raising children to be self-sufficient

[patandchickens]

The thread on green cleaning products, with the comment (quite true) that so many people today were *raised* with the idea that you have to have a closetful of scented special-purpose cleaners rather than just use soap, hot water and elbow grease, got me thinking.

What do you think is important to try to pass along to our kids so that at least their tiny little fraction of the next generation is intelligently self-sufficient, or at least CAPABLE of being so?

I'm not talking about general child-raising goals like "I want to raise a child who is honest, and generous, and so forth". I'm talking about things that specifically relate to the ability to cope with whatever life throws at ya, to live in a simple and straightforward rather than needlessly-complex-or-fancy ways, to be 'self-sufficient' in the broadest sense of what it seems to mean on this forum, you know?

What comes first to my mind is two things:

1) to have been exposed to the simple ways of doing things, enough to be able to do it themselves later in life if they choose.

For instance, to know that hot water, soap and scrubbing DO clean most things To know how to plant seeds and tend plants and harvest them and store them and cook them and eat them. To know how to raise poultry, eat some eggs and hatch chicks from others, and kill, clean and eat some of the birds. To know how to do simple repair-type sewing, simple carpentry, dig a ditch, shingle a roof, salvage something for parts and use them to build something else you need.

2) to discover that they can actually do quite a lot for themselves if they just try, even though the first few times may be a real 'learning experience', and to discover the satisfaction that comes from hard work completed for a good cause.

What comes to your mind?


Pat, tempted to add (though I guess it's more of a general thing than SS-specific) the value of learning to cooperate with people.

 

[freemotion]

The most outstanding gift in ss that my parents gave to me was the clear message that I can accomplish anything (within reason) that I want to and can learn anything I put my mind to if I just do a little research. Back then, that meant a trip to the extension office and a pile of booklets, leaflets, and flyers. Now it would mean some time on the computer. Our local library at that time consisted mostly of romance novels...

Observing them in the researching and learning process, trying things out and problem solving along the way, and involving us kids in projects as appropriate, was very powerful. Observing their enthusiasm and determination....and pushing on in spite of difficulties and failures....stuck with me my entire life.

Many comments and pride at each thing we did ourselves....A subscription to Mother Earth News that was fought over each month....foraged meals and bartered goods and services.....all borne of necessity and hard times, but always with a sense of accomplishment and congratulations and pride.

My parents educated us at every opportunity, it was a constant thing in our house. We were REQUIRED to contribute to the family from a very young age. Not just make our own beds, but do dishes, care for livestock, weed and harvest, glean farm fields, make bread and other things from scratch, stack and bring in wood, make and stoke fires, etc. So any ss project was part of that, we were not observers, but participants.

I won't claim to have done so without whining and complaining....I was a normal teenager, after all! But I am so thankful that my parents never let us get out of our chores. Never.

Now I have the internet, there are so many project I want to try! And when my folks move to the next town over, hopefully soon, I will again be doing projects with my Dad. We will raise and process pigs together, and eventually I will get up the stomach to process my own birds with his help. I am 47 years old. It was a lifetime gift.

Is this what you were looking for?

 

[big brown horse]

Thats great free!

I know I keep bringing up Montessori schools, but that was my life for 15 years, sorry. However, our main goal was to teach children to be as self sufficient as possible. Sewing, cleaning, washing a baby sister or brother, washing dishes, making and serving food, scrubbing tables and so forth. All this as well as the academics too.

One year our school's fund raiser were little tee-shirts that said, "Help me help myself". It was a reminder to parents to teach them life skills at home as well.

I'm in a huge hurry so I will post ideas later. Please keep in mind my "age group" ranged from age 2-6, thats toddlers through 1st grade.

 

[me&thegals]

Great thread idea!

1. First and foremost, our kids just LIVE a greater degree of self-sufficiency throughout their childhood. While I have to read books, research like crazy and figure out ways to make soap, keep bees, raise chickens and turkeys, etc., they will have grown up doing it. It won't be strange or not in their realm of imagination--they will have lived it. So, while it never dawned on me that I could make my own laundry soap, they will have had their clothes washed in it their entire childhood.

