frustratedearthmother
Sustainability Master
That was priceless - thanks for sharing!
mississippifarmboy said:I'm hoping no one gets offended by this... This thread just brought a saying to mind my Grandpa taught all us kids. And a story about my ex.
You have to keep in mind we were poor and never had indoor plumbing when I was growing up. We had a hand dug well for water on the back porch and an outhouse about 75' or so behind the house for... ummm.. "that". We never had toilet paper. We used the Sears & Roebuck catalog (We all got mad when they switched to glossy paper) and corn cobs. When in the woods or away from home working the fields we used leaves. You might not know which leaves worked the best, but you learned quick which ones not to use!
Anyway, for those who don't know there are two colors of field corn cobs. Red and white. When we would shell corn out of the corn crib we kept a bucket there for the cobs. About once a week or so we'd take the bucket to the outhouse and switch it with the one there so there was always a full bucket in the outhouse. Pa always told us "Use a red cob first, then use a white cob to see if you need another red cob". :/
When my ex moved in with me, the very first time we went shopping together nearly led to a divorce. We were walking along putting things in the cart and when we got to the toilet paper I pitched a couple of packs of the cheapest brand into the cart. She looked horrified and pulled them out and got a more expensive kind. She said "We can't use that kind". I thought she was crazy. We argued a bit about it because to me toilet paper is toilet paper. She finally blushed and whispered angrily at me "The cheap stuff is too rough.. it makes my butt raw". I started giggling and she got madder and madder. Then I started laughing. I laughed until I had tears running down my cheeks. It wasn't funny in a way, but in another way it was hilarious to me.
She got mad and went to the truck, I bought the expensive kind and eventually she forgave me for laughing.
All I could think at the time though was this - When you grow up using corn cobs... there IS no rough toilet paper.
Sorry, back to our regularly scheduled programming...
I often wondered where the term 'Harda$$' came from! Now I think I know. Has anyone mentioned the practice of rubbing cobs together while siting waiting for 'results' it avoids painful suprises.Icu4dzs said:mississippifarmboy said:I'm hoping no one gets offended by this... This thread just brought a saying to mind my Grandpa taught all us kids. And a story about my ex.
You have to keep in mind we were poor and never had indoor plumbing when I was growing up. We had a hand dug well for water on the back porch and an outhouse about 75' or so behind the house for... ummm.. "that". We never had toilet paper. We used the Sears & Roebuck catalog (We all got mad when they switched to glossy paper) and corn cobs. When in the woods or away from home working the fields we used leaves. You might not know which leaves worked the best, but you learned quick which ones not to use!
Anyway, for those who don't know there are two colors of field corn cobs. Red and white. When we would shell corn out of the corn crib we kept a bucket there for the cobs. About once a week or so we'd take the bucket to the outhouse and switch it with the one there so there was always a full bucket in the outhouse. Pa always told us "Use a red cob first, then use a white cob to see if you need another red cob". :/
When my ex moved in with me, the very first time we went shopping together nearly led to a divorce. We were walking along putting things in the cart and when we got to the toilet paper I pitched a couple of packs of the cheapest brand into the cart. She looked horrified and pulled them out and got a more expensive kind. She said "We can't use that kind". I thought she was crazy. We argued a bit about it because to me toilet paper is toilet paper. She finally blushed and whispered angrily at me "The cheap stuff is too rough.. it makes my butt raw". I started giggling and she got madder and madder. Then I started laughing. I laughed until I had tears running down my cheeks. It wasn't funny in a way, but in another way it was hilarious to me.
She got mad and went to the truck, I bought the expensive kind and eventually she forgave me for laughing.
All I could think at the time though was this - When you grow up using corn cobs... there IS no rough toilet paper.
Sorry, back to our regularly scheduled programming...