Money vent

[murphysranch]

Wow. BF has alot going on in the 42 acres he owns. Can you step up your working hours for him? There must be tons of work there, with all that he offers for sale.

 

[WhiteMountainsRanch]

I take care of all the ranch stuff, animals, plants, household etc. He owns a construction company separate from White Mountains Ranch, which is what I work for when I can.

 

[Wannabefree]

Maybe you should start charging for taking care of all the ranch stuff, animals, plants, and household Do you cook his supper? Charge like a diner would. Maybe he wouldn't get so puffed up then when ya ask for gas money This is kind of meant tounge in cheek...but sheesh..he kind of sounds unappreciative. If I had a gf/bf that lived with me and held the place down like it sounds like you are doing....I'd be happy to give them some gas money to go get an education!!! Otherwise, I'd expect them to leave me any minute for being such a butthead.

 

[old fashioned]

I think most are feeling the $ pinch.
I've been a SAHM for the last 10 years with only DH's income & things just kept getting tighter so I finally got a job a few months ago to ease the burden and wouldn't ya just know it DH's hours were cut so we're still stretching every penny possible.

It seems my whole life has been living on the money edge & can never quite get ahead. Have never been able to spend freely, or even save without 'something' happening to take what little we do get ahead.
Even if our situations aren't the same, I can surely feel for ya

 

[Wifezilla]

Wanna...I was thinking the same thing.

Not being a total weizenheimer either. If you were abducted by aliens tonight, how much would BF have to pay for those things to be done by someone else? That is the value you are providing to HIS ranch.

In your previous post you mentioned he is resentful if you ask for money. If you are providing services for his ranch and he isn't paying you for those services...HUGE RED FLAG HERE.

If you were married, that would be different. Anything you do to add value to the property or operation would benefit the both of you. Without being married, you are an unpaid farmhand.

To be fair, if you aren't paying rent, you can calculate the cost of rent in with the mix. Be sure to include the value of any domestic services as well, but you need to seriously do the math.

Without being married you may be helping someone else to financially benefit while screwing over yourself.

 

[PamsPride]

Sorry to be blunt....but...does BF intend to marry you??
I would think that if you two are living like you are married then why would he not want to see you succeed? Or is it the case that money is just as tight for him?
I would also think it would be in his best interest to help you if he intends to marry you then he will be contributing to the overall productivity of the relationship, therefore increasing his (and your) earning power.
Does he REALLY harbor resentment toward you for asking for money or are you just feeling his frustration for lack of money for himself and it is a hardship for him to give it?
I agree that if you are living like you are married and he really does resent you for giving you extra money for living expenses and not for frivolous things than you are nothing more than a cheap farmhand!

 

[savingdogs]

Gosh, all this personal advice!

I was thinking of helping you somewhere more along the lines of suggesting you check out the threads about making homemade laundry detergent. We have saved a significant amount by using that. We find making it kinda fun and why not look for more easy ways to penny-pinch, since no amount of bellyaching is gonna make more money in the overall fund. This forum also has lots of other ideas for making do, doing without and using fewer, more basic ingredients for a lot of things you are wasting money at the grocery store to buy. There are also other websites dedicated to being frugal AND happy..........
Maybe if you show BF some of your great new ideas, he won't have any choice but to marry you and hold on to you forever!

 

[Beekissed]

Cari J. ~not to point out the obvious, but these things must cost a bit of money to support.

1 Mastiff & 1 Shepherd, 6 Cats (www.rescuehouse.org), 1 Kingsnake, 5 Californian Rabbits, 2 Coturnix, lots of fish, herbs and plants! Chickens; 12 SL Wyandottes. Chicks; 4 BLRW Banties, 6 Cornish x, 4 Barred Rocks, 2 GL Wyandottes.

Is there a way you could downsize until you could afford to have that many animals?

My sister has hundreds of animals and is always living on the edge of disaster...but this year she found out that, when you need money, you can cash in a cow or two, or even a litter of pigs and actually make money and save money from the lowered feed bill.

I think she liked the discovery and sold even more of her "can't part with any of them, they are like family" animals in order to prioritize her life. She is now in the process of building a new home and supporting a daughter and new granddaughter...I think she realized that some things just need to take priority if the bills are to get paid.

I used to live hand to mouth also until I looked at my living situation....I paid city water, sewage and trash and heated with gas, cooled with electric. Large house to heat or cool. Was making vehicle payments and full coverage insurance.

I moved, made $3 less on the hour...but can still make my bills now. I found a place in the country about 3.5 miles from town, heat with wood now, really watch electric usage, only get a vehicle that I can pay for right then and keep liability insurance on any but my main vehicle.

