I am weirded out ...

[Lady Henevere]

Anyone with a brain knows that it's "Your Honor", but sarcasm? How does respect and good manners get twisted into sarcasm at the California border?

I think it's because it's not used as good manners here (just as "y'all" is not used here), and instead it's seen as a military thing where the people saying "Yes, ma'am" are being bossed around. So saying "Mrs. __" is considered good manners, or calling out, "Ma'am! You forgot your wallet!" is okay. But "Yes, ma'am" is generally seen as sarcastic unless you're in the military. Same goes for sir.

If you were to say it with a good southern drawl, you'd probably be forgiven.

 

[sunsaver]

I can sort of get it, but it still seems bizarre. We display sarcasm more by inflection and tone of voice than by word choice. If we say "yeeees sirrrrrr!" Drawn out and exaggerated, that would be sarcasm. If we say "yes sir." Curtly and clean with no exclamation, that is a sign of respect, same as it is used in the military. It may be that there is a higher number of military personnel from the south. That might explain the confusion. But the contraction Y'all (you all) is now an accepted lexicon of the American version of the English language.
Things get really confusing when a southern person goes to Chicago. They say "top" instead of "tarp". They say"bosses" instead of "busses". And they say "sowt" instead of "south".
"Yes, i am from the sowt!. You must be from the nort."
Our schools might need to bring back diction and pronunciation as part of English class, before we lose all ability to communicate with ourselves.

 

[aggieterpkatie]

I don't get bothered by it, although at 30 I'd say I'm too young to be a ma'am. I just see it as being polite. Some guys I know say it to everyone, like one of the farmers my age (actually a year or two younger) who comes in to work. We're friends, but he still says yes ma'am all the time to me. I wouldn't exactly say MD is southern, but I guess some southern tendancies are found here.

 

[FarmerChick]

You could be called alot worse!

 

[garden pixy]

I work as a waitress on the weekend and I am frequently referred to as Sweetheart or Hon, I was quite pleased this weekend when I had some younger gentlemen (12 years old-ish) saying "Thank you Ma'am" it was nice knowing I'm not the only one raising my children to be polite and respectful, I bet they open doors for ladies too

I do find it obnoxious when 'men' in the 18-40 range think it's ok to call me Sweetheart, my name is on my vest.

 

[TanksHill]

Here in SoCal, "ma'am" and "sir" are pretty much only used sarcastically; "Yes, ma'am" means, "I'll do it because you're forcing me to, but I sure won't like it." I saw a judge once yell at a guy for calling her ma'am ("It's 'your honor,' and you would do best not to forget that.").

I think it may be cultural. Because it's not that way at my house. I am only 40 and my children say yes mam and yes sir as a sign of respect.

 

[Holachicka]

Here in SoCal, "ma'am" and "sir" are pretty much only used sarcastically; "Yes, ma'am" means, "I'll do it because you're forcing me to, but I sure won't like it." I saw a judge once yell at a guy for calling her ma'am ("It's 'your honor,' and you would do best not to forget that.").

I think it may be cultural.

I agree, I hear mam and sir plenty around here. I hear it a lot when an employee is speaking to a customer just about anywhere, and almost regardless of age. There are a few people who would use it sarcastically, but I've really only seen it very rarely, and something like my teenage neice talking back to her mom... But I'm not bothered being called ma'am, I see it not so much as a sign of respect or age, but that the store clerk doesn't know my name!

 

[sunsaver]

Anyone with a brain knows that it's "Your Honor", but sarcasm? How does respect and good manners get twisted into sarcasm at the California border?

I think it's because it's not used as good manners here (just as "y'all" is not used here), and instead it's seen as a military thing where the people saying "Yes, ma'am" are being bossed around. So saying "Mrs. __" is considered good manners, or calling out, "Ma'am! You forgot your wallet!" is okay. But "Yes, ma'am" is generally seen as sarcastic unless you're in the military. Same goes for sir.

If you were to say it with a good southern drawl, you'd probably be forgiven.

I once had a lady stand back and look at me in disgust: "What! I am not a ma'am!" As if i were calling her the owner of a whorehouse. There i was trying to be respectful, but she was feeling insulted. Welcome to the south, y'all!

 

[ORChick]

I work as a waitress on the weekend and I am frequently referred to as Sweetheart or Hon, I was quite pleased this weekend when I had some younger gentlemen (12 years old-ish) saying "Thank you Ma'am" it was nice knowing I'm not the only one raising my children to be polite and respectful, I bet they open doors for ladies too

I do find it obnoxious when 'men' in the 18-40 range think it's ok to call me Sweetheart, my name is on my vest.

Well, yes, I do get bothered (inside; I don't let it show) when store or restaurant staff, or the checker at the grocery, call me *hon*. That bugs me more than *ma'am*. *Ma'am* I see as being polite, though it is not a term I was raised to say; not sure what it is about *hon* or *sweetie* that annoys me. I know it is just a habit that they have got into from talking to so many people everyday whose names they don't know. (Garden pixy, I just noticed that YOU are the one being *hon-ed* by the customer! Now that would drive me nuts, unless they were little old white haired ladies )
I am actually quite pleased with this young man, *ma'am* notwithstanding. He is a hard worker (he isn't here yet today because first he had to go to another job at 6:45am), invariably polite, and willing to take on some other odd jobs I have, not just the wood splitting and stacking that I hired him for. Now that DH and I are both not quite so young anymore it is nice to have found someone with a strong back who is willing to work, and is pleasant about it (for a fee, of course ).

 

[Henrietta23]

There was a young woman in a Donkin Donuts here who called me "Hon" anytime I went through the drive through. I had known her as a 6th grader making her roughly 30 years my junior. After the 3rd time it happened I told her it was insulting. She never did stop. I quit going there but suspect she's still doing it. It just felt wrong!
I do feel old when someone calls me ma'am, but when someone younger calls me Miss it just feels condesending! Can't win!!
Then of course there's the kids in the high school where I work. They call all female staff Miss and all male staff Mister. No last names. I insist on the students I work with calling me by my full name using Mrs. But it is a battle. Don't know if it's peculiar to our area or if it's becoming common all over.