College...not worth it....?

[FarmerChick]

If he is 20 and wants to go to school - tell me again - what is holding him back? He can get his tail out there and EARN the money to pay for HIS education that will be benefiting HIM in the future.

I know FAR too many kids that mommy and daddy paid for everything and they piddled their way through higher education and are now at some dead end job that has nothing to do with their Art History degree (or whatever) that they earned. LOL it can be so reverse also. We all got college paid by parents and we all made wonderful salaries and produced wonderful lives with good careers.

I ALSO know FAR too many people (some of the single parents) that worked and scraped and EARNED their way through school even upper level degrees and are now in high paying positions. this is so true. if the ambition is there, anyone can do darn near anything

I believe in Sufficient Self when ever possible.

comes down to the kid. If that 20 yr old needs help and you KNOW he is a go getter, not to help would be just horrible.

if you KNOW that 20 year old is a true young loser (and sorry, but they are out there lol) then I probably would steer them into a different career path that wouldn't cost me tons of money lol

but usually a kid that asks for college is NOT a loser, so help anyway you can and make them help themselves also.

Adults need to still help a 20 yr old find out how to manuever in this world of financing college etc. HELP THE KID for heavens sake lol

 

[Wifezilla]

If mom and dad are.rolling.in dough....maybe. Even then allowing a young adult to act like a dependent child is seldom a good plan. If the parents are strapped and struggling??? School is nice, and it does help, but nobody else is obligated to put you through school. A person not willing to make the effort to do what it takes on their own doesn't have a great chance of even getting a degree. I had 2 toddlers and took night classes and did work study to get my degree. I watched the kids during the day and hubby had them while I was working and in class. Got As and graduated early. I was focused and motivated. I was in my mid 20's. Most of the younger kids there.on their parent's dime never finished.

 

[freemotion]

I'm a big fan of "pay for it yourself" for one big reason. As stated, he will learn far more valuable life lessons by earning his way through school. Sure, it may take him longer and cut into his fun budget (there may be none) but he will learn what it takes to be successful in life. I teach adults and I can tell pretty quickly who is paying for their own education and who has parents paying, or even a program paying for it. HUGE difference. The ones paying for it themselves work harder, demand more of their teachers, and shush the other students who are disruptive in class. They come to class prepared and with good questions. They often stay after or skip their breaks to get some one-on-one time with me. They often re-connect with me or other teachers after graduation for some mentoring. Which I happily do for free.

I was one of those kids that would have made a success of college if my parents had been able to pay for it. But I paid for every bit of schooling I've gotten over the years (I seem to keep going back, enrolled right now!) and never once resented that it wasn't handed to me. If you can help a motivated kid, great. If not, feel NO guilt. You are still giving him a gift by NOT helping.

 

[Farmfresh]

I have no problems with being emotionally supportive. I will do lots of very helpful loving things for you ... IF I see you busting a hump to get there like a grown up.

I am also very helpful and supportive if - through no fault of your own - you find yourself down and in a hard spot. That stuff just happens to the best sometimes.

Kudos to ALL of you out there who grew up, worked hard and got that college degree.

 

[Living the Simple Life]

Working in higher education, I strongly believe in higher education and encourage anyone who has an interest to pursue it. I believe in being a life-long learner. I also believe that a 20 year old is a grown adult and not a "kid". I believe in supporting people who are trying to better themselves, however I DO NOT believe in co-signing ANY type of loan (college, car, mortgage, nothing!). There are so many ways to get money for college IF you really want to go. A two-year associate degree can be achieved for around $6000. Many associate of applied science degrees prepare people for a career and often have a licensure or certification at the end of the program. Many good paying healthcare careers require a 2-year degree (Respiratory care, Radiography, Ultrasound Tech, Medical Assistant, LPN) as well as Auto mechanic, HVAC technician, Culinary to name a few. There are many universities who partner with community colleges and offer 3+1 programs (where you complete 3 years at the community college and 1 year at the university = HUGE cost savings). Literally hundreds of thousands of scholarship dollars go unawarded every year because no one wants to do the work to apply for them. There are also Pell grants and many loan options as well.

