My BJ, My Husband has Died

[baymule]

I’m going through old pictures for BJs memorial. I ran across our wedding pictures. The sheriff of the county walked in with his shotgun. BJ had been a pretty rowdy guy, got thrown in jail for bar fights and such. He was well known to the law. LOL

So Billy Ray walked in dressed in a ridiculous get-up and a shotgun. He announced, “I’m here to make sure Bobby Joe gets married and Dana don’t run off.”

We really did have a shotgun wedding.

 

[tortoise]

How are you doing @baymule ?

My sister lost her husband to H1N1 a couple years ago. She used the Ball in a Box analogy to help her kids understand grief. Sometimes her oldest son (about 10 years old at the time) would tell her that his "ball is very big today" https://www.hospiscare.co.uk/how-we...-and-dying/why-grief-is-like-a-ball-in-a-box/

 

[Cecilia's-life]

I just found this thread. Dana I'm so very sorry, you've always been there for me and I wasn't there for you. I hope you are holding up ok.

 

[baymule]

I spent a day and a half going through his closet. His closet is 10' long by 4' wide. I built 2 towers, 7' tall, 18" deep, one is 3' wide, one is 2' wide. I ran two poles between the towers for his hanging clothes. he loved his closet. I put baskets on the shelves for socks, underwear and such. Boots went on the bottom. Blue jeans were folded on shelves. Only the best for my baby.

I kept most of his button up shirts to make memory quilts for our granddaughters. Not this year, but by next Christmas. I kept a jacket that I have a picture of him wearing.

I bagged up his things, 9 garbage bags full plus stacks of dress slacks, suits and dress shirts that I put in the truck back seat. I put the bags in the back of the truck this morning and took them to the Highway 80 Mission in Longview, an hour away. They help addicts and alcoholics rehab and become productive members of society. They give homeless men a place to sleep safely and meals to eat. It was the right thing to do.

 

[baymule]

I just found this thread. Dana I'm so very sorry, you've always been there for me and I wasn't there for you. I hope you are holding up ok.

You didn't know, you do now. You are there for me now. I'm ok most days, some days I just fall apart. I go hug my dogs.

I'm getting stronger and I think I'll work outside tomorrow and clean out the empty feed bags, take the packing styrofoam and cardboard off the porch from the new freezer I bought. Somehow, that didn't get thrown away. I'll make a load to the neighbor's 20 yard roll off box. I want to hit the ground running, but I'm not ready yet. I have a goal of doing something every day. Soon I'll be able to do several somethings per day. I have a lot to do before I put this place up for sale in March.

 

[CrealCritter]

You didn't know, you do now. You are there for me now. I'm ok most days, some days I just fall apart. I go hug my dogs.

I'm getting stronger and I think I'll work outside tomorrow and clean out the empty feed bags, take the packing styrofoam and cardboard off the porch from the new freezer I bought. Somehow, that didn't get thrown away. I'll make a load to the neighbor's 20 yard roll off box. I want to hit the ground running, but I'm not ready yet. I have a goal of doing something every day. Soon I'll be able to do several somethings per day. I have a lot to do before I put this place up for sale in March.

I feel as through I'm butting in. But what you need done? I work cheap, just need food, water, shower and a place to sleep. I'm pretty handy and I could do a week, PM me if you need anything.

Jesus is Lord and Christ

 

[NH Homesteader]

Bay I am so, so sorry for your loss. You two were definitely soul mates

 

[Cecilia's-life]

some days I just fall apart. I go hug my dogs.

I do the same. Those fluffy LGDs are perfect cuddle bugs.

 

[The Porch]

Dana, Baymule, my heart breaks for what you have gone through, I thank the Lord you have your children and grandchildren. Prayers and blessings for your neighbor I pray he healed up ok. I pray for strength, peace and wisdom for you.
Becky

 

[baymule]

Today is BJ’s memorial service in Livingston, 170 miles south. He lived there 35 years, everyone knew him. I lived there 30 years. We moved here on our 19th anniversary. I need this. I need to be among people who loved BJ. Taking my beloved to the hospital and getting him back weeks later in a small cherry wood box is a nightmare of bad dreams from which I cannot wake up from.

I need to grieve in the company of others. I need to cry, I need to laugh, but most of all, I need to celebrate everything that was BJ.