Financial Budgeting In Relationships - What works for you?

[krjwaj]

1) Who is more "frugal", you or your spouse? Equal, spouse if I had to choose.
2) Has the unbalance caused any issues (small or big) in your relationship? No.
3) Do you both have the same financial goals, e.g., retire young, live out in the country, be debt free, big vacations, or simple living? Yes!
4) Have you tried to budget? If yes or no, why? We do mental math and really don't spend wihtout thinking.

 

[Better Half]

1) Who is more "frugal", you or your spouse?
Me

2) Has the unbalance caused any issues (small or big) in your relationship?
Yes, I'm getting bitter

3) Do you both have the same financial goals, e.g., retire young, live out in the country, be debt free, big vacations, or simple living?
I like all of those goals. My DH says he doesn't believe in goals.

4) Have you tried to budget? If yes or no, why?
No. I just pay the bills and spend what's left. Savings I consider a bill.

5) If you have tried to budget, what has and/or has not worked for you? N/A

 

[reinbeau]

I love this topic!! I could sit with another married couple and talk about if for ages.

I've found that no matter how frugal or spendy each person is, there is always one that is a bit more spendy or frugal than the other. This being the case, it often ends up being a little (or even huge) point of contention in relationships.

So, I'd love to see a discussion on what you do. A few questions to get the conversation juices flowing:

1) Who is more "frugal", you or your spouse?

My husband definitely is more frugal than me.

2) Has the unbalance caused any issues (small or big) in your relationship?

It caused a few bumps. I have for the most part adapted to the way he thinks because he pays his bills off monthly - I tended to use my credit card too much. I know if I want something badly enough he'll find a way to make it happen. I know this will get into the psychology of my previous marriage, suffice it to say I made a good choice the second time!

3) Do you both have the same financial goals, e.g., retire young, live out in the country, be debt free, big vacations, or simple living?

Yes, we do, we want to be debt free, live simply, he'd like to move back up to Maine but I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that....other than that we're on the same page.

4) Have you tried to budget? If yes or no, why?

I used to try to budget, but now we just pay the bills. And not rack them up monthly so it's too hard to do so.

5) If you have tried to budget, what has and/or has not worked for you?

I was much too impulsive a spender to live on a budget. It's a great goal, but unattainable for the more undisciplined!

 

[shareneh]

1. Who is most frugal?

I would say that I am because DH doesn't care one way or the other.

2. Has the unbalance caused any issues?

Of course we have days when the money situation is on the table. This is how it goes. We argue just a little and he gives in to what I say using his pouty face. But then I feel greedy and give in back. Then he gives in willingly and I feel better. I love my man...

3. Have you tried to budget?

Yep, time and again, and it worked really well until I got lazy and didn't do it anymore. But each time We give it a go I get better and develop more skills and willpower so we are already on a ficticious budget that keeps our head out of the water.

4. If you have tried a budget what has or has not worked for you.

Worked for us...

Writing out all the bills owed and balances due each month really puts things into perspective. Then writing the late fees and finding how much you had to pay extra, ouch. Then going over the bank statement and realizing how much extra spending we did for nothing, like eating out and cash withdrawls from the atm for things we don't remember. Let's not forget those nasty overdraft payments. There was a time my DH deposited a check and saw that we had a large sum in the bank, he proceeded to spend all of it and more. What worked for me was taking the card away from him until way way way after the checking account balanced out again.

What doesn't work for us...

If we don't communicate what we are spending namely he doesn't tell me what he needs and just gets it, that throws me off and causes me to be very crabby but DH hasn't tried spending off the grid in quite some time.

 

[silkiechicken]

I love this topic!! I could sit with another married couple and talk about if for ages.

I've found that no matter how frugal or spendy each person is, there is always one that is a bit more spendy or frugal than the other. This being the case, it often ends up being a little (or even huge) point of contention in relationships.

So, I'd love to see a discussion on what you do. A few questions to get the conversation juices flowing:

1) Who is more "frugal", you or your spouse?
2) Has the unbalance caused any issues (small or big) in your relationship?
3) Do you both have the same financial goals, e.g., retire young, live out in the “country”, be debt free, big vacations, or simple living?
4) Have you tried to budget? If yes or no, why?
5) If you have tried to budget, what has and/or has not worked for you?

