Bee~ Journal of then...

Beekissed

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I heard you serenading!!! :) It was sweet, also! Now, I know you love to correct the spelling and grammar....I have to restrain myself often to stop from doing it also! Wouldn't want to take away your fun, now would I? :D


Thank you, Dacs, for your kind words! Hey, let me ask you something....did your hospice nurses stay there until the very end or did they just communicate over the phone throughout and then come in and take care of the transport to the funeral home? I know this may be hard to discuss, but I've been hearing that most hospice agencies do not do continuous care in the end.
 

dacjohns

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We were caring for my mother-in-law in our home. The hospice nurses came in at least twice a week. When my mother-in-law passed away they came right over and pronounced her dead. I think arrangements had already been made, my wife or her sister called the funeral home.

I was in Germany when she passed away so I wasn't home for her very last days. I was home for most of her in home care. We never had gotten along very well but in caring for her I learned to love her and considered myself her protector. One day she called me her angel.

Now you're making me cry.
 

Beekissed

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Oh, no! Please don't cry! I only asked because our agency doesn't normally do continuous care, but our particular office, where I work, initiated it some years ago and I think it sets our office apart.

I can't imagine going through this with a family right up until the most important time and then telling them, "Call me when they have passed and we'll come out and pronounce." I'm glad they do continuous care here, its the hardest time for the families. Even one of our own hospice nurses needed us to come and help her care for her mom through to the end. She hadn't realized how difficult it would be to make decisions about medicine dosages during those last hours. And that was a hospice nurse, so I can only imagine how hard it is for a lay person's family.

We have a lot of battles with the main office about keeping this service for our families. They just don't seem to understand!
 

Farmfresh

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We had a hospice nurse when my mother in law passed away about two years ago. She was there if we needed her to the end, but stayed mostly out of the way. I think the work she did was a great help to us all.

My husbands uncle also had a hospice nurse to the end at home. She was a really great person as well with a great happy spirit. I was glad that she could be so positive, it was easier to see that death is just another stage of life, especially if you are a Christian.

I don't know how people that are not believers are able to handle death at all. It would be awful to believe that you would never see somebody you love again and that they are just gone.

Now I am getting preachy.
 

Beekissed

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No, you're not! You wouldn't believe just how many folks profess Christianity who are just extremely scared of dying also. These folks won't take any narcotic pain meds because they are scared of going to sleep....afraid they won't wake up. That is the way I WANT to go....just go to sleep and never awaken this side of the Eastern Gate!

If Christians are scared, you can imagine how scared a nonbeliever is!

It is very hard for me to watch this fear, you cannot reason with them or help them with it in any way. Its hard to watch someone suffer physically because they won't take their pain meds for fear of sleeping until death.

Its even more difficult for me to understand it when its a Christian who has this fear...to have had time to say good-bye to family and resolve any issues and to know you are going where you will no longer be in pain or shed a tear? I would be feeling very differently....but then, every person has their own fears, doubts, and understanding of their relationship with God, so I cannot judge them from my viewpoint.
 

Farmfresh

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We spend a lot of time with family and hold our family duties as dearly important around here. Since this is the case I have had the privilege of being with both my Grandmother and my mother in law when they died. My mother in law in particular went out like only a Christian can, with both her sons and her daughter in law present. We had time to say good bye and sing hymns with her. There was no fear. Little sadness and thanks to a good nurse like you, no pain. It is the only way to fly in my book.
 

Quail_Antwerp

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Good morning, Bee. My apologies for not getting to your journal in awhile...:D

Last year I worked as an in home health aid. Ahem. The company didn't pay me near enough for me to suffer putting up the cranky ol' woman they stuck me with! She cussed me up one side and down the other FOR A COUGH! She was a germaphob, and the cleaners she made me use affected my allergies so I was constantly battling a dry throat and cough. She was absolutely certain I was bringing death in and was absolute that I was 100% contagious. :rolleyes: The last day I worked for her she screamed the F-bomb at me. I finished my job in silence, working..no more like struggling...to contain my temper and rage that had flared up....

Soon as I got home I called the agency and said they could fire me because there was NOTHING they could do to me that would make me go back to that lady's house.
 

dacjohns

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Those were the bitter sweet tears of having learned to love someone in their final days.

I'm not sure continuous care is. I guess it is what it sounds like, a hospice nurse or other caregiver there continuously.

We we very happy with the care. My mother-in-law died from CPOD. She moved in with us on Thanksgiving day and could still walk around. She passed away in late January. Once we got her on hospice and the nurses came by it was a huge weight being lifted off our shoulders. We were doing so many things wrong hoping she would pull out of it. The nurses told us what was going on, what to do, reviewed her meds and threw away most of them, replaced some meds, and gave us a lot of support and encouragement. What it boiled down to was that she wasn't going to make so we were going to make her quality of life as comfortable as possible. Forget the nutritious eating, if she wanted something she got it, usually she could only eat just a couple of bites. The meds were to help ease pain and make breathing easier.

I don't know if continuous care was even offered or available. It may be on a case by case basis. The way we did it worked for us.

I'm glad we did it that way.

Thank you hospice workers.
 

Beekissed

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The kids and I want to tell you about what happened with our "Christmas Project"! I tried so hard to get the money to pay for the rent for "our family" that needed it, worked extra long hours and everything but couldn't seem to get ahead. I prayed and worried over it and finally lay it at Jesus's feet by writing it down and putting it in the prayer box at church....that I would somehow make enough money to help this family. Guess what? One of the ladies found it and they took up an offering Sunday morning...with what I had already saved and the help of several others, we raised $384!!! The rent for this family is $350. :) I started crying as I counted the money...every prayer I've submitted to the prayer box has come true~this finally sunk into my mind.

God is sooooooooooo good!!!!! :)



Thank you, everyone, for making this my first stop online and my last stop when leaving it! Its been a great year getting to know you all and hearing about your lives. Its so nice knowing there are other nuts out there with the idea that less is more....so much more! :)

God bless your families and your future endeavors towards self-sufficiency. Have a happy, warm, wonderful Christmas and New Years!!!! :frow :love
 

MorelCabin

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Bee what a beautiful story! It worked out wonderfully for the family didn't it? That is so great, exactly wht the meaning of Christmas is!
I too am very thankful for this forum and everyone on it...it feels like family here:>)
 
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