haters?

[FarmerD]

im just curious what everyone else experience with family/friends/friendly strangers has been when you talk about the crazy stuff you're doing or plan to do. im in the south, so its a cultural norm to want to move out onto some acreage in the country, but when you start talking details it gets hairy. i catch grief from the least likely people when i talk of doing things for sustainable reasons or that im investigating a certain kind of cow.

for example (and this is one of many i could share concerning my dad) ...... my dad got visibly angry when i told him that the wife and i went upstate to look at dexter cattle for the farm. he thought we should get jerseys, and that was that. by the time i go look at anything for our farm, ive devoured any and every resource i can find on the subject. so i have good reason to go see this cow or that one and not this one. he would hear none of it! same goes for chickens..... or why am i not raising trophy deer for the rich hunters? its crazy. in fact, neither him nor my mom have been out since. its like im disowned because i dont want to recreate the homestead of his past.

but its not just him. my mother-in-law is the same. normally she is the sweetest most supportive person i know, but i know she's still upset we arent after goats. she had her heart set on giving us our first goats, and now weve crushed her dream i guess.

not to mention, my dad was crushed when i wouldnt open up the land for him and his friends to freely hunt.

i could go on and on. just curious if anyone else experienced this?

 

[frustratedearthmother]

In my case it's not so much that they are upset with WHAT I'm doing because no one in my family has enough experience to tell me otherwise. Except that one person who wanted to tell me he knew how to train a horse and he's never owned or spent time with a horse in his life. Geeze....

What they do object to is the time that I devote to it. I will freely admit that I've missed a family gathering occasionally because I need to be here for a kidding or an ill animal.

But - they never turn down fresh eggs or milk!

 

[sumi]

FarmerD, welcome to the forum! I am surprised by your post. I have thankfully never experienced even remotely like that… (but then I don't care for or ask relatives' opinions on what I do or plan to do).

The way I see it, it's your farm. You are doing this for you and your wife (and family?) Do what makes you happy Enjoy your farm!

 

[FarmerD]

Yeah the whole thing amuses me. It's like a running joke especially around holiday time. I guess in this community, anyone that thinks of a farm as anything except a big corn or cotton field is just a hippie..... The kind with dreds, earth names, and guitars. Now I keep my mouth shut unless i get probed, and then i give out minimal info. i usually find that most people are just feigning interest anyhow. i fully expected the off hand stuff like "as soon as you get that pond dug and stocked, let me know and ill come help you fish it"

any of you guys and gals that have bought raw ag land will know how difficult and expensive it is to find and finance. you would think people close to you that witness all this would understand that your plans might not included their plans. but in my case you'd be wrong. i was all excited when we finally closed. i called my dad to let him know. within a week, he was beating my door down to let him and his hunting buddies "come help". i know my dad, and i knew that offer came with strings attached. i tried repeatedly to lay out what we wanted to do, and how turning my place into his personal hunting club was going to work out for me. he didnt give up. after a while i relented and his buddy and he showed up one saturday with a bush hog to "help". they spent the morning mowing paths to places they wanted to put hunting stands and what not and left. for the next month or so he kept after me about letting them hunt, which i was against. its not that im against hunting, but if i turn them loose, i know ill have hunting blinds and golf cart/4wheeler paths everywhere..... not to mention ill never be able to stop it. this situation caused me much personal anguish. i regretted even telling him that i had the land and that i wanted to farm. i guess at some point he figured out i wasnt going to give in and gave up. now i never hear from him nor see him unless its xmas/easter/mothers day/thanksgiving. it was at a subsequent holiday afternoon where he nearly exploded over the cow thing. needless to say its a strained relationship. fortunately i really dont care. i have reasons for the things i want to do, and while i dont mind outside suggestions, i guarantee ive done more research than the peeps making the suggestions.

the one that surprised me was the mother-in-law goat thing. she's always interested in what we are doing and what the next thing is. she soaks up talks about hollistic management, permaculture, biodynamics, etc. but for some reason, she has this thing for goats, so i guess we should too. i know when we get our first bred heifer that she will be smitten..... especially when that first calf comes. but for now, i can feel the tension anytime cows or goats come up.

the whole thing is insane. i catch crap about my natural building stuff..... aka the "dirt house" with its dirt plaster and dirt floors. the solar power thing is a problem for my brother-in-law that works at the nuclear plant. the composting toilet is a problem for everyone. my step father-in-law gets ill if i rent earth moving equip and dont borrow his 10,000 hour backhoe that leaks hydraulic fluid faster than it burns Diesel. he would also expect me to pay for repairs if it dies while im in the operators seat..... like buying the worst lottery ticket ever. i could go on and on. i cant believe you guys dont have people like this around! maybe i am a hippie and just dont realize that everyone is trying to help save me from the crazy hippie mistakes that hippies make...... maybe i need to grow some dreds and learn to play the guitar. oh!, and i need a "earth" name too. maybe "dirty sanchez"???

 

[FarmerD]

i may have come across as anti-hippie above. i hope noone is offended. round these parts, anyone that does that small farm stuff like you see on nat geo is a hippie

 

[frustratedearthmother]

As a former hippie and a person with an "earth" name let me be the first to say that I am NOT offended, lol. Part of our hippie badge of honor was to live and let live, lol. In fact my experience with hippie-ness was a defining part of my life.

It was the hippie faction in my high school that founded an ecology club. It is in part because of that portion of my past that I became an 'earth lover'. It fostered my desire to raise animals with respect and thankfulness for the sacrifice of their life for my hunger. It is also in part responsible for the earth-sparing organic gardening that I practice. It also crops up in my desire to pollute less and pick up litter on the side of the road and makes me just a little envious of your earth housing endeavors, your compost toilet and your solar power.

Maybe I should get a little more in touch with my hippie roots! By the way, the folks in my hippie circle of friends did not wear dreds and I can't play a guitar at all, lol!

Peace, bro!

 

[FarmerD]

thanks for the vote of confidence. i could do the hippie thing if it werent for all that pacifism stuff

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Perception is different for all folks. Several of my "hippie" friends went to Vietnam and one dear friend did not come home. My own brother went and while he did return - he was a changed man. I try to let a person's actions speak for themselves and to stay away from categorizing folks if I don't know them personally.

The definition of pacifism is simply an opposition to war and violence. If that's wrong, then take your gun and go ahead and shoot me now.

By the way, I do own guns, and am opposed to gun control. Guess that makes me a gun-toting radical? After all, isn't every gun owner a contributor to the violence and senseless mayhem that guns bring about????? Or is it that guns don't kill - people do?

Still not offended by the posts, but I do enjoy raising questions.

Peace!

 

[wyoDreamer]

DH and I jsut bought 25 acres of farmstead, including 8 sheds. My family can't imagine what we would want all that for. I mentioned raising a beef or two, possibly for sharing and not one nibble from anyone.
I had a couple of friends who can't imagine doing our own gardening, or raising beef ... the most often adivce offered is that chickens are expensive, dirty and alot of work.

 

[Plantress]

Both my husband and my family have no idea of the work that goes into keeping our house from crumbling and our tiny amount of land and garden maintained.
They love to be drop in leaf peepers and such but don't understand that we have to chop up those leaves, mow the field, weed the garden etc etc