Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[NH Homesteader]

Oh gosh, I finally got the Freckles picture to load. He is adorable!!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

He is! Hope he continues to do well.

 

[Mini Horses]

A cute little BYM!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Spent a few hours with dad today - he was a little more alert than yesterday but ….

DH and I had lunch at a burger place owned by a guy who also owns a top rung steak house in the area. The burger's were fantabulous! I had a wagyu beef burger that was knock your socks of delish! DH had a double meat something or other - and we shared the best onion rings I've ever had!

Came home and I butchered a couple more quail while DH offed the last meaty hen. I did the quail while the hen was hanging, then I snagged the breast meat and legs/thighs off of her. Also opened her up to harvest the gizzard, heart and liver for DH. He loves him some guts!

Tried to take a nap but I rarely can sleep when the sun is up...

Not much else going on. Will go back and spend time with dad again tomorrow.

 

[NH Homesteader]

Glad you got that meatie gone! And some quail. How are things going for your quail these days anyway? I mean not those particular ones... lol!

Glad you've been able to get over to see your dad. Is he up and out of bed? Hugs to you, it's a lot... In a really short period of time.

 

[baymule]

I am staring at the screen trying to think of something to say to you about your Dad. I got nothing. Just hugs.

 

[NH Homesteader]

I was doing the same. I don't even know what to say. It all comes out sounding lame, sometimes there are no words.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Glad you got that meatie gone! And some quail. How are things going for your quail these days anyway? I mean not those particular ones... lol!

Glad you've been able to get over to see your dad. Is he up and out of bed? Hugs to you, it's a lot... In a really short period of time.

I'm glad to get some of the quail gone too. We've had 4 pens that had to be cared for - and DH is the designated quail guy - at his request. But, it's a lot for him to do after work so I wanted to reduce. I'm probably gonna do a few more tomorrow so that we get down to two pens - which will basically be 10 - 12 birds total. We can always hatch more when we finish up what we've got in the freezer because the turn around on them is pretty quick.

Dad hasn't been out of bed since Thursday. Hospice wants all his meds (except comfort meds) removed. I don't object to that, but they also gave notice to stop food and water. I over-rode that today. If the man asks for a fricking drink of water or an Ensure or even some mashed potatoes - he better get it. As long as he can ask for it and swallow it without choking I'm not authorizing withdrawal. He still has a certain amount of awareness and I'm not willing for him to think we're "ok" with him being starved or dehydrated.

He has significant pain in his legs and even worse they are contracted and he can't straighten them. He gets cramps in the muscles because of it. It truly is the saddest thing I've ever witnessed and it's even worse knowing there's nothing I can do to help him. Morphine...that's about all there is.

I have debated on not posting about dad, cuz it's enough that it brings me grief. I've been concerned that it's bringing other people (ya'll) into it that don't deserve to be saddled with it. But, one of the reasons I started this journal was so I can look back and re-think certain situations in my life. I find that it helps me deal with stuff if I can re-hash them a few times. Ya'll are never obligated to respond to that...feel free to skip right over and comment on goats, quail, and anything else if you'd rather. I know how hard it is to find words - because most of the time there simply aren't any. Nothing is going to change the path that dad is on.

 

[Mini Horses]

Can they give him something for relaxing the muscles? I would guess they were concerned about his choking with possible muscle spasm in his esophagus. So what did they suggest for food & hydration? A tube? Often that is what they use as a temp solution. Sometimes an IV if shorter term to resolve problem is what they need. I'm assuming they will try to decide why it's happening. Prayers for you all. I know it's frustrating and heartbreaking.

OK then -- bet you made quick work of those little quail! You might want to chop some wood somewhere....get some stress relief...hoe in the garden, whup up on the weeds!

Then, go hug a dog or two and a couple goats.

 

[sumi]

FEM, we don't mind listening and we care about you I think of your patents often, your mom when she was with us still and now your dad. And especially YOU, sending hugs.