FarmerChick
Super Self-Sufficient
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2008
- Messages
- 11,417
- Reaction score
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- Points
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Q: What has 99 legs & 49 teeth?
A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
Q. How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A. Had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a "teethbrush."
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There were this guy from Arkansas named Jethro walking down the road one day till he noticed his friend across the road carrying a bag.
Jethro: "Hey Billy Joe what you got in that bag?"
Billy Joe: "In this bag here I got me chickens."
Jethro: "Chickens! I sure would like chickens. I bet you if I guess how many
chickens you got in that thar bag you give me one..."
Billy Joe: "GGeeezzz Jethro if you guess how many
chickens I got in this bag I'll give you 'both' of them"
Jethro: "uhhh...5"
Billy Joe: "Nope"
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HILLBILLY MOM TO HILLBILLY SON
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live
where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where the most
accidents happened within twenty miles of home,...so we moved.
I wont be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that
lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't
have to change their address, wish I would have thought of that.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it,
pulled the chain, and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four
days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little
too heavy to send in the mail with those heavy buttons, so we cut them off
and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last
payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out
whether it is a boy or a girl so I don't know if you are an aunt or
uncle, yet.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some of the men tried to
pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him, and he
burned for about 3 days.
Three of your friends when off the bridge in a pickup. One was
driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled
down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't
get the tailgate down in time.
Not much more news this time, nothing much happened.
Love, Mom.
P.S. I WAS GOING TO SEND YOU MONEY, but the envelope was already sealed.
A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
Q. How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A. Had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a "teethbrush."
-------------------------------------------------------
There were this guy from Arkansas named Jethro walking down the road one day till he noticed his friend across the road carrying a bag.
Jethro: "Hey Billy Joe what you got in that bag?"
Billy Joe: "In this bag here I got me chickens."
Jethro: "Chickens! I sure would like chickens. I bet you if I guess how many
chickens you got in that thar bag you give me one..."
Billy Joe: "GGeeezzz Jethro if you guess how many
chickens I got in this bag I'll give you 'both' of them"
Jethro: "uhhh...5"
Billy Joe: "Nope"
----------------------------------
HILLBILLY MOM TO HILLBILLY SON
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live
where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where the most
accidents happened within twenty miles of home,...so we moved.
I wont be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that
lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't
have to change their address, wish I would have thought of that.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it,
pulled the chain, and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four
days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little
too heavy to send in the mail with those heavy buttons, so we cut them off
and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last
payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out
whether it is a boy or a girl so I don't know if you are an aunt or
uncle, yet.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some of the men tried to
pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him, and he
burned for about 3 days.
Three of your friends when off the bridge in a pickup. One was
driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled
down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't
get the tailgate down in time.
Not much more news this time, nothing much happened.
Love, Mom.
P.S. I WAS GOING TO SEND YOU MONEY, but the envelope was already sealed.
Are rednecks related to hicks, by any chance?
