patandchickens
Crazy Cat Lady
I've heard enough reeealllly bad things about various modern Asian models of schooling to not want to go very far in that direction. Apparently a number of Japanese, Singapore etc schools and parents are now moving in a more-Western direction (less intense and unremitting pressure) and finding it produces better results and fewer problems. So, I dunno.
Personally I think each side has some strengths and some weaknesses, you have to pick and choose what to do.
For instance I utterly disapprove of constant pressure about lots of things for kids; OTOH sometimes strong pressure applied in one direction at the right time for just long enough can make a real difference and have lasting *good* (rather than negative) effects.
You know, though, I don't necessarily have a problem with "there are no losers". It depends what's meant. Of course there is, obviously, only one winner of a particular game or competition, and kids need to learn to accept that.
OTOH the other players have gained something too, and I think it is an awful good idea to help kids learn to figure out what useful they've gotten out of any experience (whether it's "I can have fun even if I am not the fastest kid on the track" or "I really need to pay attention when the pony approaches the jump because he might stop or swerve" or "if I don't study, I am going to do terrible on the spelling test and that's not fun so I should study next time" or even just "I do not wish to do that again". It's all useful new information)
The thing I have a bit more trouble with is the classic "you can be/do whatever you want to be/do". Only true in the broadest sense. Not everyone can be President of the US, and no matter how much you WANT to be able to flap your arms and fly you just can't. Too often it's presented in those terms though, and that is not good IMO. However, if it is presented more thoughtfully, in the sense of "ok so you want to be President of the US, what steps do you need to take to pursue that goal AND what other things might bring you similar satisfaction... being mayor of a town, starting a business, helping run a charitable organization, what exactly *is* it about being President that you want and what are some alternatives you could consider too?"... THAT I have no problem at all with.
The thing I'm working on encouraging in my kids these days is Hard Work And Perseverance. Something I'm good at myself for tasks I enjoy but really suck at for non-enjoyable tasks, and I would really like to get the kids to grow up with a better work ethic for non-enjoyable tasks than I have myself LOL
So instead of saying "good job" or "nice drawing" or "cool snow fort" or whatever, I am trying lately to more-often focus on how they got there -- "hey, you really worked hard at that", "I saw how you rebuilt the snow fort after the wall fell over and isn't it great how well that worked out in the end?", sort of thing.
That's just my current hobby and I'm sure it will wear off to a large degree as time passes but hopefully I'll have gotten more used to working it into conversation in general by then
Pat
Personally I think each side has some strengths and some weaknesses, you have to pick and choose what to do.
For instance I utterly disapprove of constant pressure about lots of things for kids; OTOH sometimes strong pressure applied in one direction at the right time for just long enough can make a real difference and have lasting *good* (rather than negative) effects.
You know, though, I don't necessarily have a problem with "there are no losers". It depends what's meant. Of course there is, obviously, only one winner of a particular game or competition, and kids need to learn to accept that.
OTOH the other players have gained something too, and I think it is an awful good idea to help kids learn to figure out what useful they've gotten out of any experience (whether it's "I can have fun even if I am not the fastest kid on the track" or "I really need to pay attention when the pony approaches the jump because he might stop or swerve" or "if I don't study, I am going to do terrible on the spelling test and that's not fun so I should study next time" or even just "I do not wish to do that again". It's all useful new information)
The thing I have a bit more trouble with is the classic "you can be/do whatever you want to be/do". Only true in the broadest sense. Not everyone can be President of the US, and no matter how much you WANT to be able to flap your arms and fly you just can't. Too often it's presented in those terms though, and that is not good IMO. However, if it is presented more thoughtfully, in the sense of "ok so you want to be President of the US, what steps do you need to take to pursue that goal AND what other things might bring you similar satisfaction... being mayor of a town, starting a business, helping run a charitable organization, what exactly *is* it about being President that you want and what are some alternatives you could consider too?"... THAT I have no problem at all with.
The thing I'm working on encouraging in my kids these days is Hard Work And Perseverance. Something I'm good at myself for tasks I enjoy but really suck at for non-enjoyable tasks, and I would really like to get the kids to grow up with a better work ethic for non-enjoyable tasks than I have myself LOL
So instead of saying "good job" or "nice drawing" or "cool snow fort" or whatever, I am trying lately to more-often focus on how they got there -- "hey, you really worked hard at that", "I saw how you rebuilt the snow fort after the wall fell over and isn't it great how well that worked out in the end?", sort of thing.
That's just my current hobby and I'm sure it will wear off to a large degree as time passes but hopefully I'll have gotten more used to working it into conversation in general by then
Pat