Farmfresh
City Biddy
An author! Bee? 
My, my .... haven't we heard THAT before?
My, my .... haven't we heard THAT before?
Bee~ Journal of then...
- Thread starter Beekissed
- Start date
2dream
Flibbertigibbet
Bee you are moving right along. I have not read your journal for a few days. Gosh thought I would never catch up.
Glad you got your moms tiller. That should make your planting much easier.
Note to self: Don't miss a single day of Bees journal. It takes to long to catch up. LOL
Glad you got your moms tiller. That should make your planting much easier.
Note to self: Don't miss a single day of Bees journal. It takes to long to catch up. LOL
BeccaOH
Almost Self-Reliant
Bee, I don't have the time to read your whole journal and catch up on you, but I do admire what I've learned about you here and there.
That calf is really admirable.
The hairy sheep really interest me. I only recently learned of their existence. I'll be interested in how that goes for you.
That calf is really admirable.
The hairy sheep really interest me. I only recently learned of their existence. I'll be interested in how that goes for you.
lorihadams
Always doing laundry
I saw a video of a goat on youtube licking an electric fence over and over....too funny! I can just imagine the "shock" 
of Shade getting ahold of that fence with some juice running through it! 
of Shade getting ahold of that fence with some juice running through it! 
nightshade
Lovin' The Homestead
I can just see our one bill doing that in the future- Thread starter
- #1,606
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
You all are a good source for smiles! 
I really appreciate the encouragement you give me each day...all of you! Its so nice to have someone understand this whole SS thing, cause sometimes I don't understand it myself!
Okay, you guys are going to love this story!
MY FIRST MILKING
By
Beekissed the Beleagured
I had left the calf in with Blossom all night in the milking pen, just so it wouldn't be such a transition, so I wasn't expecting to get much milk.....just wanted to get a feel for what type of experience this would be. I thought her first milking on my place shouldn't become too traumatic by losing her baby all night first off. So I let the little brat stay in the pen with her all night.
Needless to say, not much milk left in the morn, but I had to work on technique and routine and not worry so much about quantity right now.
I put hay in the feeder, washed the udder, settled down with my little stool and sparkly clean bucket.....
Wham! Manure soaked tail upside the head, dragged across the arm and up for the another swipe.....over and over! (Dumb human hadn't made sure that the flies weren't eating her cow to pieces first! )
Splat, splat.....shsshshshshshsshhss!!!!! The manure and urine gates came open and the cow did her traditional manure dance through the muck so as to try and help Bee get a healthy amount into the bucket, if she could.
Shade noses in and backs up to the bucket to add her donation of splat to the handy, sparkly-clean bucket.
Bee feels pretty successful that none of the manure fountains actually hit the target, thanks to her lightning quick reflexes and her potty-mouth exclamations! (Imagine an overweight, wild-haired woman scrambling out of the way, falling over the stool and sloshing her precious little milk all up her arm. :/ )
Blossom, by now, has ten different names~none of which can be uttered in public.
Bee finally feels like she has depleted the already drained dugs and proceeds to take her meager offering to the house.....but not before she moves Blossom back to her pasture, along with Shade~the beautiful brat.
Now, remember, Bee's back is screaming for mercy anyway and the herniated disc is still inflamed.....
Picture a 900lb. cow dropping to her knees every two steps because she wants to eat the grass right outside her pen and just can't wait to eat, even though she has already eaten her way through sweet feed and two flakes of hay and has cleaned all the grass out of her pen all night....
But I digress.....
Bee is pulling desparately on the lead, cow is pulling back~which she has never done before and had previously been lead easily~and dropping to her knees to steal some grass.
Picture the wild-haired woman giving the sweet Blossom a good double whack with the soft lead on the big ol' patoot while screaming obscenities to the sky! Blossom responds by trying to run the woman over....if ya want me to move, lady, I will MOVE!!!! Right over yer crazy, huge buttocks, if I must!
All the while, the woman is thinking, "I have to get to work, why in the h-e-double hockey sticks did God want me to have this blessed cow....I don't even drink milk!!!!!!!!!.....etc, etc." There were a lot of etc. in those thoughts, BTW!
I strained the milk into the pint jar that it didn't quite fill and sat down on the couch to cry.
The boys are sitting, frozen like rabbits, while the filth of frustration pours out of my gums......stress from work, my youngest getting ready to leave for basic training the next Monday, the garden not in the ground, getting company this weekend....all the feeling sorry for myself drivel that can spew from a hormonal woman's mouth.....you've heard it, girls...I don't need to explain further, as you have all been there!
We chill and taste the milk and the boys gag from the rich taste of creamy, Jersey milk! I crow silently that it should make some magnificent butter......when I can actually get enough to do it!
Tomorrow....... by golly, its war!
NOT QUITE THE END, TO BE CONT'D.
We have been re-evaluating this milking situation and believe we will alter the sheep head gates to fit Blossom, knock a wall out of the sheep pen to fit the big ol' gal in there and use a couple of gates created from my truck stock panels to enclose the pen again each night for Shade. It will take some shucking and jiving, but it will become routine for us all soon.
Today's milking was a little more successful, though not optimum, and yielded only a little over 1/2 gal. of milk. Took forever and took tying her head, using a boy to keep her from moving around and stomping on me, one to stand at her head and scratch her, some insect repellant to keep the flies from torturing her, keeping the calf separate all night and a more rested, more prepared, still-wild haired woman to milk the poor beast.
Success! Well.....almost...... 
I expect my hands will adjust to the milking, I will get a better rhythm, Blossom will produce more as Shade and I both start draining her, and we will get a more efficient system. The boys are already dreaming up adaptations to make this experience less labor intensive and stressful...for Blossom AND me!
The saga continues.........
