Getting acclimated to country

[Country homesteader]

I've lived in the country ever since the end of 2015 but before that I lived in a city ( Syracuse to be exact). I can't really say it's my place seeing how it belongs to an Uncle of mine but he drives tractor trailer for a living so I tend to it including the animals (4 steers and around 50 chickens) while he isn't here.
I'm slowly getting aquainted with country living and how to become self-sufficient. Plus also the machinery especially the tractors ( Bolens) seeing how I've never used one before. During Sapping (Maple and Birch) I used the Bolens 20 to go gather the sap from the trees in the woods. I may have driven slow but I wanted to be able to control the machine not have the machine control me.
It sure is different than living in the city but the air here is so much better especially when the wind blows just right get that nice sniff of "fresh country air" into the lungs.
So far my attempts at helping this farm become self-sufficient have been not my ideas but I somehow get talked into doing them .
So frustrating, maybe it's because my family knows that I'm trying my best to learn new things and I'm more helpful than others (because of my love for animals which isn't always the best thing).
Yup, I used to live in the country when I was a teen but I wasn't interested in it at that time- just a typical teen (thought I knew it all and would be better off in a city- was I wrong). I'm glad though that I was finally able to get out of the city and back to the country where my roots first began- grew up in small country towns here in NY State.

 

[Mini Horses]

So far my attempts at helping this farm become self-sufficient have been not my ideas but I somehow get talked into doing them

Like -- what & by whom? (sounds to be family)

If it was your Uncle, your now benefactor of country life -- then you may have to learn to work within a request made. If just by "others" then you need to 1) decide why you would do it and 2) if it in any way benefits you, your time, your uncle & the land and animals there.

Now, obviously making sure there is water & feed available would be #1. I would think maintaining fence, grass mowing, etc, would be part of your living arrangements ... and is not what we are talking about. Any brief explanations you wish to offer?

What do YOU feel you want to take away from your life changes in lifestyle? What do you want in the future? If you consider these things, you may find your answer to your frustrations.

Your agreements for the living arrangements and your own personal & financial conditions, plus your age, may affect BOTH your thoughts & results. Don't take on too much, too soon -- it can be overwhelming. That's just my thought on your post.

 

[Country homesteader]

Well, let's see- my Uncle will give me a project to do that he knows I am able to do on my own and he'll give my cousin (his son) a project to do yet I end up doing my cousins project also. For instance during the winter my cousin was supposed to plow the driveway using a tractor- most of the time I ended up shoveling by hand ( it's not a small driveway 1/4 mile long- okay maybe not quite that long but it sure felt it at that time).
Yes, as part of living here I do mow the lawn but right now not able to seeing how I can't drive the John Deere tractor and the push mower is down for repairs-belt rubbed a hole in oil hose (waiting on Uncle to come home to fix).
There's days where I feel older than what I am but I still do what I must than there's plenty of days where I'm none stop until I go to bed.
If others ( my cousin who's younger) tells me his dad said I had to do something I clarify it with my Uncle first who most of the time tells me, " I told your cousin to do that but as long as it gets done or is done it doesn't matter who did it".
Yes, tending to the animals is also part of me living here.
Further down the road, I want to get this farm to be self-sufficient by producing veggies in a garden. Yup, I could get a garden going if it was tilled up! We currently sell the eggs our chickens produce and that money goes back to buying their feed.
What would I take away if I could- MY COUSIN!!!He really doesn't help out unless he thinks it's going to benefit him yet he tries to take the credit when I do something.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Sounds like a challenging situation. Maybe if you can look at it as an opportunity to learn and build your skill set - (while your cousin isn't likely learning anything) - it'll help you see it as a more positive experience.

 

[Country homesteader]

I already do look at as a positive aspect in my life so if I ever do end up leaving here and still end up living in the country I'll be able to get my own flock of chickens and take of the land so the land will take care of me. Yup, I'm learning as I go along but isn't that the best way to get through life?

 

[Mini Horses]

You need to have a tractor training session one day when uncle is home. Then just do what you need to do & relieve the stress. You still don't share ages BUT it sure sounds like some youngsters who have a "compete" going on. If cousin is a lot younger & you are "babysitting" him, take control & if not, ignore him except for his own personal clean-up.

The three of you need a hard talk. Then do your share & crew the rest. It's like a marriage, don't think you will change the partner because you can't. Just don't marry.

See? Worry that you do your share......let cousin learn he needs to do for self. It is not going to work out as it is now. Back to maturity.

I wish you luck.

 

[sumi]

That sounds like a very frustrating situation. You got some good advice here. to your cousin, sit down and talk with your uncle and see what you can do and get done to help YOU.

 

[Country homesteader]

Now that my cousin went on vacation for two weeks my Uncle has seen the improvement in how quickly things are getting done here but my Uncle knows that it's mostly me doing the work even with my cousin here.
I know I sound like I don't like my cousin but that's not the case. I just don't like the fact he only wants to help me when he feels like it but when he gets in that mood- better watch out seeing how he's worse than a cartoon character then moves around in a tornado. I'm hoping that when he gets back from vacation he'll be up to helping around here.

 

[Beekissed]

Hope springs eternal....

I'm going to give you a little nibble of wisdom, as a woman of older years....never wait on a man to do anything or get around to anything or learn to WANT to do anything. ANY man...brother, cousin, uncle, dad or husband.

You'll be waiting a very long time while the place falls down around you. Men who are willing to do chores on the land and around the house are born, not made...you'll be able to spot those kind and they are as rare as hen's teeth. They are the ones doing work like that BEFORE you ask...they see what needs to be done and they just go and do it. They don't slowly grow into good workers with time....I've never seen it happen and my dear ol' Ma, 82 yrs young in this world, has never seen it happen.

My advice to you is to learn how to do everything yourself and then just do everything yourself. It gets done that way, it gets done properly and it gets done when YOU want it done, not when they get around to helping you or doing it. You'll experience a lot less anxiety and stress over the years if you stop expecting a man who is not already jumping to it before you ask to help you, to do it, or even WANT to do it....it will never happen.

Roll up your sleeves and get busy on what you want to accomplish, learn how to use the equipment...trust me, if they can learn it and use it, so can you, and roll on with your bad self.

 

[Denim Deb]

Bee has some good advice. I've gotten tired of waiting for hubby to do stuff, and am learning how to do it myself. Some things I already knew, like how to drive a tractor, back a trailer, how to use tools, etc. So I'm now putting them to use. I still want to learn how to do simple electrical work, welding and small engine repair.