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frustratedearthmother

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So BF is going for a pilots license? Or did I interpret that wrong?

Yay for Storm being decent for his dentist appt, lol. I've never met a horse who loved that procedure...
 

hqueen13

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Yes, he's trying, FEM. First is private pilot, then he can start working on the commercial level, and then he has to figure out how to find a job. FIRST step is to start with ground school, which he can do online, then take the written test from the FAA, and then he can start flying. I'm really glad he's decided to commit to doing it, now we just have to work out how to fund it!

Yeah, I don't like going to the dentist, either, so I don't blame them! He's pretty good, all things considered, his size just makes it challenging. If a normal horse objected to the degree that he does, you'd hardly notice. But he's big. I'm glad he cooperates as well as he does, I appreciate that!

I got his lyme results back, too. He's showing a higher number (though not nearly as high as some horses I have seen) that indicates a new infection. Now I'm trying to sort out what to do for him. One month of Doxy costs $180.00. :oops: A retest will cost $128, plus the farm call fee, which I'll be lucky if I can split that with RW if she needs the vet out for some reason (so that would make it $27.50 instead of $55...). Since his number is a bit higher than I'd like I need to weigh the option of using minicyline (sp!??) instead of the doxy, since it is a little higher powered and has a good success rate. I might be able to get away with using less if I go that road, but we'll see. I need to check in with one more friend to see what she recommends in terms of natural options, or natural support to see what other choices there are. I guess all things considered $180 isn't that bad... it's just going to put the squeeze on my budget.

The weekend wasn't all that great, honestly. The BF was off of work all last week, which was nice, but he wasn't in the best of moods, and I wasn't either. We did get a few things taken care of, we managed to have a meeting with the financial retirement guy, and he helped us get the information organized so that the BF could get access to his prior work 401k accounts. He had 3 accounts from previous jobs, and also has one with his current company, so JC helped to get him the info to get those accounts consolidated together. He'll have over 20k in them once he gets them all together, which is really great news. He also finally looked into his current employer's 401k since he wasn't getting statements from them and found out he's already got over 14k in that account and he's only been working there for 4 years. I sent JC the info he needed to be able to consolidate the accounts, and also inquired as to whether there were any options available right now due to the panedemic to withdraw at no penalty or something so that maybe we could use some of that money to fund his pilot school instead of pulling a loan out from somewhere. I also asked about taking a loan out against the 401k instead as well, since I know that's an option that my exBF did before. Anything to save money and make it easier to pay back will help.

The weekend ended up rough because the BF and his brothers decided to help their dad out with the boat as the birthday gift to him. They went over to the marina where the boat is on Friday to help finish up what needed to be done, and worked for most of the day. He got home pretty late from that, and then Saturday got up and headed back over there again. We were all supposed to go over to his parent's house for dinner for his dad's birthday, but the afternoon wore on and they were still working. I went and did my evening chores, and spent some time brushing Coyote's tail out, since it had a rats nest in it that was the size of a softball and I couldn't leave it that way. It was really hot and humid, and by the time I got done, I needed a shower. I was also starting to get a headache, and so I came home and got cooled off and cleaned up, and decided there was no way I could go over to eat dinner with the family. I texted the BF and they were STILL working anyway, it was 6:00 by that time. I was texting with A as well, and she was equally frustrated since it was already so late, and they weren't even finished, and no one was even over at his mom's house by that time at all. She said she really didn't want to go over there for dinner at that point. Then they got the call that their uncle was going to be taken off of life support, so all 5 of them headed to the hospital to be with their cousins and family. These cousins are close to the same age as the BF (early 30's), and had already lost their mother about 10 years ago. I feel so much for them that they have now lost both parents, their mother to breast cancer, and their father to complications from chemo a few years ago that damaged his heart (and apparently heart conditions run in their dad's family). They ended up at the hospital until past midnight. I fell asleep finally, and by the time the BF got home my headache was gone, thankfully, but I didn't sleep well after that.

