article from thehomeschoolmom.com (everyone should read this) :)

[colowyo0809]

Article - What should a 4 year old know? by Alicia Bayer

I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. "What should a 4 year old know?" she asked.

Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only 3. A few posted URL's to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.

It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn't. We are such a competitive culture that even our preschoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood shouldn't be a race.

So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.


1.She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.

2.He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.

3.She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.

4.He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he'll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.

5.She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she's wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous.

6.She should know that it's just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that-- way more worthy.

But more important, here's what parents need to know.

1.That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.

2.That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.

3.That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children "advantages" that we're giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.

4.That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children's toys and they wouldn't be missed, but some things are important-- building toys like legos and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too-- to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it's absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.

5.That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That's not okay! Our children don't need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US.

They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they're a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.





I read this and it reminded me why I wanted to homeschool in the first place, so my children wouldn't be pressured into "learning" what they are "supposed" to know by a certain age and why I wanted them to enjoy the freedom of learning at their own pace (with some guidance from us) and why I wanted to encourage them to explore and not worry about what everyone else is doing better or faster than they are. This gives me hope and affirmation that what I am doing is right for my family and I hope it does for everyone that reads this too. Thanks!

these are the reasons why I want to be a parent and why I want to homeschool. I've always felt schooling, or learning, takes place more than in the classroom. You can learn just as much science in the kitchen as you do in the lab Thanks for posting this!

 

[lorihadams]

It can be hard....I constantly feel like I'm behind on things and then I have to step back and remind myself that part of the reason I wanted to homeschool in the first place was that I didn't want my children constantly being compared to everyone else when every child learns at a different pace and in a different way. What works for one child may not work for the others and I have to make myself remember that it is okay if I don't get everything done that I had planned to do. I think the hardest part of homeschooling is the pressure that we feel from ourselves and others to live up to the expectations that are set by society. Just because we don't do things the same way that it would be done in a public school setting doesn't mean that what we are doing doesn't work.

 

[Britesea]

If you can get a copy of the GED test or requirements, it will give you an excellent idea of what you NEED to teach your child. Then you can add things that YOU think are important. I always figured the most important thing was getting them to read, since everything after that CAN be learned from a book, if necessary.

Then take a look at what you are doing every day and try to see how what you are doing can be turned into a lesson. For instance, creating BOB's teach about health and nutrition (what to pack and why), geography (using a map and plotting at least 3 routes out of the area), arithmetic (how much to pack for 3 days) etc. If you stop and take a few moments to explain WHY you are doing something, you will be teaching your child-- it only takes a few extra moments, and you would be amazed at how much more cooperation you will get from children if they know why they need to do things like wash the dishes and dry them (I remember my DS2 suggesting that we just wash the tops of the plates and bowls, since that was the only place the food was put-- so I invited him to think about what happens when you stack the dishes away in the cupboard. A light bulb lit up, and after that I got no resistance from him about washing the ENTIRE plate, lol)

 

[Godiva]

This thread is a breath of fresh air for me! I have two young ones that we are homeschooling and we have moved from SC to CO last spring and now again just before Christmas and I am feeling so overwhelmed with everything on my plate at the moment. Our kids are very smart and love books but I have not been able to keep up with the usual 'regular' school. I just have to take a deep breath and remember that the kids are learning all the time and that we will eventually learn all the things they need to learn. So lovely to read that post of all the important things. I know education is important but it is so good to remember that it is not only intellectual education that is vital!

 

[BirdBrain]

I am constantly reminding myself that what goes on in their heart is more important than what can be stuffed in their head. We end up schooling around other things a lot of the time...appointments, animal care, travel, babysitting, bad weather events, etc. While there are academic goals, it is so easy to fall in the trap of checking those boxes, patting yourself on the back and going on without considering how their character is coming along. Since character is who you are when nobody is watching, it is a harder thing to teach. It is a subject that is better caught than taught. What grades I made or how much I know is not something a hurting person wants to know. They want to know if I care. I have to really be on my toes to model that for the kids. That is probably the hardest thing in homeschooling for me.

 

[lorihadams]

The only thing I am currently a real stickler on is math practice and writing practice. I have some workbooks that my kids hate but they get to pick 2 pages from each section every day so that makes it easier. Yesterday my son did addition and today he did fractions and measuring. I don't care what he does as long as he does something every day. We just started Beverly Cleary's The Mouse and the Motorcycle and they are loving it.

Sometimes I get up first thing in the morning and say, alright go pick your pages so we can get it overwith. They know that if they don't fight me on it then it will go faster. Some days we hunker down and watch PBS all day. Today we made valentines for daddy and we are getting ready to cut sugar cookies from the dough we made this morning. They had to read the recipe, follow directions, measure everything, and then we will decorate them. Reading, math, and art all from cookies. After the cookies are done we will read and then they can have computer time to play on approved educational sites.

If you want something for the kids to do on their own there are wonderful sites with educational games for free that you can use.

Some of our favorites are

PBSkids.org
Peepandthebigwideworld.com for the younger ones
sheppardsoftware.com
abcya.com
moshimonsters.com (definitely my kids' favorite)

 

[rhoda_bruce]

Thanks. My 2 youngest are completely enjoying an extended childhood. They are very young for their age and its fine. I still rock them both 5 and 8 years old and they sneak in bed with me when they are scared....its all fine.
I try not to really fall behind their counterparts in public, but I don't stress too much because I know their counterparts have not experienced many of life's experiences that my kids have. My kids, and I'm sure plenty of your's as well, will be well equiped to tackle some pretty messy problems that other's their age, might just freak out for.
Hang in their ladies. Don't know about ya'll, but I had a pretty good day.

 

[folgerrd]

This post is really cool.