FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
All right, anyone have any good ideas for a tall tale?
Bee~ Journal of then...
- Thread starter Beekissed
- Start date
Dace
Revolution in Progress
I hope you are having a good productive POSITIVE trip Bee!
I have been busy with my new Wooly Mammoth that I picked up at the local livestock auction. Here is a pic....we named him Woody.
I have been busy with my new Wooly Mammoth that I picked up at the local livestock auction. Here is a pic....we named him Woody.
Quail_Antwerp
Cold is on the Right, Hot is on The Left
DACE!!! I'm so JEALOUS! 
I want a Wooly Mammoth!!!
Hmm...maybe we should tell her how I bought a giraffe today..............
I want a Wooly Mammoth!!!Hmm...maybe we should tell her how I bought a giraffe today..............
freemotion
Food Guru
That is sooooome bull! 
I have a woolly heifer.....do you do shipped semen?
I have a woolly heifer.....do you do shipped semen?Dace
Revolution in Progress
Free...I will need to see if I can find a youtube on collecting woolly mammoth semen. I'll get back to ya
Sorry, Dace...it's been quite a day. Like I said, my dad was in an accident and I was gone most of the day. As is true for most of California, we are being deluged with rain. And you also know that I just had my backyard cleared this past weekend. Well, I hadn't given it a second thought. I am VERY inexperienced in all this stuff.
Without the three trees covering the majority of the yard, the entire place has become a mudpit. I saw it this morning, and thought "Doesn't that just figure?"
But when I got home from taking care of Dad's post-accident business, there were two police cars, an ambulance and one of those big crime lab panel vans in front of the fence, which was flat as a pancake. Neighbors were standing under their porch covers, wrapped in blankets and holding umbrellas, watching. It was pouring rain and there was what looked like a huge pile of mud in my front yard, including a few pieces of what looked like fencing.
I parked the car, grabbed my umbrella, and went over to see what on earth was going on. This 5'3" cop-lette tried to stop me ! She told me that I couldn't "approach a crime scene"? What? First of all...a crime scene? Second...she was so tiny, I could have taken her with a flick of my chubby little fingers.
Anyway, I made kind of a stink, and so the guy in charge strutted over and puffed out his chest and ordered me back. (He was covered in clear plastic from head to toe and it was hard to take him seriously.)
My son-in-law is a police chaplain and is quite well thought of, so I played the nepotism card and all of a sudden everyone's attitude changed. It was "yes ma'am", "no, ma'am", and "whatever you like, ma'am". I finally got the story.
The unearthing of the trees and the digging of the stumps apparently disturbed the earth enough that much of it slid down the slope of the front yard, and brought with it...human remains! It was like a bad episode of Columbo, but sure enough, there were bones, not fencing, sticking up from the pile of mud on the lawn.
Now, I have lived here 22 years, and if memory serves i have never buried a body in my back 40. Fortunately, I remember the names of the people I bought the house from, who also happened to stupidly sign a piece of concrete which was poured in the area, which was now hanging half way in mid air, with the mud having slid from underneath it.
By this time, I called my son-in-law and he showed up and took over and I finally felt less like a suspect and more like the center of a ridiculous amount of attention from the neighbors. I REALLY wanted to sneak around the other side of the house, stick a shovel in the trunk while the neighbors watched, and drive away guiltily.
So, now there is a bunch of yellow tape around my trees, it is still pouring rain at 10:00 at night, and I just looked out and there are people with flashlights walking around my lawn. Don't know if they are cops or neighbors, but I don't care. I am going to have a cup of tea and go to bed.
Without the three trees covering the majority of the yard, the entire place has become a mudpit. I saw it this morning, and thought "Doesn't that just figure?"
But when I got home from taking care of Dad's post-accident business, there were two police cars, an ambulance and one of those big crime lab panel vans in front of the fence, which was flat as a pancake. Neighbors were standing under their porch covers, wrapped in blankets and holding umbrellas, watching. It was pouring rain and there was what looked like a huge pile of mud in my front yard, including a few pieces of what looked like fencing.
I parked the car, grabbed my umbrella, and went over to see what on earth was going on. This 5'3" cop-lette tried to stop me ! She told me that I couldn't "approach a crime scene"? What? First of all...a crime scene? Second...she was so tiny, I could have taken her with a flick of my chubby little fingers.
Anyway, I made kind of a stink, and so the guy in charge strutted over and puffed out his chest and ordered me back. (He was covered in clear plastic from head to toe and it was hard to take him seriously.)
My son-in-law is a police chaplain and is quite well thought of, so I played the nepotism card and all of a sudden everyone's attitude changed. It was "yes ma'am", "no, ma'am", and "whatever you like, ma'am". I finally got the story.
The unearthing of the trees and the digging of the stumps apparently disturbed the earth enough that much of it slid down the slope of the front yard, and brought with it...human remains! It was like a bad episode of Columbo, but sure enough, there were bones, not fencing, sticking up from the pile of mud on the lawn.
Now, I have lived here 22 years, and if memory serves i have never buried a body in my back 40. Fortunately, I remember the names of the people I bought the house from, who also happened to stupidly sign a piece of concrete which was poured in the area, which was now hanging half way in mid air, with the mud having slid from underneath it.
By this time, I called my son-in-law and he showed up and took over and I finally felt less like a suspect and more like the center of a ridiculous amount of attention from the neighbors. I REALLY wanted to sneak around the other side of the house, stick a shovel in the trunk while the neighbors watched, and drive away guiltily.
So, now there is a bunch of yellow tape around my trees, it is still pouring rain at 10:00 at night, and I just looked out and there are people with flashlights walking around my lawn. Don't know if they are cops or neighbors, but I don't care. I am going to have a cup of tea and go to bed.
dragonlaurel
Improvising a more SS life
Can I borrow him, when I get land? He could help clear any patches that need it. I think you should have called him Shaggy.Dace said:
dragonlaurel
Improvising a more SS life
Ladychef - Wow- what a day. Hope your Dad's okay.
You had an adventure. Finding bones doesn't happen every day. . . so that's what happened to the guy that didn't like your cooking. Need an alibi?
You had an adventure. Finding bones doesn't happen every day. . . so that's what happened to the guy that didn't like your cooking.
Need an alibi?
FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
dragonlaurel said:Ladychef - Wow- what a day. Hope your Dad's okay.
You had an adventure. Finding bones doesn't happen every day. . . so that's what happened to the guy that didn't like your cooking.
That does sound like a scenario for a great detective novel or movie. Maybe it's all a set-up for a new pilot.
that is a great pic of your new wooly mammoth. I'm thinking of getting one also. Checking CL to see if any are available around here.
Quail_Antwerp
Cold is on the Right, Hot is on The Left
Look, just leave it alone, OK? My MIL is long gone by now, God Rest her Soul, and it's not her fault that hussy came after her husband. If women would learn to stay away from other women's husbands! Really!Ldychef2k said:
And my FIL doesn't know the truth of what happened to his pretty little redhead. My MIL told him the hussy moved. So please please please don't go digging up the past for him. It would break his heart to learn that Susie's been six feet under.
Tell, me though, did they find my MIL's wedding band in all that mud? My FIL hasn't let that go yet! That ring has been missing for roughly 22 years..........
