Do you ever feel like giving up...but didn't? New strength to go on...

[justusnak]

Oh Bee....I would say I am sorry that you are feeling that way...but I see it this way.
You feel like you have to always be on the go go go go go!! Get things done, run here, there, comfort everyone..and your job, WOW! MORE than I could handle. Now, as I see it...the Lord is putting you in a position, you HAVE to stop..and just take it all in. HE is showing you..yes, the work will be there when you get back up, but, no one will die because it didnt get done. This is a time when you "have to" sit still...think..not of what you lack, but how you have been blessed. You have inspired so many people on here...you are a blessing to us!
Some days I wish I could play the lottery...and win..but then where would I be!? Rich...sure...but happy!??I doubt it. I think HE knows it too. Happiness is when you lay your head down at night...and fall fast asleep...without the need of chemicals. ( Of course we call it exaustion) but it means you put in an honest days work. Take a few days Bee....its about time...and I hope you are feeling better....in a few days.

 

[Javamama]

It's like you were reading my mind. The last couple days were rough with the kids and I was so grateful that there is a grocery store with convenience food and a pizza shop within a couple of miles. I do not function well in hot weather and hate going out to tend the garden and animals. I have really struggled in my mind with wanting to have it both ways - and right now I do have it both ways but I feel so guilty about it.
Hope you get to feeling better soon. We all have our down days.

 

[Dace]

Life is just plain hard sometimes huh?

God knows that most (if not all) of us here have been there done that. Most of us are here, choosing this frugal, make due, unconventional lifestyle because it fits where we are financially as well as our (cockamamie) ideals, but let's be honest...we are doing things the hard way!

I think that on days when you feel like giving up, those are good days to lay around with a book and lose yourself and your worries for a bit.

Bee, you may have spent some money that you didn't need to and feel guilty over that but you need to let it go. Opportunuites presented themselves, you took advantage and had some great experiences and some great stories to share with us all. There was a reason for your purchases, accept that they were made and focus on tomorrow. You do so much to help so many people around you, you touch so many near and far with your kindness... for all that good you do you are entitled to indulge here and there. Don't feel guilty...even if you do not see the purpose right now you know there is/was one, it just has not made itself clear to you yet.

Big hugs to you my friend ...I hope that back of your feels better tomorrow.

 

[me&thegals]

Wow--is it in the air, or what? This is exactly how I have been feeling. My weeds in the gardens are so out of control that herbicides are starting to look pretty darn good right now! Scrambled eggs and toast for suppers since we're working too late and too pooped out to cook. No time for anything but work, work, work.

Yes, this way of life is darn hard. It seems pointless to others and so we don't really get help. But, I'm going to try to think of how wonderful it will be this winter to have fruits, veggies, chickens and eggs like crazy, good firewood and maybe even some honey

Hang in there. Put on some great music or give yourself half a day to just relax or sleep. Then, hopefully you will be ready to get right back at it!

 

[FarmerDenise]

yup. life sucks sometimes. But with a little help from our friends we get by sometimes and maybe we get high sometimes. and we keep on going.
When I look of the pictures of your little homestead, I get to feeling homesick. I want to live there. Yet, I have a beautiful place I am living at now in the perfect climate.
So as Free said, take a break, breathe the beautiful contry air you live in, indulge in something or other. Tomorrow the sun will rise again and it will be the first day of the rest of your life.
and "keep on truckin"
I'm so glad for this forum.

 

[Beekissed]

You guys are really the greatest, you know that? I knew I could whine to you all and you would understand!

Yes, I'm human. I admit it. Big Brown Horse, I've been where you are at and back then, I allowed myself many, many more days of staying in Pity Town! I spent many years resenting women who go to work outside the home when they didn't need to.....it hurt that I had to struggle without any help financially, and I worked with women who freely admitted that they "didn't have to work". I daydreamed of stealing their husbands and their lives!

I posted this thread, not to get sympathy, but to feel empathy with anyone out there who is doing this THING. This THING called SS that sometimes becomes overwhelming but you know you need to do it because it is the sane, intelligent way to live in today's economy. I'm normally strong and upbeat but I'm by no means perfect.....not even in the realm of perfect. My SS life has come about more from necessity and poverty than by a conscious choice.

Free, that was excellent advice and you have no idea how many miles I would drive to get a massage from you!

I guess I'm just embarassed about my failures and just plain defeated this week. This has been happening more and more and I'm wondering if it isn't hormonal fluctuations. Before you advise pills or herbal intervention, I might as well tell you that I'm absolutely no good at remembering to take a pill. I will walk around with pain all day and finally realize I've been doing that.....and THEN I'll take something for it. Its pretty bad when you can't remember to take a pain pill unless you are practically screaming!

I just wanted everyone to know that I'm not always Pollyanna-ish and scrappy. Sometimes I'm just a woman who is tired. I need a break from this, from life, from work, from.....from......well, from being. Sometimes I think it helps others to know that someone else feels fat, tired, lazy, stupid, insufficient and lonely. If for just a little while, I think everyone feels like that sometimes, don't they? Well, next time you do, I just want you to know that I feel your pain!

 

[SKR8PN]

Sometimes I think it helps others to know that someone else feels fat, tired, lazy, stupid, insufficient and lonely.

You described my entire life in that sentence.

Hope your feeling better today!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Bee, I haven't ever felt like giving up on our way of SS living, but I did have those feelings before choosing to live SS....back when we were both working outside of the home, someone else was caring for my kids daily while I worked, and barely having time to do anything outside.

Give me a few weeks of having to do all this farm stuff myself, we'll see how I feel then.

I don't have the desire to win the lottery. It's just money, and yes while money can be useful, it doesn't buy happiness or satisfaction, or solve any real problems. Mostly, money just covers up the problems. :/

 

[2dream]

Bee - sorry you were having a day. I missed this whole conversation and every other one here due to my own Pity Party.
For me you know its bad when I don't even come here to see whats going on.
LOL

It must definitely be in the air.

We need to add frustrated and discontent to your list.

Hope you are feeling better today. I am. As you said. You can pack your bags and visit but you can't move in and pay rent.

I do the same thing you do with the pain. Of course since it is always there 24/7 it just kind of seems normal. Plus that means I would be eating pills instead of meals and sleeping my life away instead of trying to live it.

You are an inspiration to us all. Love ya, Mean it. Now up and at em. Its a whole new wonderful day.

 

[Frosting]

Everyone has bad days. My hope is that the good ones out number the bad. That my meds keep me moving and living life to the fullest.

to you and I hope today is better.