Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

frustratedearthmother

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My poor, poor critters. It just keeps raining, and raining, and raining, and .... well, you get the idea. I don't know what to do when all the babies start coming. I can't imagine those tiny little goatlings trying to deal with all this muck! There are very few areas at my place that aren't ankle deep mud right now. I see some serious goat shuffling in my future, lol.

I've spent a lot of time working on finding a place for mom and dad. I looked at a facility that starts with independent living and progresses to assisted and then alzheimers care. Unfortunately, with both my parents still living they simply cannot afford anything other than basic independent living. For the two of them it would be $3700-3900 a month. We can swing that, but if they needed to move up in care level to assisted living the price, for two of them jumps to nearly $6K a month. That's more than we can do...how sad is that? So, for now, in order to preserve their money for as long as possible I'm looking for a rent house near me. I can't bring them to my house because it's two story with all bedrooms and full baths upstairs. Not safe for the oldsters. In fact, DH and I will have to worry about that in our future also.

So, I've found two rental properties within 10-12 minutes from my house and both are within 5 minutes of my workplace. I'll be trying to contact the leasing agents today.

I think this option will work for now. They're living independently in their own home right now so this won't be a big change from that. And, dad is adamantly opposed to apartment living. For now, he'll get his wish.

Gotta get busy, long day planned for today.
 

Mini Horses

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Wow on the parents living arrangements. Sounds like your have no insurance to cover, like mine. They just didn't have much of that available when they were working. My mom alone costs $3500 a month, 2 in a room. I pay for laundry & extra for incontinence care. The problem with staying in a house is the fact that no one is there to oversee. Mom should have move with me a couple yrs before she finally did. After 5 yrs, she just required more than I could continue alone. Now, 9 mos later, she is far, far less mobile than before and memory far less, also. It's sad and scary.

I sold her house to help, she has good income to cover much of it. But she had been buying "stuff" from anyone & everyone -- who knew?? And all that had to be covered. I'm an only child, so have to handle all. Spent all day today going to visit, meeting with physical & occupational therapists, reviewing her room, etc. (which I do to keep all on their toes!). Rental will help for a while but, keep looking.

When I began the search, I contacted "A place for Mom" they have lists of locations for housing. Nice website with some info, blogs, etc. Good referals to other sites, also. Just a fyi.
:caf:hugs
 

frustratedearthmother

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Thanks MH. We've been in touch with "A Place for Mom". They gave me the name of a couple Assisted Living places.

The plan, as of this morning, was to sell the house and get them moved here. You are right that there won't be anyone with them 24/7, but at least I'll be 5 minutes away. They live independently now - but it will just take one time for a problem...

Notice I said the plan was as of this morning....

Mom had a bad night earlier this week and has been to see her doc. She said she had a terrible pain in her abdomen. Her regular doc couldn't find anything wrong and sent her to a Gyno....he couldn't find anything wrong so is sending her for a CT scan tomorrow morning. Now - my guess is that there will be no problem but she is convinced that they will find cancer. Soooo, she wants to wait for the test results before deciding to move. ARGH!

I've spent all week on the run looking at Asst. Living places, calling senior apartment complexes, talking with leasing agents, looked at two houses today, gathered about a million boxes to start packing with... and now she wants to wait? Just shoot me now, lol.

But - the silver lining is that I told her I found a BEE-YOU-TEE-FUL house and she's intrigued. She called me a couple times asking questions about it - so I think the lure of a new place might work, lol. (unless they actually do find something on the CT scan)

Stay tuned... the ride is bumpy now and promises to get oh, so much worse! :barnie
 

Tirtzah

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Hello to Frustrated & To All Who Have Parents getting to that age when they can't stay completely independent forever.......I have some hands on experience & knowledge HELP for anyone's parents
who do NOT have that $3000-$6000 per month to move into places for Seniors that begin at the
"Independent Living" stage and progress through to the "Totally Dependent 24/7 stage"

My "helpful" knowledge is for anyone whose parents do NOT have any real "Assets" financially and
who are on BOTH Medicare & Medicaid. Each State has charge over their State's Medicaid Program.
Accessed through the Dept. of Social Services (local branch). If, your parents live now in a different
State than you do, their Medicaid would simply Transfer States, to whatever State you live in, if you
are moving them to live closer to where you live, in your State.

