Are my kids old enough?

[miss_thenorth]

I have a possibility of a job, but it would require shift work. My kids are 12 (13 in June), and soon to be 11 (in Feb). With my hubby's schedule, it might be two or three night s in a row, but never longer than that. And the possibility of my night shifts coinciding with his are not that great. We are talking 8 hr shifts. Are they old enough, or would I have to get someone over here to sleep if I took the job?

 

[Cassandra]

Well, first, obviously check for ordinances and laws in your area. I think in most places in the country the age where children can be left alone is 10, but I have heard of places where it was older.

Personally, I would feel fine leaving them alone if they were mine... under some circumstances, of course.

How's your neighborhood? Do you feel like they would be safe? Are they pretty mature for their age? Do you have a smoke detector? Would they keep their wits about them in case of a fire? Is is likely you're going to have a burglary? Would they know how to call for help if something unexpected or unforeseeable happened? Is there somewhere close by they can go (a neighbor) in an emergency?

And finally, ask them how they feel about it. Would they be afraid? When you come home, are they sitting awake and alert (as if they are afraid something bad is going to happen) or are they sleeping peacefully and unconcerned? And later on, if they say they wouldn't be scared, but you discover one them has been sleeping with a knife under his pillow, it might be a clue that he's not feeling as secure as he says.

They are your kids and you know them better than anyone. I think they are probably "old" enough. But there's other factors to consider.

Cassandra

 

[miss_thenorth]

12 is the recommended age to babysit--home alone at 10. We are rural, never been a problem, have a near neighbour who can be trusted to be available and on call. We have an alarm system and two dogs-one being a rottie.(ppl are scared of him for only that reason--he's a big suck) Smoke alarms, carbon monoxide detectors, etc.

I've asked them and they seem fine with it. I think it's just mothers nerves. My parents worked shiftwork, but I can't remember how old we were when we stayed home alone at night. And like I said, the chances of my having to work when my hubby is on nights,--I'm sure would be very rare. I would be home to tuck them into bed, and then leave after they are asleep. (for the mignight shift) Afternoon shift they would be home alone from school until bedtime-rarely--hubby gets home about 7:30. Ooh, I have never left them for so long before. Don't know what to do. (don't even have the job yet--just thinking ahead of time)

 

[FarmerChick]

hey MTN
even thought the kids say they are fine with it, you know how they are. Do you think they are old enough to handle it? If yes in your heart, then do it. But if you truly have reservations about them being mature enough to do the right thing, then hold off.

WOW I feel for ya! I know leaving them home alone is the hardest thing. I would be a train wreck, LOL.

But if the kids are ready, then know you raised them up good and they can handle it.

Any chance, to apply for a 9-5 job while they are in school? I know, but shift work stinks. Been there done that..>LOL....and I know just a regular old day job is preferred by me...but of course, it may not be possible etc.

Do you have the luxury to keep looking for that perfect job? If yes, do so. If no, then do what you think is best. That age is definitely more mature (than in my time growing up..lol) so I hope it all works out for you!

 

[punkin]

I think at that age, it would depend upon the maturity of your kids. Are they responsible enough to be left alone? You know, "Do not use the stove, don't answer the door, don't tell anyone you are home alone" kind of stuff.

I would do what I felt comfortable doing.

It's good to think ahead of time. I know I do. Usually, when and if a situation arises, I'm pretty sure of my decision.

Trust your gut.

 

[miss_thenorth]

My son, who is the older one of the two, is the one I would worry about. He had alot of fears as a kid-the girl doesn't know what fear is. It would be him that I would be concerned about. But he is older now, and most of his fears are vanishing.

As far as waiting for a great job,--it's complicated. Our line of credit is maxed. Our mortgage payment is high. We are "just" making ends meet, and we can't cut costs any more than we have already. Our basement needs to be fixed. And I refuse to extend the line of credit. Son now has braces--and that is an extra $280 a month. Our credit card is always paid off monthly, and I want it to stay that way. My dh can pick up overtime shifts, but we can't rely on that. So depending on how you look at it, I think I should take what is available at this time, unfortunately, shift work is a great probability. Considering that I have not worked for 13 years--I should probably take what I can get at this point.

We could stay the way that we are, but then it would take forever to pay off the line of credit, and forget about fixing the basement. and if the economy plunges like they say it will, I think I would be better off getting a job now as opposed to waiting. I could always look for a better job once I have one already.

Physically, I can handle shift work--I've done it before. but I have never left my kids home alone to do it. I think my son would be able to handle it. I guess I could always try it and if it doesn't work out, oh well.

We just need to get ahead a bit.

 

[lorihadams]

I agree with everyone else...do what you feel comfortable with and what is right for your kids. They are old enough for their input to matter so just ask them if it is something that they would consider. If you have a neighbor or relative that could check in on them or be there close by should a problem arise then I would definitely consider doing it.

Lori

 

[Anny]

I think that is a good age, but then again remember it depends on the kids, I know some 20 year olds I wouldn't leave home alone haha

 

[FarmerChick]

if ya have to, then you have to.
do not feel bad about it. obviously the kids are old enough, and you know their maturity in general.
sometimes, we must, regardless of what we want, be done.

I would do it if I felt it would be a plus to myself and my family.


Like you said, you can always quit if you get the job. soemtimes change is a great thing!
surprises everyone.

 

[miss_thenorth]

I think that is a good age, but then again remember it depends on the kids, I know some 20 year olds I wouldn't leave home alone haha

So do I!!!!!

maturity-wise I think they are good. They get along, do their chores without nagging, responsible, etc etc. They know the rules about being home alone.