There are many ways you can support your son without signing for a loan. You can babysitting his kids (if applicable), let him eat at your house, fill up his car once in a while, offer to pay for his books if he covers the tuition, offer to provide internet service if he needs it for class. If he is not good a managing money, have him give you funds every week to put aside for his tuition and you control those funds so they aren't spent - do the same thing with his income tax refund. Also, encourage him to sell anything that he can spare.

If he is really serious about this, he can do it. You can be an incredibly supportive parent without being an open checkbook. The added benefit is that by doing this himself, he is going to value it more and it is going to give him an incredible sense of achievement that can change his life.

Good luck to your son! Make sure he knows you are proud of him (and don't forget to celebrate all the small achievements along the way!)

 

[ksalvagno]

What about a technical school? Get certified in something to get a better paying job than Walmart and then go for the 4 year degree while you are working that better paying job. I know our local technical school offers phlebotomy technician for $2600 and pharmacy technician for $3000 and these programs are completed in less than a year plus they help you find a job. You could still work while you were going to school.

Also, what is he interested in doing? Some jobs like to see certain certifications over a degree. My DH has advanced through getting the right certifications. He was working on finishing his degree but time never seems to be on his side. But he has done extremely well with the different certifications that he got over the years and continues to maintain them.

 

[Wifezilla]

Exactly simple life! We told our son he could live at home free of charge and we would still feed him if he was going to school full time. he dicided he wanted to live in the dorm though. That was fine with me because HE was the one who had to pay for it!

 

[me&thegals]

I have used my college education my whole life, even when just parenting. It's an incredible experience. Even when I went back to school to learn medical transcription, my earlier college degree allowed me to test out of 2 classes, saving me a lot of money and time.

Your son, IMO, should have an investment in this, though. He should be contributing to his own college bills in order to be fully committed to doing well.

 

[tamlynn]

If he wants to go, he can pay for it himself. He is a grown man. A grown man works and takes classes at night or joins the military to get gi bill benefits. A grown man gets grants, scholarships and loans on his own. A grown man would knock out all his prerequisites at an inexpensive community college before trying to go fulltime with core classes.

Absolutely.

 

[Britesea]

A two-year associate degree can be achieved for around $6000. Many associate of applied science degrees prepare people for a career and often have a licensure or certification at the end of the program. Many good paying healthcare careers require a 2-year degree (Respiratory care, Radiography, Ultrasound Tech, Medical Assistant, LPN) as well as Auto mechanic, HVAC technician, Culinary to name a few.

Exactly! Depending on what someone wants to do, a 4 year degree is not always necessary. Even if it is preferred, it is possible to get a decent paying job on the strength of a 2 year degree and then continue college at night.

Finding the Right College can make a huge difference also, and it doesn't always mean the most expensive one. In my case, I have a 2 year degree in Interior Design from a community college. HOWEVER, it was considered one of the top four institutions in the nation for ID. So much so, that if you acquired the two year degree, you were allowed to apply for full membership in the ASID (American Society of Interior Designers) without going through the two year internship that was required of someone with a 4 year degree in any other college.

My DS3 is currently attending Job Corps to get his certification as a computer tech. He is trying to finish it quickly, as they have a program available whereby Job Corps will pay in full for 1 year of community college (including room and board) provided he finishes his certification within two years (the Job Corps program allows you a maximum of 3 years) He was able to get into Job Corps on a "financial difficulty" because he was no longer a minor so they did not count our income into the equation. DS was able to get tested for his GED, and he could have gone for a diploma but he opted for getting the college instead. They paid for his Driver Training and he just got his license. He has basic medical, vision and dental provided. He even gets an allowance!
Job Corps is an excellent vocational program that I urge anyone with children to look into. It's one of the very few government programs that actually works (granted there are failures, but *shrug* there are more successes).