How do you know if you are spoiling your kids to much?

[Quail_Antwerp]

Just wondering, because we caved and told our daughter she could make her sizzle chick a house chicken. And I ordered frizzle eggs to hatch because she mentioned wanting a frizzle friend for her sizzle.

She takes constant care of her Chirpy. Never has to be told to feed/water him. I felt maybe she earned this right to have him in the house.

But now I am wondering if we don't coddle our kids and give them too much? What signs should I look for? I mean, I have a toddler, takes many times of telling/instructing him on what to or not to do. I know that is normal.

My kids don't throw all out tantrums when they don't get their own way, atleast not always LOL My five year old seems to.

I think the reason I am concerned is because we are having a hard time explaining to the younger ones that they can't have the same priveleges as their sister because she's older.

And at what age do you think kids are old enough to know to do their chores without being told??? We have 2 farm dogs and it is the responsibility of my daughter and oldest son to feed them everyday. My daughter has had this chore for 2 years (since she was 7) and we started making our oldest son help with it this year because he turned 7 in Feb.....but we are having to tell them everyday that the dogs need fed.

Today I asked, "Katie, why do I have to remind you the dogs need fed, but you never forget to feed your chicken?"

She said, "I don't know."

Could it be the farm dogs don't have her interest like the chicken?? Maybe I should take over feeding the dogs?

When they ask to play outside we tell them their rooms have to be clean first. Somedays they clean them up lickety split, other days, they just mope in their room and I don't let them outside.

Anyway, any advice or tips would be welcome. Opinions too lol

 

[silkiechicken]

I'm pretty rotten and don't have kids so I don't think I'd have much good advice, but ideas rather.

As for explaining why one can do something and one can't, I always over heard my parents telling my little brother he hasn't shown the responsibility yet and that once he did, he could too.

About chores, perhaps a check list they must physically check off when they get home or get up? That way they can't say they just forgot, since they'd need proof that they checked the list. Perhaps put this list on a calendar that they each check the day off on so it becomes habit? I like to put everything on a schedual since I'm a bit OCD like that. Perhaps routine clean room every monday wed friday at so and so time, so it is a pattern rather than just whenever?

 

[poppycat]

First of all you can never have too many chickens. It has nothing to do with whether your kids are spoiled or not!

If your kids have to do chores and take responsibility for animals then they are NOT spoiled.

I think "spoiling" your kids is all relative. Compared to the way my DH grew up, My kids are spoiled rotten. They get help with their school work, their mom isn't constantly being beat up in front of them, they get shoes, clothes and food when they need them.... I could go on but you get the point.

Now there is a classmate of my oldest son who's family we know who's mom drives him to school everyday because he doesn't know anyone on the bus. She packs his lunch everyday (my kids are responsible for their own.) These parents also happily pay for cell phones with unlimited data and text for each of their three kids. Again I could go on. I also know parents who have gotten a coach fired because their kids didn't "like" him. IMO that's a little spoiled.

It's a delicate balance. I think it's almost easier to take the path of giving your kids too much and not make them take any responsibility.

YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB !!!!!!

 

[PotterWatch]

I think if you are worried about your kids being spoiled... they probably aren't. The kids who are too spoiled are the ones who have parents that never even consider that they may be spoiling their kids, imo. I think if your children have responsibilities around the house, they probably aren't too spoiled. Having to remind them every day to feed the dogs is ok I think. Heck, I still have to remind mine to put on clean underwear every day, lol.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Well, thank you for the words of encouragement ya'll.

Yea, I have to tell mine to put clean underwear on everyday too.

My 3 year old is mad because we told him he has worn his last diaper. I refuse to buy him another pack because he knows to use the potty, he just refuses to. So I refuse to let him have diapers. He is wearing underwear and screamed bloody murder when he peed himself LOL Changed his underwear and he made sure he got to the potty the next time!

 

[FarmerChick]

HA HA on the potty training. Nicole is 3 1/2 and the last 2 months have been the battle also. She can do it all in the potty, but every now and then whines she wants the "convenience" of p'ing and all in her training pants. I said life is full of inconveniences..HA HA...but I bought my last pack and am forcing her into the potty...what else can we do right? Gotta steer them that way anyway.

Nah it isn't spoiling them. Each kid has a level of responsibility they can handle...if one shows more, then they can "have" more......like if the chicken is well cared for and never forgotten, etc....then a reward to the child is a good idea, like it can be in the house for a while and I think it all works for you. Life isn't created equal ever and sometimes kids just have to learn that...even if they seem like you are favoring one over the other. It isn't spoiling, it is just reacting to each situation different. Rock ON!!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Well her dad struck a deal with her. If she can keep up with her chores for the next week, without being reminded that she has to clean her room, feed her chicken, feed the dog...then after this week, Chirpy can be in the house.

So far, this is the end of day one, and she has remembered to do everything!

 

[Gravelcreekfarms]

We have a chore list posted on a bulletin board in the kitchen. There are chores that have to be done before breakfast is served and afternoon chores that have to be done before suppertime.(It's not that they won't get fed,but it might be late)
The youngest kid was four when he started feeding the cats. Since he couldn't read I had to tell him when it was his turn. The kids are older now and rotate on all the chores. They need to know how to do all the chores.
I seriously doubt your daughter is spoiled if she is taking such good care of a pet. Spoiled is begging for something doing it for a short time and then completely losing interest.
Our kids aren't perfect. I call them works in progress. The hard part is repeating yourself often and sticking to your guns when you're at a low eb. wish you the best of luck!! And really, can one have too many chickens!?!

 

[FarmerChick]

good way to strike a deal and for the child to learn responsibility! should work fine for everyone!

 

[Beekissed]

....when they are telling you what to do...and you're actually doing it! That's how you know....