I'm not married but my SO and I have a budget

1) I'd say we're equally frugal but spendy like youth tend to be. I spend alot more on little things like eatable goodies and pets, while my SO likes his big expensive quality one time purchaces. In the end it's about equal. I'm the one with the expense spreadsheet of about 90% of purchaces acounted for.
2) No, but then again, my dad still pays for my insurances, car, taxes, and so on.
3) We don't want to rent anymore! Simple living with no debt. I want a dump in the country rather than a new house in a develoment. LOL
4) Yep, we got one, had to figure out who'd pay what and how much, we'll see if we stick to it when school get's going and were in the same state more often.
5) Works so far. We're boring people though so going out isn't our cup of tea, that saves alot of money vs others our age.

 

[1acrefarm]

Basically in a nutshell my wife left and lowered my cost of living astronomically. Edited to say our financial differences of opinion was one of the larger reasons for the split.

 

[Zenbirder]

1. We are very equally frugal. We were both burned in first marriages, and would not have married each other if we were not very like minded on money.

2. No issues. If he says he wants something I encourage him to get it because he is so frugal that I know he has to have his heart set on it. He is such a good man he deserves anything he chooses to want that we are in a position to afford. I have the freedom to splurge on myself because I am also so frugal that he is comfortable with my spending decisions. Most of the things we want are in the long term practical choices anyway and contribute to our lifestyle in some way.

3. Two minds, one track, no debt.

4. I do the rough math, but don't get detailed. I would do more if we were not doing as well as we are financially. Neither of us has ever bought anything other than property on time. We never used a credit card to pay unless we could pay the entire bill at the end of the month and we always both have lived below our means. Therefore, we saved enough earlier on in our lives to be comfortable but not extravagant now.

5. We still budget for the really big ticket items like my (new to me but used) truck, and the solar PV system hoped for next year. Working out the math lets us really know how much we are comfortable with spending. Lately it seems that is harder to do with construction projects because in between planning and shopping all the prices have gone up significantly!

 

[the simple life]

What works for us, is that I handle all the money.
I am way more concious of where our money goes.
You could give my husband a $20.00 bill to go by a pack of bubble gum and he will come home with a nickel and not really know where the rest of the money went.
He's a great guy, but careful with money? Not so much.

The thing is no one loves a bargain more than him either.
His motto is- "if its free its for me."

So, we agreed that I will pay all the bills and household stuff.
I tell him what I paid for bills and what we have left.
Then when we need something for the house or need to make a major purchase we discuss it.
I tell him what we have and we decide if its something we want to do.

It works for us because he is really not that interested in having to deal with all the finiancial stuff.
I just let him know where we are at all the time.
Even if he doesn't want to hear it.

We don't go out and spend alot of money, its usually spent on the kids or home improvements.
We love home projects that we can do together so thats where we spend any disposable income.

Neither one of us spends much money on ourselves so when one of us does decide they need/want something the other is supportive.
Usually we each have to push the other into buying something for our personal use.
I think its the mindset of always putting the family first that makes it hard for us to splurge on ourselves.

We don't fight over money and have a roof over our heads, so it must be working for us.

 

[allterrainwarrior]

Great Topic!!


In my first marriage we were not frugal at all. It was a disgrace that we made alot of money and lived practically from paycheck to paycheck. I didn't like that way of living and it's no wonder things didn't work out.

I swore I would never remarry and I did; but now things are so different, my wife got me on track. The first habit that had to go was the ATM machine. I use to go to the ATM for everything and that came to a complete halt. She showed me how to budget and every 1st and the 15th we take money out that we will need for two weeks. We have a little plastic bag with Food money written on it and one for our GAs and we pull from that to do our shopping and gas. It has worked out so much living on a budget. It was hard for me at first but when we followed our savings plan for how much money we should have every month and when I saw that wwe either met or exceeded our goals. I got hooked.

Now Ironically, I make much less money than I did before but I don't live from paycheck to paycheck and I don't have any bills instead of Mortgages.

A great budget is Priceless!!

 

[ScottyG]

My wife and I don't quite go all the way to a budget, but I like our system, and think it works well for us.

We have a "joint" account that we put the same amount of money in every month, and we use it for all bills, gasoline, groceries, household stuff, and the like. We also each have a "personal" account with not too much money in it, that we can use for things we just want for ourselves, stupid things that we can't resist, meals out, and the like. And we have a "savings" account for getting ready for future purchases, and putting money away for our daughter and such.

Simple, I guess, but we're very pleased with it. The personal accounts let us be as irresponsible as we want without feeling beholden to the other one, but within a very safe, limited range of funds. The joint account lets us pay all our practical bills without worrying about who's paying more or less than their share, etc. I'm a part-time worker, and part-time stay-at-home dad, so it's helpful to not feel like I have to beg for money to pay bills. We just each toss money in (my wife tosses in more, because she works full-time) and have a pool of family funds.

Works well for us! Great topic. How cool to read what everyone is doing with this complicated issue.