I keep an eye on my animal's upkeep. If it got to where I was struggling, the chickens and sheep would be the first to go. I don't usually commit to more than two dogs and two cats. Period. I know that I cannot afford any more than that number on my income. It is very tempting to take any homeless animal....but then I would be homeless also if I took them all.

I also let God have more control over my life and finances and haven't been late on a bill since doing that. It sure is comforting to know that my utilities aren't being threatened and I can provide for my family and home now.

 

[shareneh]

I think that you may be feeling overwhelmed and impatient. You seem to be a young lady just starting out. You don't have to feel like it will always be this way. From the website it appears that you and your boyfriend have everything under control on the ranch. Everything is clean and the animals and plants look healthy, you are marketing yourselves and sold out for most of the merchandise.

It is hard transitioning into your own but you are well on your way. Don't get down on yourself or anyone else right now. Not many people ever start out with rolls of cash in the pocket and not a care in the world. Besides, where would the fun be in that?

Going to school is hard, at times it seems so stupid to be spending time and money on classes. When you get that degree though, man, the feeling is like no other. You have that degree for the rest of your life. NO one can take it from you.

If money is an issue for you, get a part time job where you go to school. If time is an issue, make those three days count. Go to school then work in the town you drive to or vice versa. You're already there so....make a few bucks for gas while you're there. Don't forget, you will make contacts too. The more people you meet the better for your business.

We all have hard times, it depends on how you react to them whether you are happy or not.

 

[WhiteMountainsRanch]

Maybe you should start charging for taking care of all the ranch stuff, animals, plants, and household Do you cook his supper? Charge like a diner would. Maybe he wouldn't get so puffed up then when ya ask for gas money This is kind of meant tounge in cheek...but sheesh..he kind of sounds unappreciative. If I had a gf/bf that lived with me and held the place down like it sounds like you are doing....I'd be happy to give them some gas money to go get an education!!! Otherwise, I'd expect them to leave me any minute for being such a butthead.

I do the work around the house and ranch, cleaning, feeding, cooking etc, but he pays all the household bills.

In your previous post you mentioned he is resentful if you ask for money. If you are providing services for his ranch and he isn't paying you for those services...HUGE RED FLAG HERE.
If you were married, that would be different. Anything you do to add value to the property or operation would benefit the both of you. Without being married, you are an unpaid farmhand.

It's basically our ranch, we moved here together and have grown it together, he just pays the bills. All the animals are "my" projects, and I pay for them. He pays the household bills, like rent, food, electricity etc.

Sorry to be blunt....but...does BF intend to marry you??

I HOPE SO! =P Lol, we have talked about it.

I agree that if you are living like you are married and he really does resent you for giving you extra money for living expenses and not for frivolous things than you are nothing more than a cheap farmhand!

I think a lot of his frustration came from a past relationship he had, where he supported her for 9 years, paid for her school, then she emptied all his accounts, hired a lawyer to steal more of his money from him etc. Now I think he told himself he would never support a girl again, but found himself in a similar situation. Even though I am not her, and pay for most of my own things. (Except household things like rent)

~not to point out the obvious, but these things must cost a bit of money to support.

The dogs are our protection, we live 13 miles from the border and have no fence. The cats I am downsizing on, I have already turned 5 back in to the rescue and 4 more are on their way. The chickens provide us with eggs and food. We sell enough eggs in a month to pay for their food. The babies we have are for processing and selling. The rabbits we breed and sell to the local 4h kids, and process the rest for food.

I used to live hand to mouth also until I looked at my living situation....I paid city water, sewage and trash and heated with gas, cooled with electric. Large house to heat or cool. Was making vehicle payments and full coverage insurance. I moved, made $3 less on the hour...but can still make my bills now. I found a place in the country about 3.5 miles from town, heat with wood now, really watch electric usage, only get a vehicle that I can pay for right then and keep liability insurance on any but my main vehicle.

I feel like we live pretty bare bones already, we don't use the heater or air conditioner, both vehicles are paid for, we don't buy useless or frivolous stuff etc... It just seems I never have enough money to do anything I want. For example I desperately need new clothes, all the ones I have are like 5 years old stained and full of holes, but with bills to pay I never have any extra for clothes.

If money is an issue for you, get a part time job where you go to school.

I have been looking for a part-time job, but I can't find anything near me. Jobs are scarce here right now.


You guys are right, and I appreciate the opinions. It's not so bad, I am just so frustrated with not having any money and things being so tight while I go to school.