***THE KEY*** to getting their Medicaid to "Transfer" to your State smoothly, without any lapse in
coverage days, is to contact your local Dep't. of Social Services~~Medicaid Dep't Worker! He or she
will be able to give you the "step by step" information which your State's Medicaid needs from you
in order to be able to pick your parents up on the same date they will be arriving in your State. It
is most helpful and beneficial to you, to have the **Contact Info.** on your parents Current Medicaid
Worker, in the State in which your parents now live! Your parents Current Medicaid Worker, will bend
over backwards to Help You! As every Social Worker is carrying already an Overload of Case Files/Clients!
Just reducing their case load by one or two cases, is a very welcomed "break" for them! So you will find that they will *Expedite* all necessary paperwork on your and your parent(s) behalf!

**It gets even better from here!** All 50 States have a *Program*, which, if you would like to keep your parent(s) with you, living in your home....but the *Reason* why you cannot is because it does take Both
of you working, in order to provide financially for the needs of your own immediate family members, already within your present household! This *Program* that all 50 States has, addresses and solves this directly! In NC, this State "Titles" or "Calls/Names" this particular *Program*~~~"The CAP Program" or just "CAP". However, each individual State calls their/this *Program* by a different Name of their choosing.

You, the adult child of the parent(s) with Medicaid, simply contact all of the "Home Health" Agency's in your local and immediate surrounding areas. Unless you already have a "CNA" license...you will need to find an Agency which also employs some non-CNA's for some of their eligible clients whose Doctor states in his/her paperwork, that the parent(s) does not need or require a licensed CNA. They simply need help with some basic things such as being reminded to take their meds at the right time. Help with meal preparations and cleaning up afterwards. Help with their laundry only, not the entire household's laundry. As well as with running their errands, (groceries for them, bank, bill paying, mail letters/bill payments out, picking up prescriptions and taking them to their doctor appointments, etc.). Medicaid's Main Requirement for the elderly person who's needing the home health care, is that the elderly person needs assistance "Bathing"! This can be in the form of simply a daily "touch-up sponge bath." Or, just helping them into and out of the tub/shower.

To *Expedite* this, find a Primary Care Dr. near you and set up a new patient appointment for your parent(s) for the very first day they arrive there with you, or the very next day. Let the doctor know that you are wanting to get their Medicaid to pay for Home Health in the home. Ask the doctor if he can justify as many *hours* as he or she possibly can approve them for!!! And to be sure to state that they WILL need help DAILY with at least a "sponge bath!" (The most hours that NC did back when we took care of my mom living in our home for 10 years, was for 36 hours! We moved for my husband to get work, to Ohio for 2 1/2 yrs. and the most amount of hours at that time Ohio Medicaid would approve for was for just 20 hrs.)!!! So I simply picked up one additional client that was really easy for those additional 15 hours or so. We'd play cards, games, I'd read to her and we'd do gardening. So I didn't really mind, it gave me a nice break to be able to get out of the house for awhile each week! Medicaid pays the Home Health Agency and the Home Health Agency pays you.

Wrap-Up......IF.....your parent(s) has Medicaid......
1) Check with your local Dept. of Social Services Medicaid Worker, to ask what your particular State calls their Medicaid Program that pays **A Family Member** for in Home Health Care for helping them to do "Basic Daily Care Needs?"
2) Get your parents *Contact Info* of their Current Medicaid Worker, in the State they live in now.
3) Get your parents *Contact Info* of their Current Primary Care Dr., in the State they live now, (including Fax # of both the doctor and their Medicaid Worker)!
4) Contact Medicaid Worker in the State you reside and let him/her know of your plans to move parent(s) to your City, State and you need info., of what all you need to do to help ensure the transfer of their Medicaid goes through without any "lapses in coverage".
5) Schedule a *New Patient(s)" appointment with the Primary Care doctor of your choice for either the same day as arrival or that very next day!
6) At Medicaid worker appointment, give that worker all contact info of parent(s) Medicaid worker in the State they are moving out of. Ask what name of Medicaid Home Health Basic Daily Living help is called?
7) At new Doctor's appointment, give him the contact info of their doctor in the State they moved and sign a release form to send records to this new doctor.
a) Emphasize you need as many hours close to *Maximum allowed hours* for your State.
b) That the Most Important Need you need him/her to sign off on is for needing help with "Bathing/Sponge Bath's"!!!

Sure hope that this info., is useful to someone out there and their parent(s), grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, etc. family member of yours!!!

Oh, BTW.....my mom passed away in her sleep one morning.....She was 92 yrs. old.

Tirtzah
 

Denim Deb

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I've always wanted to have enough property that I could have a small house, or rooms on my house for either my parents or my hubby's mom. That's never happened.
 

Mini Horses

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Every time I go to see my mom, I come back with a vengeance to continue eat right and stay active!! As I read all the things "they" have decided were issues that contributed to a persons health issues I can see them in my own mother's life. And have preached that all these chemicals have created much of the nation's people health issues.

