Lorihadams-- hi guys...been busy!

[Dace]

Sounds like a great Easter.....nice and relaxing. Well yours sounded pretty busy actually....at least it was busy with fun stuff though

 

[lorihadams]

So just talked to daddy and he is coming this weekend to lay the block for the garage foundation!!!

I have to call and order all the building materials probably monday so we can get this thing going. My builder is going to be happy cause he has no work right now and is itching for something to do.

I am thinking about a new little project. I planted corn yesterday and also did laundry....how are they related, you ask? Well, when we dug out the ground for the footers hubby spread all the topsoil in a big patch on the other side of the clothesline. I got to thinking, all that freshly turned dirt....may as well plant something in it.....more corn!!! So I think we are going to go level it out a bit and plant several rows of corn. We have leftover t-posts to make a fence around it with fishing line to keep the deer out.

I worked with the kids for a while this morning on school stuff....it is getting to be a struggle with Tyler. He refuses to write anything. I am losing my patience with him and find myself yelling all the time. I am afraid I'm gonna give up and just put his little butt on the bus come fall. We planted beans to watch them sprout, we worked on different types of graphs today for math and they drew their own, and we looked in the trees outside this morning for inchworms. We got 5 of them....one out of my hair. I have a book on magnets that I want to read to them a little later but I swear if Madelyn doesn't stop whining I'm going to strangle her.

I am so fried I just keep snapping at the slightest little thing. Tyler's new habit is making random noises until I snap. Everywhere we go other people complain about him being a bully....what am I doing wrong? I swear I just want to lock myself in a room and cry.

If Tyler loses at anything he explodes. He was playing tag with some kids at the park the other day and one of the other boys sat down and said "I'm on base" and Tyler proceeded to kick him until I made him come sit down. He was mad cause he thought the boy was cheating so he would lose.

My BF said "you need to put him in school so some other kids will beat him up and maybe then he'll learn" UGH.

I am so over it. On the one hand, if I let him go to school then I feel like a failure and I cannot tell you how many people....my mother included.....will lecture me on how I should have sent him in the first place. I cannot hear the "I told you so's". On the other hand, if I don't send him to school I go crazy and kill him.

Then my husband says that if they go to school there is no way he is gonna let me "sit here all day and do nothing" and that I will need to get a job. So then I have to deal with that. I just need a break but I never get one. Tyler won't leave my side, I am miserable...I may just put on my bathing suit and go sit in the sun today....maybe the vitamin D will perk me up.

 

[gettinaclue]

I'm sorry about the little dude.

I have no advice, but I understand the frustration.

Sending hugs your way.

 

[ksalvagno]

Sounds like a tough spot to be in. I'm sure ultimately you will do what is best for everyone. Does DH expect you to get a full time job? I'm really finding that working 2 days a week is nice. But I work very close to home and I didn't need any special clothes so didn't need to go shopping or anything. You could always remind DH about the expenses of you working full time. Day care, clothes, gas, wear and tear on the car, house cleaning service, etc.

 

[Natalie's Nesters]

I have been there, it does get better! My boys are 20, 18, 16. I remember yelling if One More Person Touches Me, I'll Scream! Do what you feel in your heart is right and forget the rest. It will work out!

 

[TanksHill]

Lori isn't he 5? At that young of an age there are so many things they have yet to learn. Getting along with others as well as self discipline and control.

I can see your friends point of view. But I would not put it the same way. I did notice that when my children got to kindegarten you could see the diference between the ones that had been to pre school and the ones who had not. They just did not understand the classroom setting, strucure and the rules yet. They always caught up and figured it out. It just took them a bit longer.

Not sure about your kids but mine always seemed to listen to other adults more than they listen to me. Maybe if he is exposed to another adult authority figure telling him rules it will help. This may also help him realize Mom is right. My son is almost 11 and he is just now understanding this concept.

Is there a day camp or some type of summer camp he can attend? Even church based where another authority figure will instruct him during the day?

It might help.

Hugs.

g
g

 

[savingdogs]

My son I call Trouble has had trouble with bullys at school. But he has both BEEN the bully and been hurt by bullies. I think being around them made him WORSE not better. I don't think the idea of sending him to school to let school bullies beat him up is a good choice.

With Trouble we have found the only thing that motivates him to do his work is taking away his fun. Whatever it is. If his work ain't done, he can't do whatever it is he wants to do instead of work on his school stuff. I'm not saying that our parenting techniques have been a success on child number three, but a few things did NOT work. And being bullied did not stop him from being one himself. He just perfected his technique.

I thought it was a lot easier to manage my son when he was at home. However, he wanted to attend regular school really bad, so now we hold that over his head. He had better behave or we will home school him again. He knows we WILL and that isn't what he liked, so it makes him keep his nose to the grindstone in regular school a little.

We never had to use these type of anti-bribery techniques on our other two children, they were easy teenagers and delightful children, wonderful adults now. Don't take this personally. Some kids are just harder to raise. God thought you were up for this challenge, you must be.

 

[Dace]

Ugh, raising young ones is really hard. There is no right or wrong answer.....you are just going to have to do what feels like the best choice for you.

I disagree with sending him to school to be put into his place. That is not a good solution as has been mentioned here....it will only make him frustrated and fuel his aggression. Just my thoughts.

Hang in there, kids DO get easier as they get older. I know it is hard to believe right now, but it is true

 

[calendula]

Your little one reminds me of my 6 year old son. But he is in public school with these problems rather than being homeschooled. He has emotional outbursts over things most kids wouldn't, and can be very bossy, demanding, and stubborn. And he also makes random noises, but those ended up being tics. He may have a mild form of tourettes, though his doctor isn't concerned about it at this point.

Anyway, I know how you feel, even though I don't homeschool. There have been days when I cried because my little kindergartener was in the principals office again for being "disruptive." It definately helps to talk to people about it, and its awesome if you have a supportive spouse/partner. Also, I do a lot of research and read parenting books and magazines. Some of it is crap, but sometimes there are some good ideas to be found.

Some good articles/info that I have found:

http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/

http://www2.focusonthefamily.com/docstudy/bookshelf/a000000388.cfm

 

[BeccaOH]

Would a martial arts class be an option for your son? My friend sends her kindergartner son to a class that has done wonders for his attention span, his confidence, his adherence to rules, and such. He was abused/beat by his birth father as a toddler and has had some residual issues even with dad now out of his life completely.

I think it was already said that your son needs to learn to listen to and respect adult authority. Putting him in with a big room of other kids his age doesn't necessarily teach that.