Sunday I got up and made breakfast, and then the BF got up before I was ready to leave for the barn. I headed out to do my chores, and came back home, and got a text from his mom asking if everyone could come up to our house so we could have cake for his dad's birthday. :duc:somad:he Apparently she had talked to W, and he mentioned he was coming up to work on the table that the BF is helping him make. So she thought it would be a great idea if they picked up A (why she didn't assume that A would come with W, I have no freaking clue), and then M and N could come, and they'd all come up here to our house, and maybe she could bring a pizza, and we could do cake for his dad. I just wrote her back and said I'm sorry, that's not going to work today. Apparently she told W and M about her idea, and THEN decided to ask me if it was ok. The BF was REALLY mad that she had decided to invite herself, and everyone else, up to our house with no notice. Why in the heck she thought it would be a great idea to celebrate his dad's birthday the day after they spent half the night at the hospital with their dying uncle, and they've just spent 2 days helping their dad to work on the boat that never got into the water like they planned, I have no clue. She's oblivious, and then had the gall to text W and be like "she said my idea wouldn't work, but she didn't say why." She doesn't understand that NO is a complete sentence, and requires no justification or validation or explanation what so ever. So I'm sure she'll be upset about that for who knows how long. And I really don't give a crap. W got to the house later in the afternoon and told us that he directly told her that she had better as the BF and I about it because it was not ok to invite herself and everyone else over to someone's house without their permission.

The good news is that the table looks AMAZING. They pulled it up off of the form, and found that for whatever reason the caulk had not sealed at all, and that more than likely when they clamped it down, that caused the board under the table to bow, which created the leak. So now they know what to do for next time. They set up a giant rig to be able to use the router to smooth the top and bottom, and started working on that. They created the biggest mess I have ever seen. At one point I came down into the basement to get something, and when I came around the corner they both turned and looked at me and had the guiltiest looks on their faces. I started laughing so hard. They made a royal mess, but they'll have to clean it up later. The end result is going to be amazing, though. And now they're talking about how they want to plan the next ones so that they can sell these and start making money off of them. I'm excited about the idea, we just have to figure out where to get the word out there so that they can get sales and start creating them. The BF could pretty easily fund a lot of his pilot school making these. I can't wait to see what it looks like all finished, which hopefully should be later this week or weekend, depending on how much time they get to work on it. The BF spent some time last night working on it some more, so hopefully they'll keep the project moving.

Not much else to report, still plugging away at all the things. I have another call with my coach today, so that should be good. I feel like I haven't made much progress at all since our last call 2 weeks ago, but things sort of went crazy in between, so that's alright. Just gotta get my stuff back together again and keep on moving.
 

frustratedearthmother

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The table sounds awesome. Would love a pic when it's finished if it's possible.

More family drama - oh dang! I can't even imagine someone inviting themselves to use my house for a party..... argh! Good for you for saying no!

Hope you get Storm's Lyme issue taken care of.
 

hqueen13

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Thanks FEM.
It's more Mom drama is what it is. Everybody else is fine, she's just crazy and thinks she needs to be involved in everything that anybody does.
My friend DR gave me a recommendation for a lyme treatment that is herbal based, so I'm going to look into that and see what I can learn.
We found out that the BF can take a loan against his company's 401k plan, up to 100% of the amount. That's just about exactly what he needs to be able to get his private pilot's license. The other good news is that he's due for a raise in the next month or so, and so hopefully the raise will off set the payments to the 401k loan. THAT would be a huge help if it works out that way! We also got the bill for the car insurance, which isn't due until the middle of October and we've got about $200 more than we need in that fund right now, and of course a month an a half until it's due. $200 is exactly what the BF needs to sign up for the ground school.
I also got a text from A yesterday, she told W about our discussion about the fact that the BF needs a headset for flying that costs $1200, and an ipad, and W checked at his work and he can get a headset for him for a fraction of the cost (dang near FREE), so it's mostly just the ipad that we have to figure out right now. I was floored, and ecstatic. Now I just have to figure out how to keep the BF from buying either one of those things with the loan money before his birthday in November... No clue how I'm going to do that, but hopefully I can work it out. I'm hoping his ground school takes longer than he thinks it will so that he won't be ready to get those other two things for a while, or his raise takes longer to kick in so that he won't have the loan yet... either way, it's going to be interesting trying to keep him from buying those things!
Had a good call with my business coach the other day. We talked about putting together a program that will be 3 months long and focus on working with energy for pet owners. We have a good start, and now I need to put together a framework for how it will run, and then I think the next step will be working on promoting it. I certainly need the extra income to make sure I can pay for whatever Storm needs for his lyme stuff!
 

