit his interests and might open up more things to him, why not let him choose the activity, be it sports, band, debate, chess club, or whatever?

That would be my take on it. I always preferred letting the child choose activities. A few times I was disappointed when something was dropped but as long as they are pursuing a passion it doesn't have to be mine.

(not saying you are doing that at all ... Just giving my perspective)

 

[tortoise]

I vote no - sort of. I'd require some group activity. Band, choir, a club or a sport.

 

[elijahboy]

if a child is MADE to do something then it wont be fun at all

kinda like cleaning the room

 

[Wildsky]

I wouldn't force a kid to do any sport they didn't want to do.

My son isn't really a sporting kinda kid, but he does really well at school, and he plays in the band, he does participate in the little althletics games they have and does PE, but he is much more of a book worm and I'm happy with that.

My son did try baseball and the coach was a real idiot, luckily my son didn't sign up again, he didn't like it much either.

I think America as a whole puts way too much into sports, kids get pushed and awarded and patted on the back and feel the only way they can be great in any one's eyes is to do well in sports. I think a lot differently.

 

[Henrietta23]

I have to agree with what I'm reading so far. Now, my son is only 8, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I really want to push him to get back into gymnastics now that we could actually afford it but he chose not to and I'm honoring his choice. Not easy! He is very active at home and will be in after school clubs that involve sports. He is not interested in competition right now.
(How'd he like school?)

 

[Farmfresh]

I wouldn't force a kid to do any sport they didn't want to do.

My son isn't really a sporting kinda kid, but he does really well at school, and he plays in the band, he does participate in the little althletics games they have and does PE, but he is much more of a book worm and I'm happy with that.

My son did try baseball and the coach was a real idiot, luckily my son didn't sign up again, he didn't like it much either.

I think America as a whole puts way too much into sports, kids get pushed and awarded and patted on the back and feel the only way they can be great in any one's eyes is to do well in sports. I think a lot differently.

I agree with this.

Perhaps he could do another group activity in school or even at church or a community to make friends. Sports is not the only way. What about theater or community service organizations. My kids were not much into standard sports. D1 was in track and the Geek wrestled, but most of their lasting friends came from church or 4-H.

 

[Wifezilla]

I might demand an activity of some sort, but to make him pick between those two options....ewww!

Are there clubs he can join???

There weren't enough kids involved for an actual men's volley ball team when my oldest was in high school so one of the teachers formed it in to a club. They found about 6 other schools that were either not in the district or too small for an actual league, etc.. They actually had a pretty good season.

 

[mrscoyote]

I wouldn't force sports or any activity on my child. I would encourage an outside activity, but I agree with others to much pressure will just suck the enjoyment out of it. Best of luck to you both.

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

what about a non-school activity? does your church have sports teams? regular swim team at the Y? anything???