I am thankful for my little farm, fresh raw milk, happy chickens, friendly pigs, their need for my care that keeps me getting up & working every day!! Yes, I get tired some days & sore -- take an Alleve and move on! Am looking forward to a garden again.
 
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frustratedearthmother

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Thanks for the info Tirtzah - it is much appreciated! Sorry for the loss of your mom.

I have heard about that and my brother was considering it before my folks and him became estranged.

I'm with you MH on eating healthy and physically challenging the body.

DH and I try out best to stay far, far away from non-organic food. We raise our own chickens, eat the occasional goat and still have a little bit of pig in the freezer. I don't microwave anything in plastic and rarely store food in anything but glass. We drink raw milk, free-range eggs and our veggies are either home-grown or organic. About the worst we do is have a meal on the road when we're traveling...and if so...you can't hardly keep me away from an onion ring, lol. But, all in all, we do our best to eat clean.

Those 50 lb feed sacks and bales of hay aren't getting any lighter - but I refuse to give up on my animals yet, so I still tote 'em and lift 'em and all other things that have to be done. I've stated publicly more than once that I won't give up my animals until I can no longer lift those bags....so I practice, a lot, lol! Unloaded 9 of them today, but still need to go back to the feed mill next week and pick up some more. We've been re-arranging some things between the two barns so I wanted to wait until all the moves were done before getting all the other feed that I need.

And who isn't rummaging through seed catalogs on these wet dreary days? I can't stop myself! I've got a lot of dog-eared pages going on. I still need to get online and see what Heirloom Seeds and some other of my faves have new this year. I'm thinking about planting some sugar snap peas and just crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. I have plenty of seeds so I've got some to spare if worse comes to worst.

I got the little stinking chickens out of the house and into the 'interim' chicken house. They are housed with some 'teenager' chickens from the last hatch. I've got the little ones in a wire cage inside the house with a lamp. The others can come and go and can't reach the food and water of the little ones, so I think this will work. I've got 'em all locked in tonight because of the horrible blustery day.

Oh! Gracie caught another rat today - she's really getting to be a champ. I remember when she caught her first one - it took her at least 15 minutes to kill it. Now she dispatches them in mere seconds...she is a very efficient killer.

It's been a blustery, blustery day and my Houston Texans lost in the first round of the play-offs...ugh. I'm thinking that if the wind dies down it might be a good evening for some wine and hot tub time!
 
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frustratedearthmother

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Wet, cloudy, foggy... ugh.

I'm trying to keep the electric bill down so I click off the breaker on the hot tub during the week. I also bought some LED lights and put them in the chicken pens where the lights often stay on 24/7. I intended to only keep those lights on at night, but sometimes I don't get outside in the mornings to turn them off. Blame my lazy self that insists on sleeping in past 4:45 in the mornings.

Ongoing issues with the parents. Mom had a CT scan the other day for some major pain in her abdomen. They found a 'nodule' on her liver - but said it's non cancerous. It is one of those things that may go away on it's own or if not, might need surgery. She says it's already feeling better...

I'm going to the parental unit's town tomorrow to get the POA papers on both of them if the lawyers office has them ready. Also have to pick up their documentation on tax information so we can get that filed and out of the way. Another stop at the eye doc to get dad's glasses fixed...

Still haven't found the 'perfect' solution for them. They truly don't want to move so we're going to try and keep them in their home, with help, for as long as possible. Makes life harder for me to drive an hour + every time they need me, but it's better for them so I'll do it as long as I can.

In the interim, I've been looking for backyard solutions. Mom admitted to me that they've wondered if there would be a way to get living quarters for them on my property. I've investigated some really nice RV's; Granny Pods and modular housing. There are some really nice manufactured homes that are small, economical and really nice. Prices are anywhere from 25K to 40K'ish. I don't think it's anything we'll do quickly - but it may be an option. DH is an RN and with his current temporary job status he might be available for their care at some point. He's working a well paying gig right now, but it's temporary so ya never know what may happen in the future.

Pregnant goats are looking pregnant-er! Exciting! Can't wait for the babies...but it means picking who will stay and who needs to go. Not a favorite choice. I've got Nigerian's in the mix now so it makes the decisions more complicated. Oh well - I love the challenge!!

Browsing seed catalogs lately too. Loving the possibilities and thinking about starting seeds soon. How cool is that? Spring will happen... it always does, right?

Happy Thursday, ya'll!
 

Denim Deb

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I've never grown them, but I found myself thinking about growing scarlet runner beans on my chicken pen this year for shade as well as to attract humming birds. If they leave any, I'll eat them.
 
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