mrbstephens
Lovin' The Homestead
In 1998 my father left my mother and moved from NY to CA. He slowly built a life for himself and met a girlfriend. I kept very little contact with him. We never had a good relationship and I was angry for years about him leaving. About a year ago he started telling us things that didn't seem to be true. We figured he was just lying and didn't make a big deal of it, it was just annoying. He would tell us that he had sent birthday or Christmas presents every year and every year he'd complain about how slow the mail service was and that it would get returned to him. He'd also talk about all the gifts he was buying his girlfriend's grandchildren. He made me angry that he was giving to them and not to his own grandchildren who he rarely saw. He had financial problems and sometimes didn't pay his bills. Sometimes he'd buy expensive furniture or go to a casino instead of paying his overdue bills. Bill collectors have been calling my mother's house try to collect the debts.
About a year ago my brother went to Florida to celebrate my grandmother's 96th birthday. My father was to come and they were to meet at my grandmother's assisted living apartment. He called my brother to let him know he had arrived at the airport and was on his way in a rental car. He was running late and complained about traffic. Time passed and he still didn't show so my brother called him. He said he was in the building and was on his way up in the elevator. My brother waited at the elevator. The door opened and no one was in it. He called my father again. He said he was still in the elevator and was carrying a heavy plant. He was angry that no one would help him carry it. My brother looked everywhere and couldn't find him. He asked the desk clerk who said that no one of that description was ever seen walking into the building. They drove around the grounds in a golf car looking for my father. He called again......and now he said he was leaving because no one would help him with the plant. He said he was fed up and hopping back on the next plane to California. A couple of hours later we decided to call the police in CA and asked them to check my father's apartment where they found him. So apparently he had never flown to Florida.
S
o, now we were concerned of course. We asked my father to consider moving closer to us. We missed him, he didn't see his grandchildren enough etc.......so he started looking at houses to buy in Maryland. Keep in mind his income and credit are in no way in good enough standing to purchase a house.
Two weeks ago I got a phone call from the police in the Pittsburgh airport. They sad my father was there and he seemed confused. Said his money had been stolen. He kept changing the amount of money that was stolen, then he said it was his wallet and then he said it was checks. We had the police officer put him on the next flight to NY where my brother picked him up. We convinced him to move into a retirement community about 15 minutes away from my house. For the first week he told us about this brand new car he had bought in cash. The second week, there was no more talk about the car. He was now saying he'd like to buy a car once he moved into his apartment. We convince him he needed a current physical in order to be approved for the apartment. I spoke with the nurse ahead of time asking that they test him for memory loss etc. They were unable to do more than just a physical. She said if it's really a problem that he would need to go to a neurologist. She said he seemed fine from what they could tell. That's how he appears to anyone, but for those who knows him, see that something isn't right. My brother convinced him to give him power of attorney so he wouldn't have to worry about his bills any more.
Right now my brother is in California with my father packing up his clothes. He found the camera that had mysteriously gone missing at his wedding over 5 years ago. It was in a shoebox, in a closet. There were pics of the rehearsal dinner on the memory card. My brother had asked him twice when it had gone missing if he was sure he didn't accidentally put it in his pocket. He said no, both times.
He's moving into him apartment on the 10th. We figure we give him time to settle in and then gently suggest he see a neurologist.
I'm wondering if anyone has an experience with this sort of thing? Alzheimer's? Stroke? Dementia? Compulsive lying? (sigh)
About a year ago my brother went to Florida to celebrate my grandmother's 96th birthday. My father was to come and they were to meet at my grandmother's assisted living apartment. He called my brother to let him know he had arrived at the airport and was on his way in a rental car. He was running late and complained about traffic. Time passed and he still didn't show so my brother called him. He said he was in the building and was on his way up in the elevator. My brother waited at the elevator. The door opened and no one was in it. He called my father again. He said he was still in the elevator and was carrying a heavy plant. He was angry that no one would help him carry it. My brother looked everywhere and couldn't find him. He asked the desk clerk who said that no one of that description was ever seen walking into the building. They drove around the grounds in a golf car looking for my father. He called again......and now he said he was leaving because no one would help him with the plant. He said he was fed up and hopping back on the next plane to California. A couple of hours later we decided to call the police in CA and asked them to check my father's apartment where they found him. So apparently he had never flown to Florida.
S
o, now we were concerned of course. We asked my father to consider moving closer to us. We missed him, he didn't see his grandchildren enough etc.......so he started looking at houses to buy in Maryland. Keep in mind his income and credit are in no way in good enough standing to purchase a house.
Two weeks ago I got a phone call from the police in the Pittsburgh airport. They sad my father was there and he seemed confused. Said his money had been stolen. He kept changing the amount of money that was stolen, then he said it was his wallet and then he said it was checks. We had the police officer put him on the next flight to NY where my brother picked him up. We convinced him to move into a retirement community about 15 minutes away from my house. For the first week he told us about this brand new car he had bought in cash. The second week, there was no more talk about the car. He was now saying he'd like to buy a car once he moved into his apartment. We convince him he needed a current physical in order to be approved for the apartment. I spoke with the nurse ahead of time asking that they test him for memory loss etc. They were unable to do more than just a physical. She said if it's really a problem that he would need to go to a neurologist. She said he seemed fine from what they could tell. That's how he appears to anyone, but for those who knows him, see that something isn't right. My brother convinced him to give him power of attorney so he wouldn't have to worry about his bills any more.
Right now my brother is in California with my father packing up his clothes. He found the camera that had mysteriously gone missing at his wedding over 5 years ago. It was in a shoebox, in a closet. There were pics of the rehearsal dinner on the memory card. My brother had asked him twice when it had gone missing if he was sure he didn't accidentally put it in his pocket. He said no, both times.
He's moving into him apartment on the 10th. We figure we give him time to settle in and then gently suggest he see a neurologist.
I'm wondering if anyone has an experience with this sort of thing? Alzheimer's? Stroke? Dementia? Compulsive lying? (sigh)
