Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[Mini Horses]

My heart is breaking for you

 

[baymule]

I can’t imagine your sorrow. You will be in my heart today.

 

[The Porch]

We're having a small private memorial tomorrow at my son's house.

I don't know how to do this ya'll. I'm a big ol' mess....

 

[murphysranch]

I've never "done this" and not sure I'd survive very well. Your daughter was BEAUTIFUL! May she reside in a place that just as BEAUTIFUL as her soul.

 

[farmerjan]

My heart is so sad for you and her husband, the children and the rest of your family.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Thinking of your family this morning and hoping for healing.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Thanks everyone. Life has a way of forcing us back to a semi schedule even after unspeakable tragedy. Animals still need to be cared for, meals cooked, laundry done... Part of me wants nothing more than to think about her and go over memories every minute of every day but that's not realistic. Life goes on and even though "life" pisses me off immeasurably right now - it still goes on.

SIL and grands left yesterday. Broke my heart to let them go. School is starting in a couple weeks so there are things they need to attend to.

Turned the goats into the overgrown areas that were formerly gardens. Amazing how they can plow through an area that is over 6 foot tall with weeds so thick I can't walk through. An afternoon of that and I can see the ground now. Not sure if I'll put a garden back there or just stick to my smaller raised beds going forward.

I'm going to try and ease DH and I into the Mediterranean diet way of eating. I've lost a few lbs, but DH seems to be eating his grief. He's gained probably 10 lbs in the last few weeks. Worst thing that can happen to his body. HIs back and hips don't need any more challenges.

 

[flowerbug]

when i went through a bad spell of things it often felt like there were two people here, one that was going to work and doing what needed to be done and then the other half that was a blasted out shell that needed to grieve before it all came back together.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

when i went through a bad spell of things it often felt like there were two people here, one that was going to work and doing what needed to be done and then the other half that was a blasted out shell that needed to grieve before it all came back together.

Yes - that is a great way to explain it.

 

[Mini Horses]

function...it's what your obligations and need tos force you to do. Looking back, it was my need to "care for and do" that kept me half stable. How fortunate that when I had a breakdown, my goats & minis allowed the tears to flow as I hugged them! Then I was able to rationalize that even with grieving, I was able to move forward, I needed to move forward. Those lost always remain with us! Always.

I'm so glad you have others to hug.