Husband doesn't want to homeschool?

[lorihadams]

Well, my DD is about to turn 4 and my son just turned 6 and we are "homeschooling". My son is not a morning person at all and likes to do his "work" in the afternoons which would not work for a tradtional school setting.

He plays a lot now and we don't do a lot of written work. We read a lot and do computer stuff and use manipulatives for math and do a lot of hands on stuff for science.

I get a lot of crap from my mom about how "What you need to do is put his little butt on the bus".

At his party this past weekend the only child he had a problem with was the one that is in his sunday school class and music class at church. Everyone else was fine. He doesn't like him and the other kid doesn't like my child but we are friends with the parents and invited them all. Everyone doesn't have to be friends with everyone.

My son's personality is not suited for school. I used to be a teacher. I hate the public school system. Not all are bad so maybe you guys just need to visit the school and see what it is like. I don't see a problem keeping your children home at least through kindergarten because it just gives them more time to be kids. You can teach everything to them that they learn in school anyway.

I have a problem with the fact that every child is supposed to be at the same level on everything at the same time and that is just not realistic. Some kids read at age 4 and some don't until they are 7 or 8 and that is okay. I have a problem with the social aspect of school too, it seems like the social issues get pushed to the forefront and actual education gets pushed aside.

I went to public school and so did my husband. We had two different experiences and he is coming around to the idea of homeschool. I am not "cracking" down on seatwork until "first grade". The best thing about homeschooling is the ability to try things and if they don't work for your child then you don't do it that way anymore whereas in public school you're screwed.

Make a deal with your husband and keep your kids home for kindergarten and see how it goes. If it works for you both then try first grade, if not you can always send them to public school. You're not gonna miss much from kindergarten anyway.

Some families can do it and some can't and that's okay. Try looking for a good homeschooling group in your area and meet the parents and children....let the children hang out together and get ideas.

Good luck!

 

[Up-the-Creek]

Another thought to it IS the social aspect,...you send your well mannered child to school and in the evenings you get back a little monster that has been exposed to every bad behaviour that can be imagined from the kids that their parents could give a holy crap about. That is another issue that Im dealing with. Your children get exposed to more than you may want in many ways,..from some teachers and many of the students. Oh and don't get me started about what goes on on the schoolbuses,...that is another factor in itself.

 

[aggieterpkatie]

My siblings and I were public school kids, and we all had good experiences. We were band kids, so far from being the most popular, but we weren't bullied either. We all did well. Now that my DSS and DSD are in public schools, I can comment more on how the schools actually work. DSD is in kindergarten, and it's an all-day program here. The kids are not forced to sit still all day, they have centers and activities and recess, including specials like Phys Ed, Music, Art, Computer Lab, and Media. DSS is in second grade and was having trouble with reading, and he gets pulled out of class every day for special reading time with the reading lady (don't know if she has a special title), so it's not like the just expect him to be at the same level as "everyone else." His reading has greatly improved with the daily reading and our work with him at home. The kids both enjoy school and look forward to going.

I personally could never homeschool, because I just don't have the personality that would allow me to be patient with trying to teach the kids everything. Helping them with homework and other things is fine (but some days it's not so fine) and I know the kids don't really like when we teach them stuff anyways, they prefer to learn it from their teacher. I was the same way. I can remember getting SO frustrated when my mom helped me with a problem back when I was in school. I really preferred my teachers to teach me the school work, not my parents.

It's tricky when one spouse wants one thing and the other spouse wants another. It's kinda hard to compromise too, because it's not like you can homeschool half the week and send them to school the other half. Perhaps you (OP) can contact some local homeschool resources in your area and see if there are homeschool parents who would invite you over a few times so you (well, mainly hubby) can see what is involved with homeschooling. And, maybe you can also attend some local schools and sit in on a classroom to see what's involved.

 

[chickenone]

My only problem with homeschooling is that there are bullies out there in the workplace, and people who are bad influences are everywhere. If you shelter your kids from these things all of their young lives, when are they supposed to learn the skills to deal with these things as an adult? The world is not going to go away, unfortunately.

My child went to public school, as did I. It was often trying, and there were things that we both had to deal with that were difficult, but I think we are both stronger people because of it. I am glad that my parents did not shelter me from the world.

But in any event, I hope you find the right solution for you and your family.

 

[sekinkead]

I just wanted to chime in as we have also decided to pull our daughter out of public school for next year. She is 11 and in 6th grade and has been having problems with a couple of bullies for the last 2.5 years. I have talked to the principal and the guidance counselor over the last couple of years and its not getting any better. My son is in 8th grade and has no problems and loves school and is fine with staying in public school.