hqueen13

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So the big bump in the road that I don't think I mentioned here yet is that GH and SH told me they are selling the property and moving permanently move to FL. GH doesn't want to go at all, but I've known SH hasn't wanted to be in MD anymore or own the horses anymore for several years. This is just his opportunity to do that. They have a buyer, I guess a sort of private deal since the house was never officially on the market, and the horses are a part of the deal. Of course the new folks won't travel like they do, but SH has talked me/us up (GH, too, I'm sure), and the new folks are interested in what we have to offer.
At first I was grieving majorly, and really struggling with it. Of course, the loss of the income that completely supports my business right now (all of Storm's expenses, plus the tractor payment...) was really hard to face. But the silver linings are starting to show themselves. I realized the other day that it would be useful to me to pitch to the new folks that if I bring Storm there I will help them manage the property. Since Coyote can't have grass, the fields are never grazed, so that in and of itself means that another horse wouldn't be a big deal. It would save me almost $300/month since I wouldn't be paying board, and I wouldn't necessarily have to buy hay for him the way I do now. We'd have to make some adjustments to the way things are set up (namely that the hay stall would not be a hay stall anymore, and we'd have to store hay somewhere else, but I've already thought that through a bit as well, so it wouldn't be that big of an issue). So that's an option that's out there, but I won't be able to really explore that until things are finalized and GH can give me the info for the folks that are buying the place.
Along the way, I realized that one of my big hesitations with moving Storm to a total self care situation (vs the co-op where I share chores) is that the thought of having to go care for him 7 days a week, PLUS Cowboy and Coyote was overwhelming. Now that Cowboy and Coyote won't be such a big part of my life anymore, that frees up my ability to do something different for Storm. And even if I HAD to go down to where Cowboy and Coyote live to care for Storm 7 days a week, it wouldn't be that big of a deal because it would likely only be once per day instead of the twice per day trips that I'm making currently. So, yeah, not a huge issue.
I also got in touch with my friend KE, and she's slowly getting her farm set up. She said she would gladly allow Storm field board for free in exchange for some work, which is really awesome. The question is just how far away is her farm, and how soon will she have a shed in the field so that he could be field boarded. So that iron is in the fire, too. I also haven't asked RO officially yet about moving him there, they got their additional pasture put in, but I'm still hesitant due to the pig. I don't want to have to deal with the adaptation curve of Storm and a pig together. KE's place is probably idea - I trust her with him, and she's got a nice little arena, and she also really supports my business so there would be potential for me to be able to do workshops in the future at the farm. The distance is the only question, though for a better place for Storm, and not having to work so many hours, I don't mind driving at this point. I'm so tired of having him where he is and not feeling confident that he's being cared for the way I'd like.
SO, lots of big changes coming along. I was a little frustrated in the beginning because I had JUST hired my business coach, and now all this income is getting pulled out from under me. It feels like a repeat of having to move off the farm many years ago. I'd also just hired a coach at that time as well, and it all fell apart. The difference is that now I already have next month's expenses set aside. I've got it covered, so I was just paid for September, but that money covers October's bills. That wasn't true 4 years ago when we were asked to leave the farm. My coach and I are also working on putting together a program that if I get 5 people in it will cover my bills for 3 months. That is what I really want. I need to do some number crunching, but it should be ample to keep me situated for the next 3 months, and that would make me feel SO much better. I finally feel like I have something to offer that I can get organized in a way that is worth people paying me for, as well, which is huge. So that's a really good thing.
So while there's a big bump in the road, I'm feeling better about all of that than I have before. Next step is to do a little more number crunching to make sure I know exactly what I need, and to continue working on the program that I'm going to offer so that I'm moving in the right direction and showing up and being visible so that the people that need what I have to offer can find me.
I had a lesson this weekend with KN, which was fantastic. I got there a bit early, and started working him on the long lines, and as we worked this big black cloud kept growing above the hill in his field. I checked the radar and it looked like it was going to be a close call. It had rained for most of the morning, but had cleared some, and was SO humid and sticky. I was not excited about the prospect of getting rained on, especially if it was going to thunder. I don't appreciate thunderstorms (Ironic owning a horse named Storm), and was not about to hang out in a big open field on a hill with a thunderstorm coming. KN got there, and I was ready to tack up, and I told her that if it started thundering I was out of there. I told her I'd take the horse, and she could grab the cart that I had all my stuff in and that would be that. I started getting the saddle on and realized I had grabbed the wrong girth out of my trunk. And of course, it's not starting to rain. Had to walk back to the car and get the correct one, and came back and finished tacking up. Now it's really raining, and I have to plop my butt into my now rather wet saddle. It was CHILLY! I settled into the saddle and Storm decided it was time to take off. He started trying to crow hop and run, and KN thankfully guided me through shutting him down quickly. I realized part way into managing it that I was still breathing, which came as a surprise to me. It's silly how easy it is to quit breathing in a moment like that, so the fact that I was aware that I was was a big deal. I also realized (much later, though), that I know KN so well, and trust her so much, that I'm still able to hear her in those moments when SHTF. I'm able to follow her guidance because I know that it will work, and that she'll get us through it, and sure enough, she did. I got him settled down and then we put him to work, and he worked hard. I was really proud of how well he did, we didn't ride for the whole hour, but it was terrific anyway. I was tired when we quit, and he was equally tired. I let him stand when we stopped after some really great steps, and he didn't move for a long time. I had to climb down and ASK him to move so that I could untack him next to my cart. I think if I had left him there and gone to bring the cart to him he probably wouldn't have moved at all, either.
It's been a busy time since the weekend, and I haven't been able to catch up with my energy. I've been SO tired since the weekend, and it doesn't matter how early I go to bed, I'm still tired. I'll recover eventually, but in the mean time I'm dragging! It's a 3 day weekend, so at least that helps, but I don't think I'm going to do much of anything if I can help it!
 