I really appreciate the encouragement you give me each day...all of you! Its so nice to have someone understand this whole SS thing, cause sometimes I don't understand it myself! Okay, you guys are going to love this story!
MY FIRST MILKING
By
Beekissed the Beleagured
I had left the calf in with Blossom all night in the milking pen, just so it wouldn't be such a transition, so I wasn't expecting to get much milk.....just wanted to get a feel for what type of experience this would be. I thought her first milking on my place shouldn't become too traumatic by losing her baby all night first off. So I let the little brat stay in the pen with her all night.
Needless to say, not much milk left in the morn, but I had to work on technique and routine and not worry so much about quantity right now.
I put hay in the feeder, washed the udder, settled down with my little stool and sparkly clean bucket.....
Wham! Manure soaked tail upside the head, dragged across the arm and up for the another swipe.....over and over! (Dumb human hadn't made sure that the flies weren't eating her cow to pieces first!
)Splat, splat.....shsshshshshshsshhss!!!!! The manure and urine gates came open and the cow did her traditional manure dance through the muck so as to try and help Bee get a healthy amount into the bucket, if she could.
Shade noses in and backs up to the bucket to add her donation of splat to the handy, sparkly-clean bucket.
Bee feels pretty successful that none of the manure fountains actually hit the target, thanks to her lightning quick reflexes and her potty-mouth exclamations! (Imagine an overweight, wild-haired woman scrambling out of the way, falling over the stool and sloshing her precious little milk all up her arm. :/ )
Blossom, by now, has ten different names~none of which can be uttered in public.
Bee finally feels like she has depleted the already drained dugs and proceeds to take her meager offering to the house.....but not before she moves Blossom back to her pasture, along with Shade~the beautiful brat.
Now, remember, Bee's back is screaming for mercy anyway and the herniated disc is still inflamed.....
Picture a 900lb. cow dropping to her knees every two steps because she wants to eat the grass right outside her pen and just can't wait to eat, even though she has already eaten her way through sweet feed and two flakes of hay and has cleaned all the grass out of her pen all night....
But I digress.....
Bee is pulling desparately on the lead, cow is pulling back~which she has never done before and had previously been lead easily~and dropping to her knees to steal some grass.
Picture the wild-haired woman giving the sweet Blossom a good double whack with the soft lead on the big ol' patoot while screaming obscenities to the sky! Blossom responds by trying to run the woman over....if ya want me to move, lady, I will MOVE!!!! Right over yer crazy, huge buttocks, if I must!
All the while, the woman is thinking, "I have to get to work, why in the h-e-double hockey sticks did God want me to have this blessed cow....I don't even drink milk!!!!!!!!!.....etc, etc." There were a lot of etc. in those thoughts, BTW!
I strained the milk into the pint jar that it didn't quite fill and sat down on the couch to cry.
The boys are sitting, frozen like rabbits, while the filth of frustration pours out of my gums......stress from work, my youngest getting ready to leave for basic training the next Monday, the garden not in the ground, getting company this weekend....all the feeling sorry for myself drivel that can spew from a hormonal woman's mouth.....you've heard it, girls...I don't need to explain further, as you have all been there!
We chill and taste the milk and the boys gag from the rich taste of creamy, Jersey milk!
I crow silently that it should make some magnificent butter......when I can actually get enough to do it! Tomorrow....... by golly, its war!
NOT QUITE THE END, TO BE CONT'D.
We have been re-evaluating this milking situation and believe we will alter the sheep head gates to fit Blossom, knock a wall out of the sheep pen to fit the big ol' gal in there and use a couple of gates created from my truck stock panels to enclose the pen again each night for Shade. It will take some shucking and jiving, but it will become routine for us all soon.
Today's milking was a little more successful, though not optimum, and yielded only a little over 1/2 gal. of milk. Took forever and took tying her head, using a boy to keep her from moving around and stomping on me, one to stand at her head and scratch her, some insect repellant to keep the flies from torturing her, keeping the calf separate all night and a more rested, more prepared, still-wild haired woman to milk the poor beast.
Success!
Well.....almost...... I expect my hands will adjust to the milking, I will get a better rhythm, Blossom will produce more as Shade and I both start draining her, and we will get a more efficient system. The boys are already dreaming up adaptations to make this experience less labor intensive and stressful...for Blossom AND me!
The saga continues.........
- Thread starter
- #1,607
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
Am expecting company this weekend, so will not be on til next week....so you guys can laugh at me all weekend without me knowing it!
Aidenbaby
Lovin' The Homestead
Bee, I was actually thinking that you did a good job. I don't know any better as I've never tried to milk ANYTHING. If it were me, I would have probably spilled most or all of the milk both times. Your guests may enjoy the fresh milk though. I hope you get everything accomplished that you wanted and that your back doesn't give you too much of a problem. I'm with you completely hormonally speaking. My daughter got into my disposable and decided that they didn't need that silly paper that kept them from sticking together. She got to all but 10. She had better thank her lucky stars she's only 18 months.
Oh Bee.. Bless your heart.. I have never milked a cow but i can just see u both in the process of all this drama lol I have had my share of those hormonal woman episodes.. tehehe... Hang in there i am sure it will be alot better.. cant wait to hear more.. you make my days very interesting to hear what has been going on in your neck of the woods.. 
I have had my share of those hormonal woman episodes.. tehehe... Hang in there i am sure it will be alot better.. cant wait to hear more.. you make my days very interesting to hear what has been going on in your neck of the woods..
Farmfresh
City Biddy
I laughed ... I cried ... I laughed some more!
This is why you need a BOOK woman... YOU have ALREADY written part of it!
I cried ... I laughed some more! This is why you need a BOOK woman... YOU have ALREADY written part of it!
