The annoying person avoidance sounds like it was recognized as far back as the early 1900's:
George Gurdjieff, a mystic, developed experiential psychology. In every group he taught he made certain that a very annoying, aggravating person was in it. The rest of the group focused verbal complaints about that person to Gurdjieff.
Gurdjieff's response was that the annoying person was integral to the group, bringing about unpleasant and uncharted experiences and accompanying negative emotion.
He didn't want any group getting too comfortable, which stunted group growth. They needed to experience, understand their responses and adjust to this person who brought a high level of conflict and tension to the group. As individuals they needed to problem solve their personal interaction with the annoying person.
Spelling correction- in the event of someone wishing to research this further.
Interesting article - but I disagree to several of the points made or to the underlying reasons....
Online friends like this forum... to me it is a sharing & celebration of life by like-minded people. Granted I don't Facebook or Twitter or subscribe to many forums (just SS, BYC & Garden Forums). I do not feel the loss of personality by reading posts - although some are harder to cipher the intent - but most are written well enough & with such a flair of word usage that I feel I know where the person is coming from. I actually feel I KNOW some of you by your multiple posts....
I think we are "worth" less because more is expected from us than in earlier generations... gone is the days of hard work means good pay... of families & neighbors spending time together on a daily basis... most of us work (both partners) long hours just to maintain the way of life we appreciate. I do not live a socialite life - not my thing - but to live a somewhat SS rural farm life is at times difficult due to the cost of living for basic necessities. I CHOOSE not to have several luxuries but cannot do anything about my taxes or basic power costs. I could live more frugal but that requires more time which I do not have due to work.... you can choose a more frugal lifestyle & somewhat dictate the amount you work by the amount you spend... but for me - I can only dictate so much until the morgage is paid for. And college is paid for for DD. In times past - a college ed. was not mandatory for good paying jobs - it is a must now for midlevel jobs - so what are my choices? Ultimetly I agree it is my goals that dictate but some responsiblity rests on our current society.
I agree critisism, like times of difficulty, help us to forge ahead with who we are supposed to become. Often it is not easy or pleasant - but as for me I thank God for the life lessons that have made me who I am... regardless of what my "family" or others think about those decisions.
Do not misunderstand me - I am not "blaming" anything on anyone - I just think that the article came across that we made our own position - I think that in our current society that (rather than we created this position) much is imposed on us. Sort of like the upcoming healthcare policy where you will be required to have insurance (which I already do) but it will most likely increase our taxes & current insurance costs. What happened to free will & responsibility for oneself & one's family? I do not want government to be responsible for me & mine. That's my job. And the job of our communities & churches... Times have changed and many things have improved as mentioned in the article (healthcare, age of living, food availability) but at what costs?
So forgive me if I choose to have online forum friends that support my lifestyle - but I do not think my "depression" comes from being antisocial but from the stresses of maintaining a life in a demanding society of which I feel like a relic of the past. For all the "past" hardships - I often think that the simpler way of life with communities who shared was probably the better way & since that no longer exist in my area to a great degree, I recreate it here. And THANKS to you all who help to maintain it!