frustratedearthmother

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Hope you're able to work out a good solution for a place for Storm. Silly boy though...had himself a mini temper tantrum, lol. So glad you got him through it and went on to have a great lesson!
 

hqueen13

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Thanks, FEM!
Yes, he did have a temper tantrum. Or a WAHOO moment, whatever you want to call it. I don't mind him doing that... as long as I'm not on board!
I'm SO tired this week. I just can't seem to catch up. The weather hasn't been helping, it's been pretty gray, and very warm and humid, but I think that's about to break tonight. We're supposed to get some rough storms this evening, I'm hoping I can get down and do my chores before it hits, and then tomorrow night's low is 57! :epI just want to be able to open the windows again! I'm so tired of air conditioning, and it running almost constantly.
The BF has to talk to the neighbor again about getting the new boiler/hot water heater combo system put in, because we've got to have that done before winter, and the neighbor is getting really close to having his house finished so he can sell it, so we need to get that fixed up. I worry that other things will break when they start to do that work, but at this point I want to save the money on the gas this winter. I think the boiler will be more efficient, and I KNOW the hot water will be more efficient, too. The money has been sitting in the bank ear marked for the project since he got his tax return, and now that most of the pandemic has settled down I want to get that done.
Not much else to report, which is probably good! My goal is to lay low this weekend. If W and A want to come over so that they can get the table finished, that's fine by me, but other than that, I don't want to do anything other than my required chores. The house needs cleaning, and there are some projects I want to work on, but beyond that, I don't want to socialize or anything. And I want to sleep so I can stop feeling so freaking tired all the time! I think the stress of the changes with GH and SH and the stress of work lately has been weighing on me and is not helping. Hopefully some of this stuff will shift, soon, and I can get it off my plate and take an actual break. We'll see. Just gotta keep chugging along.
 

Icu4dzs

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Hello hqueen,
Long time since we last talked. I guess you’re still near gunpowder falls.
I am still in SDAK.
Lots of changes since my last post.
Been milking a Jersey for nearly three years. Part of my self sufficiency approach.
Just thought I’d say hi!
Cheers
Trim sends
 

hqueen13

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Hi @Icu4dzs Long time no chat! Glad to see you're still around! Awesome on milking for 3 years, that's a long time. I can't believe you're still up there in SDAK! Glad you haven't blown away yet!
I'm not down by Gunpowder anymore, actually, up closer to APG now (yay boomy noises all day), we bought our own little property up here 3 years ago in Dec, it's got room for the horse, but I haven't been able to get the funds together to set it all up yet. That costs more than I anticipated, and the house is a 1960's that needs updating. Thankfully it's got good bones, but everything else has needed an update, so that's slowed progress on things we've wanted to do. Good to hear from you!!
 
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