HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

[Farmfresh]

It seems we often celebrate the woman and the honorable mother in these days, but in my opinion a good FATHER is a critical link. I did not have a good strong father. My bio-father was not around and my adoptive Dad was not interested. Other people experience life with males that are FAR from being a good FATHER. Many people end up being raised without a good father to learn from these days.

FATHERS teach kids things a mother never can. They can teach BY EXAMPLE how a man should be a man.
FATHERS are IMPORTANT. I would have never learned this lesson at all without watching MY hubby raise his children. My hubby is one of those rare individuals who would be called a good FATHER. Involved, gentle, loving, wise and strong. His children ALL honor and love him. I admire him.

I know there are a LOT of women on this forum, but there are also some really good men out there. Some of you directly participate on this forum and others are just the "good man" behind the hard workin' woman. Reading the posts here I can tell how many of you there are. Supporting us in our projects, comforting us when we have failures, aiding and abetting us in our obsessions and just generally being WONDERFUL men and FATHERS. Sure we gripe about you sometimes, we just gotta do that, but we DO LOVE you all!

Here is just a small thread where we each can tell about OUR good man. OUR GREAT FATHERS and wish them a Very Happy FATHERS DAY!

You all deserve it.

So tell us about YOUR good man.

 

[Mackay]

Thanks for the reminder.... since the kids are gone I forget.
They have a great dad!

 

[hwillm1977]

My father is the best one out there (IMO ).

He and my mother created a happy, loving family home to grow up in... we were poor, but in all my formative years I don't remember really wanting for anything. The entire house was always happy, laughing, encouraging, compassionate and loving.

My dad has been there through my entire life, every single time I've called with a problem I know that my dad will know how to fix it, or will be my shoulder to cry on if he can't.

He taught me that I can be anything I want to be... whether I wanted to be a mechanic or a doctor, he didn't care and always encouraged me to follow my dreams.

Doctors told dad that he had 6 months to live, 17 years ago. He told them they could go to hell... and he's still here. He's also taught us to live in the moment, to not wait for 'someday', but to live for right now.

I am the person I am today because of the wonderful parents and family that I grew up in, and I'm glad for that.

I am his 'daddy's girl', and I love him with all my heart.

Happy Father's Day!

 

[tortoise]

My SO is an amazing daddy to my son. I didn't realize how much of a hole being a single mom left in my little guy's life until this summer.

SO is so patient teaching DS about hunting and fishing. He is always looking out for DS - from teaching him to be independent to helping him make good eating habits.

I love how DS copies SO and wants to be just like him!

They're off to Dairy Queen for a free Father's Day sundae.

 

[Ldychef2k]

Father's Day is a very uncomfortable day for me. My dad was and is abusive, although at 84 not so much physically any more. He is a bully, has a hair trigger, and says some of the most hateful things you can imagine. Since he can't lash out physically any more, he does it verbally. He is a profound racist, uses the N word liberally, and spews a whole lot of hate. I have no respect for him at all. I remember one time in my life that he said he loved me, and that was after I lost weight. Today, he calls me an "ugly bloated tomato". So, while I participate in the activities with the family, I do not do it to honor my father.

Rather...and this is recent...I honor my SIL. This is a man whom all fathers should aim to be. He is quiet, humble, a man of God, and a stabilizing, calming force to everying he meets. He is a chaplain both in his job and with the police force. He has an earned doctorate, yet would give it up in a heartbeat if he could spend his life doing landscaping and mowing lawns for people in need. He has been around the world quietly doing mission work. He pays attention to things, such as the leaves accumulating on my parents' roof, and just shows up, cleans them off, and quitely departs.

He has eagerly taken on my daughter and the two girls and has been raising them to be the people they were created to be. As you have heard, he is a quiet man, and all three of my girls have ADD, the youngest with extraordinary hyperactivity.

Proof of hyperactivity: http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v470/Ldychef2k/?action=view&current=DSCF2849.flv

With all the delays with my roof replacement, he has volunteered to work with the laborers when and if they ever get started, in order to get the job done more quickly.

But most of all, he adores and cherishes my daughter. After all she went through in her first marriage, he is a gift from God, a healing balm on her wounded heart. He vowed at their wedding to do something every day of their lives together to remind her that she is loved. And he has kept that vow to this day: A chocolate under her pillow, a card, doing the dishes when she is tired, watching the kids when she has a class (earning her Masters), encouraging her when she is about to give up.