While I agree that there are going to be bullies and mean people in life it will never be what we experience in the school setting. You will not have people of all the same age and if it gets too bad you can always turn them in to HR, walk away, take a long lunch, etc that you cant do while in school. I was bullied all through school and have self-esteem issues as an adult. I was a great student and a star athlete but I was still miserable at school every day and will never go to a reunion and am friends with only a couple of people I went to school with.

I am relieved to be getting her out of this situation which has caused us both lots of stress, sleepless nights, tears, and yelling. I am also thankful to be getting her out of there before true middle and high school peer pressure start. She will still be socialized with church, youth group, 4-H, and anything else I can get her involved in. I think this is a turning point in our lives and her life and what we choose to do about this problem will determine how she turns out. I would rather have more control over what she learns from this point forward than letting her friends teach her things she doesnt need to know yet.

Sorry to be so long winded. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and hopefully you and your spouse can come to an agreement.

 

[MsPony]

I have to agree, being an ADULT in a workplace is vastly different then being a child/pre teen/ teenager who's already going through a lot and is emotionally unstable.

There's no doubt in me & hubbys minds that were doing homeschooling. We want to teach practical, common sense and puzzle solving. Throwing tests at kids continually is not teaching the real world.

School was horribly boring for me, I have always been far ahead of everyone and never challenged, so I never did my work. All I wanted to do was go to the barn, because I was on my way to assistant trainer. I missed out on an oppurtunity because I had to sit in school and be bored out of my mind. Working towayds "college".

With homeschooling you can put as much religious influence as want and shelter as much as you want.

 

[chandasue]

Our school experiences were middle of the road, not great, but not always horrid either. But being "older" parents, things seem like they've changed so much since we were in school and we see a lot of problems that were minor when we were kids. My DH took some convincing too. But I was seriously determined and flooded him with stats on our local school district to nationwide, as well as articles and books that showed all the real life benefits to homeschooling over the "psuedo-socialization" we got in school. I wanted to homeschool from the beginning as to not have to undo any damage from the school setting. He changed his mind quickly. There's always going to be people on both sides of the fence on the matter. Read, read and read some more books about homeschooling. You might decide that it isn't for you after all and decide that being really involved as a parent volunteer in your school keeps you involved. Or it'll give you facts to discuss rationally with your husband so he can be more logical in his decision making as well. It's a lot of work really to homeschool and for me involves a LOT of driving to visit friends and go to activities. I wouldn't have it any other way myself. Weight the options and do what is BEST for YOUR family!

 

[mrscoyote]

Hi, I am all for home schooling. I just wanted to add this link for you to look at things from another perspective. http://4brevard.com/choice/Public_Education.htm
Good luck in whatever choice you make.
Nancy

 

[me&thegals]

I have to agree, being an ADULT in a workplace is vastly different then being a child/pre teen/ teenager who's already going through a lot and is emotionally unstable.

There's no doubt in me & hubbys minds that were doing homeschooling. We want to teach practical, common sense and puzzle solving. Throwing tests at kids continually is not teaching the real world. School was horribly boring for me, I have always been far ahead of everyone and never challenged, so I never did my work. All I wanted to do was go to the barn, because I was on my way to assistant trainer. I missed out on an oppurtunity because I had to sit in school and be bored out of my mind. Working towayds "college".

With homeschooling you can put as much religious influence as want and shelter as much as you want.

Perhaps I'm just being crabby, but if you've had no actual experience in the public school system, then what are you basing this on?

The system is not perfect. One on one leaves more opportunities than 1 on 16. But 1 on 16 gives other opportunities.

My kids do not just have tests thrown at them. The entire school is in a planting project right now. They are planting about 100 flats of herbs, flowers and vegetables. They are learning about the plants, actually digging in the soil and planting, planning a community plant sale, doing the cash at the sale, etc.

My daughter is learning about the Iditarod right now. Incorporated into that is math, science, geography and more. She will have a real-life musher bring her dog to school for a visit.

So, I definitely see great aspects to homeschooling. I would just like to point out that it's a little insulting to generalize so negatively about public schooling, as the unspoken message is that those of us with kids in public school are selfishly letting our kids languish there rather than doing the hard work of homeschooling.

I don't see a reason why both methods cannot be respected for their positive aspects.

 

[MsPony]

I went to public school and am watching younger siblings go throw it.

That's a good, but rare school. Thanks to "no child left behind", I hear more and more about schools having to teach only what's on tests, recess, library time, extra curricular are being stopped.