Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[tortoise]

Heartbreaking, FEM. I suppose the bright side is that his believing assisted living is necessary and having time to adjust to the idea makes it less traumatic of a change for him.

 

[sumi]

FEM, I think the place in town sounds like a better option for them, not least because it's close to you, so you can pop in frequently to see them and make sure they are o.k. It's a big decision and transition and a sad time, but it's for the best now.

I hope the doc will give you an injection for your shoulder so you can get to feel better!

 

[Mini Horses]

Hard but necessary decision...at least your dad is with your mom & can offer some assurance that they are fine. Do it while he can still do that for both of them as the transition will be smoother -- in case you are not in a mindset to remember what you already know.

These facilities are truly geared to giving the care that you describe. At mom's, they had aids and nurses all over their area who kept them socializing, to bathrooms, showered and all those things. Aids are assigned a few and they are the primary "doer" for the personal care, then in general all were assisted at "time of need" by anyone. There were drinks, meals, snacks, at given times. Staff at night to help any who wandered, were awake, etc. I believe you will be comfortable with the situation after the initial adjustment for your parents AND YOU. Clothes will need their names in them (something you are NOT thinking about, some will be misplaced, no stash of jewelry, etc., yes, limited for obvious reasons). They do add extra for some care -- incontenance was one but, it included the diapers, etc. So, really ok.

Sit with them on paperwork before committing, ask questions, even spend a couple hrs observing the residents. It will be HARD first couple months to accept but, works out.

I'm sending HUGS -- (my newly updated computer won't let me see those things right now. LOL. Mind is whirling with all the new things on here and finding those that are MIA.)

 

[frustratedearthmother]

@Mini Horses - congrats on the new computer!

I do know that this will be a rough time for us all - but truly the best resolution for a bad situation. They are on the waiting list for the place in town. I will be calling them this morning. Last night instilled in me, more than any other time, that they simply need more than I can give them. I have to sleep - mom apparently does not.

Got up this morning to the evidence of mayhem in the kitchen. There was a V-8 Splash juice can that apparently she couldn't open correctly. The pull tab was simply broken off - not really opened - but there was a tiny gap where the tab had broken. The can was half empty, but not sure the contents ever made it to her mouth judging by the amount on the counter and floor. A bottle of gummy vitamin C was opened and at least a dozen or more vitamins were gone. I know because it was getting close to the bottom of the bottle and was easy enough to tell that a lot were missing. Not sure how she got that opened because it does have a tamper proof lid. Covers were pulled off of some dishes of left-overs in the fridge. And, horror of horrors, I had a pan of bacon grease on the stove that I had put some stale bread in to feed the dogs this morning....and the bread was gone. I can only assume she ate it... I'm going to try to leave work early today to go home and re-arrange my kitchen. The meds that are just sitting in a cabinet will be moved to a totally different location. I will start leaving little snacks out at night where she can find, and easily access them. I wish I could turn off the stove, but can't reach the plug without pulling the stove totally out. I think the stove and fridge are both on the same breaker but I need to check.

Several mornings the downstairs bathroom toilet has been plugged because she puts crazy amounts of paper in there. I have a fear of her flooding the house or burning it down or that I'll wake up to a blood covered floor (and them) because they've broken something during the night and stepped on the glass.

Enough of that!

Big storm last night - lightening, thunder and several inches of wet stuff. I think it's supposed to do it again tomorrow. Another reason to leave work early today - I need to move a butt-load of hay up to the garden area and have it ready to cover plants if it gets really cold. Also need to re-tarp the buck shelter and put a hay feeder inside of it for them. I think we're headed for low 30's a couple nights from now. Winter maybe?

 

[NH Homesteader]

Oh dear, that's frightening. I hope the wait list isn't too terribly long.

 

[sumi]

FEM big You've done your best for them, but it sounds like they need someone 24/7 now and that you simply cannot do. You'll burn out. I hope the waiting list is not too long and they can take them in soon so you can rest easy knowing they are in safe, capable hands.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

It definitely is time. My sweet caregiver has offered to stay overnight so I can spend some time with my daughter and grandkids some weekend - but I can't see leaving her alone with them. She can't get dad up if he falls - and she has to sleep too!

It's a little shameful I guess, but DH and I have started saying things like...."as soon as they're moved we can go to the movies" or "maybe we can actually have a date night" or ... "we can plan a vacation to Ireland."

 

[sumi]

Vacation in Ireland sounds good! It's not shameful to think that way. They have been with you for a while now and you have gone out of your way to accommodate them and fit them into your home and life with VERY short notice, which was a huge thing to do. I know they are your parents, but it was really amazingly kind of you to do that while you have so much on your plate already with DH's eye problems, your job, the goats and everything else… You deserve a very nice vacation And if you guys do come here, you are more than welcome to come visit me, I'll put you up for a night or three.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

You are the bomb, @sumi! I hope we can make a vacay happen... I very much want to!

 

[sumi]

You are the bomb, @sumi! I hope we can make a vacay happen... I very much want to!

You are more than welcome