This is God's man in all of our lives. Knowing him reminds us all that we are loved.

 

[Mackay]

Father's Day is a very uncomfortable day for me. My dad was and is abusive, although at 84 not so much physically any more. He is a bully, has a hair trigger, and says some of the most hateful things you can imagine. Since he can't lash out physically any more, he does it verbally. He is a profound racist, uses the N word liberally, and spews a whole lot of hate. I have no respect for him at all. I remember one time in my life that he said he loved me, and that was after I lost weight. Today, he calls me an "ugly bloated tomato". So, while I participate in the activities with the family, I do not do it to honor my father.

I had a similar experience Ldychef. Although my dad does not sound as brutal as yours, I remember him taking my brother down to the cellar and whipping him with a leather belt more times than I can remember. I truly feared him and longed for his love. I escaped my ill fate at 13 when he died. I don't ever recall him telling me that he loved me under any circumstances. From him I learned exactly what a father should not be and because of it I found the best for my kids and before I got married I examined my husbands family, his dad, his brothers, with a microscope and now when the time comes I can see that our boys will be terrific dads too cause they had good role models all the way around..

Its up to us womem to make sure our kids have good men around.

 

[Farmfresh]

I think that those of use who did NOT have a good Father sometimes forget what a good FATHER is and can do for a child. It is also a problem when all of the memories brought on by the word "father" are bad ones. It gets in the way our whole lives and even makes it hard to get close to our Heavenly Father.

I wish those kind of males, who were never really true fathers, could be given a new title altogether. Maybe THAT would help us identify a real father from those biological donors out there. Donors that often had no real father to learn from either.

Hubby always helps to remind me. Sometimes I talk about my bio donor male whom I met for the first time when I was 33. I say "my real father". Hubby quickly corrects me - that man was NO FATHER. At least my adoptive dad was around, kept a job and never beat me... him I call Dad. For that matter my Mom was no MOTHER either.

Thank God we are capable of making choices and doing better things with our lives and families that we experienced as kids. Thank God SOME of us really had good FATHERS and there some are really good men still out there.

Let's be thankful and truly celebrate those REAL FATHER'S out there today.

 

[VickiLynn]

My dad wasn't around when I was growing up. I was told he didn't care about me and I was better off without him. I just reconnected with him about five years ago, and discovered not everything I had been told was true. We have visited each other (Wisconsin/Florida) and called and emailed. Gradually, the relationship developed and old wounds were healing until, last summer, on his way to the airport after a visit with me, he died in an accident. So many things I wanted to talk to him about - ask him about. I always thought we'd have more time.

 

[VickiLynn]

Its up to us women to make sure our kids have good men around.

I love this line!!!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

There's not much I can tell you about my Dad. I only remember having seen him 2 times my whole life. First time, I was 6. He took my brother and me to Chuck E. Cheese. We only had a day with him, as he was a trucker and stopped to see us on his way through.

My mom hated my dad and moved several states away from him. She never put a lot of effort forth for us to have contact with him or know him.

Saw him again when I was 9. He came to visit with his new wife and their two kids (my half siblings). I begged to go home with him. He convinced mom to let us spend the summer with him. Dad kept us 6 months instead of three, and was trying to get custody (things weren't always great living with mom) but mom came down in November and had my step mom arrested for kidnapping.

Never saw my dad again. He was killed in a car wreck when I was 20 years old, and my DD was 10 months old. He never knew he was a Grandpa.

Dad wasn't perfect either. We watched him beat the crap out of my step mom on the 4th of July. Never saw him lay another hand on him, but once was one too many.

The 5 years before his death, my step mom kept asking for a divorce. He kept telling her she could leave, but he wouldn't let her leave AND take their kids because he wasn't going to lose a second set of kids and not see them grow up.

When I was 14, I said when I married, I'd work hard to make it forever. My kids would all have the same dad. There would be NO step parents, no step or half siblings. There WOULD be 2 loving parents and a whole mess of WHOLE siblings.

So far, we're doing well. I couldn't ask for a better man than the one I have and my kids know nothing about the pain caused from broken families.