Daydreaming while waiting impatiently!

[flowerbug]

Oh boy... sorry about that!

things so different now, we just beat on each other...

 

[tortoise]

things so different now, we just beat on each other...

this is DS14's issue. He has decided it's good to try to force people to do what he wants and that if he doesn't he will be "weak" which he equates with bullying. This is an autism issue where he has a rigid thought pattern he can't /won't change, and it's based on his misunderstanding of human relationships. As in, he can't or won't comprehend that there are social hierarchies and rules governing human interactions so that it's okay for a parent of a young child to force a behavior that is a safety issue (e.g., to hold a toddler's hand to keep them out of traffic even if toddler is throwing a tantrum) but it's not okay for that same parent to try to manipulate or force an adult to do something. ... unless they are a police officer and doing their job appropriately.

He still hasn't figured out that the way kids form relationships at age 4 is not the same as age 14, so he has issues with teachers and friends. At age 4, teachers like outgoing know-it-all kids and reinforce behaviors like raising hands frequently and displaying facts they've learned. At age 4, children like the kids that the teacher likes, so a smartie-pants kiddo can enjoy popularity too. At age 14, teachers don't like the know-it-all kids. When they share facts they're considered disrespectful, arguing, or "dominating the classroom." Raising your hand too often is "immature." And at age 14 kids are like what adults don't like, so they automatically don't like kids that show teacher's pet behavior.

:sigh:

 

[NH Homesteader]

You’re making me miss my old job working with kids with autism I loved when parents were aware of their child’s needs like you are. Understanding people is a challenge for all teenagers, never mind having autism on top of it all.

 

[tortoise]

You’re making me miss my old job working with kids with autism I loved when parents were aware of their child’s needs like you are. Understanding people is a challenge for all teenagers, never mind having autism on top of it all.

uggh, awareness and can't get anything to change. Ignorance is bliss? How is it that I can train dogs and other people's children, but not my own?!

 

[tortoise]

uggh, awareness and can't get anything to change. Ignorance is bliss? How is it that I can train dogs and other people's children, but not my own?!

My bedside table reading selection includes Behavior Modification in Applied Settings, and Learning and Behavior.

 

[NH Homesteader]

I have a big ol’ textbook on Applied Behavior Analysis! Got about halfway through the course work for my certification and then babies happened and I still struggle with DD1. It’s harder when it’s your own!

 

[tortoise]

If I had more patience I would consider certifying in ABA. Pretty sure it pays better and is more consistent work than dog training.

 

[NH Homesteader]

Yep. Requires lots of hours training under a BCBA, that’s the hardest part to make happen.

 

[Cecilia's-life]

If I had more patience I would consider certifying in ABA. Pretty sure it pays better and is more consistent work than dog training.

ABA therapy is very controversial and many of my friends who went through it were heavily abused. Especially the ones who were prone to muteness under stress.

Why ABA Therapy is Harmful to Autistic People

You may have heard of “Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy.” You might think that it must be good for your child because a lot of teachers, therapists, and doctors have endorse it for a…

autisticscienceperson.com

If we could have someone like you running and ABA program the world would be better.

 

[NH Homesteader]

I assure you there are bad ABA programs and there are good ones. I have only (briefly) worked in one bad one. I primarily worked with nonverbal children. There are many abusive non-ABA programs as well.