please give me your opinions on what i should do with my life?

[FarmerChick]

2dream hit it on the nose
read ur post and reply to it as if it was someone else


You want something from him that will never happen U have to find it with someone else from what I can tell by your post

good luck to you

 

[kcsunshine]

Just wanted to add- don't give up 10 acres for anyone!!

Amen to that. Land will never cheat on you, or rob you blind, or abuse you (except for working on it 'til you drop). Land will provide for you and your children. Land will give your children something to do and something to be proud of (while keeping them off the streets and away from other bad influences). And land won't bore you to tears or talk you to death during your most favorite TV show.
And, most important of all, your land will not, I repeat, not, argue with you, or talk about you, or talk back to you.
JHMO

 

[Wifezilla]

I see a pattern. Everytime you start to get stable and independent, he decides he needs to get back with you...thus causing you to be unstable again. Break the cycle. Stop playing. Just be polite for the sake of the kids and keep the land!

 

[cjparker]

Excuse me, but your tagline says a LOT: I HATE STUPID PEOPLE-THEY SERVE NO PURPOSE AND YOU CANT RETRAIN THEM So don't be stupid and un-retrainable. And don't keep someone in your life who is too '"stupid" to know that a good wife and children trumps a roll iin the hay with someone else any day.

But most importantly, don't attempt to raise your children with a man who will not be a decent role model for them. Of course he would cheat on you again, and if you think your kids wouldn't know something is wrong, you are underestimating your kids.

And DON'T give up your life-dreams for anyone.

 

[bibliophile birds]

what would you do? would you move to somewhere you didnt want to to have a family and may be not happy or go ahead with your life and live ont he 10 acres?

now know that i do love him and from i think he loves me. but i may not be in love with him at the moment

it sounds like you've gotten sound advice from everyone here and have made the right decision. but, to help solidify your decision, i will share what i've been telling my sister lately:

a man who can hurt you to the point where you start to doubt yourself does not love you. a man who loves you the way you should be loved, won't hurt you.

trying to make things work "for the kids" rarely actually works. kids need stability and love. they don't need parents that fight. even if you aren't together, you can provide your kids with what they need, especially if not being together makes you better parents.

there is something to be said for "trying to make it work." you shouldn't give up at the first sign of trouble. but you could try to make it work forever. and he can say he's sorry forever and never mean it enough to change his behavior.

for me, personally, cheating is a one strike offense. either he doesn't love me enough and therefore doesn't deserve me OR he has serious problems that i don't need to take on myself.

the people who deserve your attention and dedication are your kids and yourself. a good man will build you up in both those relationships which, in turn, will build up your relationship with him. anything less isn't worth loosing yourself over.

and, like kcsunshine said, don't give that land up for anyone, especially a two-timing weeny!

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

run from him.

and for the record - i have a chicken that i love. you can love just about anything. you have too much at stake to risk on that kind of "love."

real love cowboy's up and does the right thing - not jerks you around.

since you asked for advice, here you go:

end all those shenanigans with that guy. you arent doing yourself any favors. if total strangers (thats kinda us) can see you are being jerked around you may consider that all this "playing" around has clouded your ability to see what you already know.

demand better for yourself and your kids. there are good and decent men around and you will have zero chance of finding them if you are wasting your time with that guy.

 

[lorihadams]

Once a cheater always a cheater is my general rule of thumb.

Stay where you are. Find yourself a nice farmer type and lose the loser.

 

[ORChick]

I agree with not giving up what you have, and what you want, just to follow this fellow.
What has not been mentioned - and is, I suppose, off topic from the original question, but nonetheless important - is a complete medical check for you if you haven't already done it. As you have been "playing" with a man who has been "playing" with others it is very important that you make sure he hasn't left you any unwelcome "presents".

 

[Mackay]

Even when my husband and I split up for 1.5 years there were no other women, or men for me. He's solid as a rock. The split up was my doing not his... but when he couldn't stand it anymore he called and said it was time for me to make up my mind. Divorce or no.

We got back together. 16 years later doing just fine.

One thing I learned over the years after being badly dumped on when I was young, is that you examine a mans family closely. A good man will most likely have a good family... and also look at how he treats his mother and what he has to say about her....just something to think about. My DH is pure gold in that respect, and really, this has a lot to do with why I chose him.

Our split for a while was mostly based on my own neurosis that is long over now.

Dump this dude. He doesn't know the meaning of the word love and hasn't the backbone for the type of life you seem to want.

Someone is waiting out there for you to stop wasting your time so he can find you.