2. So, not only will their brains be accustomed to a more SS life, the children will have actually *learned* the skills. My kids (and all of yours, I'm sure) actually KNOW how to hunt for morels and wild asparagus, how to pick any of the 50+ types of fruits and veggies we grow, how to eat them and, at least through observation, how they are prepared. They know how to haul wood and start a fire. They know how to collect eggs and avoid the pecks of a broody hen.

3. Huge one here: They already know the joys of a simpler (in some ways) life. Since they are not part of a consumerist family, they already have learned to enjoy simple things in life. Maybe someday they will yearn for something else. But, at least they will know what great fun, joy and satisfaction this type of life can bring.

4. I think having a simple, centered life, great healthy food, and parents who are around a lot, plus learning skills to do all the above would have to affect a child's sense of well being and self esteem. At least that's what I hope. By the time my kids are ready to go out on their own, they will have the sense that they can accomplish ANYthing!

Great thread!

 

[Big Daddy]

I think kids usually tend to grow up to reflect their parents values. The best way to pass on your values is to spend time with them.Have you ever had one of those "Oh my god I'm turning into my Father or Mother moments". It happens whether you want it to or not. I imagine there are those of us that have had terrible parents and try very hard to be sure we are not like them.

I always pass on stuff to my kids when they're forced to spend time in close proximity to me. My 2 teenagers got a lot of value and life lessons while I was teaching them to drive. At least after we got past the dangerous point.

 

[me&thegals]

How true! I now buy the very same brand of whole-grain bread my mom bought (and I hated!), cook from scratch (we used to crave box mac 'n cheese), have an even bigger garden than at home (which I also hated), etc. We are such products of our upbringing. How can our kids not be?

 

[freemotion]

How true! I now buy the very same brand of whole-grain bread my mom bought (and I hated!), cook from scratch (we used to crave box mac 'n cheese), have an even bigger garden than at home (which I also hated), etc. We are such products of our upbringing. How can our kids not be?

I will never forget the look on my mother's face when my sibsand I raved over our first taste of boxed mac 'n' orange-powdered-crap at a friend's house for dinner. We wanted the hostess to give mom the recipe!!! I didn't know how to interpret the look my mother had, but I sure remember it!!!

 

[FarmerChick]

good thread Pat

I agree with what you said.
Teach them the basics to survive.

For me though, I am not out to make my daughter SS. You know, to love it all and learn it all like me. I am me and Nicole is Nicole.

She will learn the basics, the good values etc. She will grow up with a sense of "I can always learn how to get something done"---she will have the knowledge that nothing is out of her reach. She just needs to go find out how to do something.

One thing she will learn from her childhood is "Less is more." She will have alot of things but she will learn that having less can mean so much more in her life.

Big Daddy is very right. Spending time with the kids and showing just good examples of being a great person. Good examples of how to finish a project etc. Good time management etc.
All passed on by the day to day workings of the family. I never thought I would say the things my Mom said..HA HA HA...we all know that one!

 

[PamsPride]

By the very nature of having 6 kids verse 1 or 2 makes my children more SS and hard working! Lots of mouths to feed, lots of laundry to be done, lots of work to be done and I can't do it all so they have no choice!
One thing I am instilling in my children is to own their own business....whatever it maybe! They will never work as hard for someone else as they will for themselves!
When my DH lost his job last August it was a good life lesson....made it easy to say "You want to own your own business because you don't want to show up some morning and have a boss tell you you no longer have a job!"

 

[punkin]

Alot of the things we do aren't exactly SS. Take for instance, four wheeler racing - lots of money, but it's what DS is most interested in. Now, saying that, we try to be as SS about it as possible. DH is teaching Andy how to build his own motors, make his own repairs, etc. If we go to Nationals next year, we plan on camping and no eating out. Plus, DS will have to come up with his own money for entry fees.

If we said no more racing and made him garden, deal with the chickens, learn how to preserve food, etc., he would be out the door looking for something more exciting. I definitely don't want that.

What your children want to do may not be SS, but you can teach them how to be SS within what they choose. Does that make sense?