Help a sister out, please! (Operation~Find Sam a Friend!)

[savingdogs]

Well, it sounds like she needs more than just a party in order to have friends.

Can you start some sort of ongoing thing? These girls all love horses, can they get involved in a group horse event? Locally, there are a lot of things like that for young girls to do, you should see how many groups march in the local parade. It must take them weeks just to get ready for that.

Some things might cost money to participate and might be expensive, but what about starting a horse club of some sort? When I was that age, that was about all I thought about. Maybe you could get some other parents together and take turns hosting some sort of "horse" event, like meeting at a local horse show one week, offering to wash the horses at the stables and/or working to spruce up the stables/volunteering at a local horse rescue/or just having the kids visit different houses with horses and do the different things available to do at different farms, such as the "creek camping" at your house. Maybe someone has a wagon for a hay ride in the fall, or even do things to research making treats for the horses at the stables if the families don't have other resources at home.

Maybe as a "horse" person you can think of more related things, but I'd put together some ideas and pass them out to the other parents, so you can all get to know one another. You could create some sort of group waiver for everyone to sign, and try to be just the "organizer" and not the person in charge forever. I don't know what classes your daughter is taking, but perhaps you could even meet at the home of an expert in that field of riding for an informative talk, or attend an event together, or something else to get the ball rolling initially.

 

[Wannabefree]

DD14 says she likes to eat, shop, eat, swim, eat, camp, and eat. Didja get that these kids would like to eat? I'm thinking pizza party and s'mores around a campfire with the option of outdoor camping, and then just wing it from there. It'd be much easier if these were her friends already and she knew some things they liked to do, but this being the case, DD says "if you buy pizza, they will come!" She's a country girl too, so that's her perspective Hope it helps!

 

[BeccaOH]

I like savingdogs' idea of a starting a club. It does sound like your DD needs some on-going contact in order to feel relaxed and part of the group. The shared horse interest is a great thing to build on.

As for just a party - a scavenger hunt is a great idea and makes the kids work together (so they get to know each other better).

 

[miss_thenorth]

DD14 says she likes to eat, shop, eat, swim, eat, camp, and eat. Didja get that these kids would like to eat? I'm thinking pizza party and s'mores around a campfire with the option of outdoor camping, and then just wing it from there. It'd be much easier if these were her friends already and she knew some things they liked to do, but this being the case, DD says "if you buy pizza, they will come!" She's a country girl too, so that's her perspective Hope it helps!

Ditto to htis. My dd is 13. bon fire, lotsa junk food, tunes blaring, and maybe a scary movie, (zombie preferrably) as an option in the house. Nail polish is a big hit too. Don't forget th glo sticks, and don't be freaked if they break them and splatter them all over their clothes. It looks cool and doesn't affect their (the clothes') longevity. Beach is good, make sure you have batteries for the radio, and more junk food. Oh, and don't espect them to get any sleep. have fun--teens are worht it!!!!!

 

[FarmerDenise]

When DD was a teen, we used to have backyard camp-outs all the time. The tent went up early summer vacation and stayed up all summer. Other than provide food, I really didn't have to do much. DD had just a few special friends, but eventually the group got bigger and I started calling them my "gaggle of girls".
Oh at night, I made a point of telling them to hush and go to sleep. I found it made them whisper and giggle more = more fun
I did stick with more or less healthy foods, but made sure to do a nice presentation.
I never went out of my way to do special games, but I did make games available.
Since your DD doesn't already have any close friends, I do think a few games would be a good idea, to help them get aquainted.

I like the nailpolish idea. Even tomboys like to put on nail polish once in a while.

 

[Beekissed]

I like the idea of setting up a mani-pedi-hairdo (have different gels, curlers, temporary colors on hand) party with an appropriate young chick flick to watch afterwards...with the make yer own style pizza as a kicker. Then I'd get ideas for further such gatherings from the girls themselves. I'd also check with your local hospice and start a teen version of "Horses for Hospice" ride....our area does one every year and folks like buying in to benefit something nice when they ride.

 

[garden pixy]

When I was that age i was shy. The farm I rode at had a 4h club and joining that club was the best thing my mom ever made me do, lol. Check with your local extention for an existing club or maybe look into starting your own based at the riding stable. Horses are a wonderful thing to bond friendships over and keep kids out of trouble.

 

[big brown horse]

OMG you guys are great! Thank you for such wonderful ideas!!

WBF, too funny, thank you so much! I will have food for sure, oodles of it!

Sam (my dd) and I were brainstorming at lunch today and we came up with twister (my idea) and putting on eachother's make up wearing a blindfold on (her idea). I think I'll get some dollar store nail polish and make up just for this event.

The riding lessons are just so she can be part of this group of girls, I don't care if she is ever a great rider or not . We were going to start her last summer, then she got sick. Before that we were dead broke and in survival mode. She did make a few friends, one moved and one was just plain mean to her.

These girls are really nice, of all ages and sizes. The owner of the stables also does 4-h things with the girls, ie meetings there etc. This weekend is a benefit/money maker for the group, they are serving coffee, doughnuts, hot dogs etc. from 7-4. They will be working together in a booth.

Hopefully the party will be an ice breaker and we can go on from there.

 

[FarmerChick]

pass out invitations and have fun....just a 'get to know you' type thing and all those ideas listed are good.
just to get her into the group....so then the fun with friends can begin. you gotta start somewhere...lol

 

[freemotion]

Are these lessons English? How about a "fox hunt" (on foot, you can drop clues ahead of time that they can hunt for with a prize at the end)? And certainly an English tea would be appropriate! When I was around that age there was a lady I would bike to and visit her horses. She gave me cool things like old tack catalogs that I memorized. One day she brought me to her friend's house (also horsey) for tea. We had tea, watercress sandwiches, and Lorna Doons. I was in heaven!

I was NEVER a "girly-girl" either!