Sit down see the light with FIL!!

[On Our own]

Sadly we had to lay down the law with FIL and BIL.


We live next door to FIL/MIL and did that to help take care of them as they got older. We also picked up their property taxes. Property values shot up on them and they faced having to sell.

BUT THEN BIL and his kids moved in with them! He was in bad straits at first so we said we'd keep things as they were. But, now it has gotten too far All three of them are spending like drunken sailors and we're suffering.

I said no more. I don't care if they do have to sell. Thanks be that DH agreed and we didn't fight between us about it.


(Probably a good thing DH had his little break yesterday he wasn't in any shape today to argue my point!! )

 

[PamsPride]

You paid the property taxes even while BIL was there?? You are WAY nicer than me!!!

 

[On Our own]

We did at first, because BIL was going through a nasty divorce and was taking care of his kids. The house and its issues were still MIL/FILs problems. But, he hasn't left and now his kids have moved in and he still isn't really kicking in any so I said - no more.

They can choose to support him if they want, but I am not willing to help them do it!

 

[shareneh]

I thing BIL should at least cough up half the taxes, that would make peace with your parents and hubby. It isn't asking for what you aren't willing to do and they will understand. I don't know how much the taxes are but it's what I would do. You can also ask if the land can be put in your husband's name if you are going to be paying the taxes, that way you can have some land later and still be helping the family.

 

[On Our own]

That's a good idea, but FIL already put the land as going directly to BIL when he dies. That was the final straw for me. He cut DH out all together.

His taxes are over $9,000 per year. and we have been paying the full amount for ten years.

 

[freemotion]

That's a good idea, but FIL already put the land as going directly to BIL when he dies. That was the final straw for me. He cut DH out all together.

His taxes are over $9,000 per year. and we have been paying the full amount for ten years.

I've heard similar stories all too often. The loser kid gets taken care of by parents while the responsible kid gets

Take comfort in that you did what was the right thing at the time, and that you won't pass that thinking and behavior onto your own children. Yikes. You can sleep at night with a good conscience, in my never-to-be-humble opinion!

 

[PamsPride]

That's a good idea, but FIL already put the land as going directly to BIL when he dies. That was the final straw for me. He cut DH out all together.

His taxes are over $9,000 per year. and we have been paying the full amount for ten years.

HOLY CRAP!!!
Is there a part of you that secretly hopes it goes up for back taxes in a couple of years and then you can buy the property for cheap??? Then BIL will not get it!! Mwhahahaha!!!!

 

[Beekissed]

I've heard of this happening sooooo many times! It happened to my dad, and then he turned right around and did the same thing for the most rotten kid he has. And then boo-hoos over how hateful this particular son is to him...... those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it!

Good for you, OOO!! Too bad you didn't do this earlier on, huh?

 

[me&thegals]

It is crazy how often this story repeats itself in the next generation! I don't get it!

 

[On Our own]

One of the main reasons we have been paying it was that I put my foot down about one thing: FIL is NOT living with me!!!!


I will never get FILs attitude if I told you some of the things he has put family number 2 through so that he could "support" family number 1 you'd be as shocked as I was. Guilt is an amazing thing.