Neighborhood kids always @ my house

[rhoda_bruce]

I have good neighbors and I do want my kids to have friends and some of them are relatives and I'm honored that they feel at home at my house and I love them, but my Lord......don't their parent's know that I have an outside job and have 5 children, farm animals, gardens and school to tend to and I don't have much time to do any of those for too long, without other's suffering?
And what I don't understand from some of them is......I had homework when I was in school. Don't they? And when I sent my older kids to school, I missed them, cuz they were gone for like 6 hours from me @ least. Don't they want their kids to be with them at least an hour for a snack and to maybe check their bags?
Today I was trying to make the 8 year old do her spelling, while I was slaughtering 2 broilers and before I knew it, I had 3 children that I had not given birth to and pretty soon a squabble broke out.
I've been hesitant to lay down the law because I appreciate it that I'm the neighborhood mom and that my kids have close friends but there has to be a way to let these people understand that I have to have at least 2 hours after public school lets out before I can be SuperMom.

 

[me&thegals]

Wow--I really feel for you! I would want to be seeing my kids, too, since I don't see them all day! I don't understand parents like this... And it is seriously inconsiderate, unless they've called you and asked if it's okay. I truly cannot understand how people feel okay doing this.

 

[Beekissed]

It could be that these kids find something at your house that they cannot find at their own....maybe your steadiness, your interesting farming practices, the warmth and kindness of your family life or your love for your own kids is something they sense that they don't get at home. Your home could be the only normal they see and that time at your home could maybe be a time that stays with them the rest of their lives...ya never really know.

I would just pretend they are your own, treat them like you would your own and pretend you have a bigger family on those days. That acceptance and your love may make a huge difference in these kid's lives.

And when it got too difficult, I'd just send them home....I'd explain you need to have special time with your own kids and that they are welcome to come back another day.

 

[Wannabefree]

I used to have that problem too. I miss that "problem" but when I was in the middle of it, I;d just tell the children to go home, and let DD do her work and they can come back in X ammount of time if they wanted. They usually did. It's pretty hard to offend a bunch of kids They generally were good and understood "now" wasn't a good time. Parents understood too, and got to where they wouldn't let them come back too early.

 

[Denim Deb]

How old are these kids? I'd talk to them, let them know that while they're more than welcome to come and hang out, your kids have to do things at certain times. If they're quiet, they can stay. But, if they're interfering, they have to go home until your kids are free. And then, stick to your guns. It might take a couple of times for the kids to see you really mean it, but after that, they'll probably be fine.

 

[2dream]

Treat them like they are yours. Put them to work doing some of the things they can while you finish up killing chickens and spelling. Surely there is some outside chore that you need done that they can get accomplished for you. Raking leaves, picking up limbs, watering animals or teach them how to work in your garden. You have a goldmine of free labor. As Bee said they are at your home for a reason.

I am knocking on the door of 60. I was the cool mom. Mine was the gathering house. At my house you got homemade cookies and a glass of goats milk. You also got to do cool stuff like water and feed the rabbits, chickens, goats and horses. As they aged they got to run weedeaters and cut grass. During the summer you got to pick beans and peas from the garden. If you were really lucky you got to help shell them. Twice a month on Saturday you got to help kill either chickens or rabbits and dress them out. Chicken plucking day seemed to be everyones favorite. Sunday afternoons they gathered in my kitchen while I cooked for the week. Everyone is grown and gone. Scattered to the four winds. Some turned out to be great kids, some did not. Some call me sometimes and some never. Some of them keep up with me on Facebook and a few of them are gone from this world.

Bask in this treasure you have before you for all to soon it will have slipped through your fingers.

 

[lorihadams]

I agree, depending on age either send them home for a bit and tell their parents that you don't mind them coming over but call first so you know they will be there and if you have something going on then you can tell them to come in x amount of time. If they are older then yep, put them to work. We have a cousin that gets dropped off at the end of our driveway twice a week to "hang out" and I make sure I save chores for him to do. He waters the garden, moves bags of feed for me, he will help muck out the barn when the time comes too. Put them to work!

 

[rhoda_bruce]

Thanks everyone. We mostly all seem to be on the same mindset. I think of ways to keep my house quiet and sometimes the extra kids leave when I'm teaching, on their own. Sometimes they stay and keep it quiet.
I have to teach religion to my children. One of my neighbors are not of the same religious upbringing as me, but has choosen it for her children, although she knows very little of it. Her daughter is the same age as one of my daughters and she has listened in on our class. She then went to her very first official religious class and then reported to her mom that she knew some of the answers to the questions. Her mom shared that info with me.
Sometimes I do feel overwhelmed, but childhood is a temporary condition.

 

[eggrookie2010]

Are you spying on me? This is SO my situation but the kids are here because they have a horrible family situation...like I send my kids in the house some days so they dont hear the goings on over there. So I have a moral dilemma too...keep the kid at my place even like 8 hours at a time or send him back to the pit? My son very often is just sick of the other kid and want s him to go home but I feel so bad for him I let him stay. Then I found out a few times the family just up and leaves to go to town and doesnt even tell me so I HAVE to keep him. They are abusing the situation like they do everything else. And yes I have called child protective services.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

Oh......I've been there too, but fortunately its not to that extreme with these kids.
My sister lives next door with her daughter and grandson, who has autism. He is an absolute joy. He is a bit slow in certain areas, but super smart in others, but we are all so protective of him......he somehow gets away from home and ends up here, or at other neighboring homes. Fortunately he knows which houses to go to. It would be horrifying if we found out he got away from our circle.
My non-relative neighbors are the 3rd neighbors we have had at that location and I can't believe how good they are to me. I'll never get used to having neighbors just handing me ducks, deer, tuna and prairie hens. I'm glad for the little girls, close in age to mine, but I need a little quiet time to teach.....which its hard to keep my grand-nephew quiet as well.
Then there is a little boy who lives a few houses up. Apparently his mom doesn't trust him to play just anywhere. I'm used to that with her because she had twin girls the same age as my oldest child and it was always a guard dog protective deal going on. She is an adoptive mom and there was a fear of the twins being kidnapped, but not so with the little boy.
My 'off time' is about to start. I will see if I can think of some interesting chores to get some help with. During the winter I'd get them to collect sticks for campfires so they could have weinny roasts. The children are 9, 8, 4 and 3 (nephew). My children are 16, 8 and 5. I have 2 adult children, but one lives near the college she is working/studying at and my son is at work most of the day.