raising children to be self-sufficient

[me&thegals]

When my DH lost his job last August it was a good life lesson....made it easy to say "You want to own your own business because you don't want to show up some morning and have a boss tell you you no longer have a job!"

So sorry about that! I hope he has been able to find another job. Just a point from the other perspective, though, is that when you own your own business, sometimes you not only lose your job but have to be the one to let your employees go. My parents are struggling with the difficulty of letting go so many of their employees and going without a paycheck themselves. It's tough for them to try to hang in as long as possible so that when things turn around they still have a business left for their let-go employees.

 

[me&thegals]

What your children want to do may not be SS, but you can teach them how to be SS within what they choose. Does that make sense?

That makes complete sense, and wasn't a perspective I had considered before. No matter what a person's interests, he/she can always be more self sufficient in enjoying them.

 

[FarmerChick]

When my DH lost his job last August it was a good life lesson....made it easy to say "You want to own your own business because you don't want to show up some morning and have a boss tell you you no longer have a job!"

So sorry about that! I hope he has been able to find another job. Just a point from the other perspective, though, is that when you own your own business, sometimes you not only lose your job but have to be the one to let your employees go. My parents are struggling with the difficulty of letting go so many of their employees and going without a paycheck themselves. It's tough for them to try to hang in as long as possible so that when things turn around they still have a business left for their let-go employees.

Yup--tons of bad comes with one's own business.
Barb---the dairy farmer---is having hard times. She and Rex are not pulling a paycheck every other week.....but makes sure her son, Little Rex is getting his paycheck every week.

 

[lorihadams]

My biggest problem in trying to teach my children to live simply is grandparents that think hand me downs are bad and used items are not recycling but a cheap excuse for something better.

My granny actually wanted to get my 2 yr old and my 4 yr old their own tvs for xmas! I forbid her to ever get them a tv for their rooms, ever.

My children have more clothes than they will ever wear, the extra stuff we pass on to friends with younger children and I make my children help me go through them and they love that they are giving things to other children!

I want to get involved in some community work because my parents would never let me do things like that when I was younger. I wanted to work with my dad one summer and he forbid me to (he is a bricklayer) but he let my younger brother. Pissed me off, to be quite honest.

I am trying to teach my children to do things for themselves and raise their own food and save their own money, etc. It is just hard when you have loved ones that constantly undermine what you are trying to do.

 

[FarmerChick]

Lori I know what you mean.

I asked my Mom and Dad why they wanted to "give the world" to the kids.

Mom and Dad said they never had the opportunity to get these things when younger, it wasn't available and hard times were "just terrible".

So they said if they can give it, they will....after all they said it is the way now.

I don't think what we know as SS or "going back to basics" is at all the same for the other generation.

We had it all....we grew up with tons they did not. So to my parents, if you can get it then do it....LOL...if it makes life easier than olden times, then do it.

I like that but every generation grows up thinking so different.

I don't think the "next few generations" will grow up "with what it was like to have horrible times without technology and medical advances etc." that we had.

I just say NO to things and they respect that.

 

[Beekissed]

I think one of the important things I learned while living off grid as a child was this: It is simply amazing what one can live without and still be as happy as a clam!

If you can live your life around that premise, that one can be happy with next to nothing generated by a consumeristic society, then you can adapt to nearly any situation.

This is what I have taught my children. Do not become dependent upon anything to the degree that you start any thought or statement with, "I can't give up.." or "I can't sleep without...." or "I won't do without...." or "I won't live without...." when it pertains to any material object, person or activity of this world.

One never knows when they will indeed have to do without that thing, person or activity and then be forced to adapt unnecessarily. Adapting can be a good but stressful skill, especially when it's a forced activity. Don't be caught unawares and have to adapt when you are most stressed and vulnerable. The best time to develop versatility is not when you are crawling on your hands and knees through the hardest time in your life(the death of a spouse, your house burning down, the loss of an income, etc.)

I have taught them there are only a few things one can depend upon in this world. God is in control and the fact we will all die one day. Every creature on Earth has an appointed time to die. If you know this wisdom, all the other problems in this world fall in line....just think about it. In the broad scheme of things, we are here for a brief time and of this we can be certain. Based on that, what will you do with your time? What will be of big importance to you?

I've taught them to always develop problem solving skills and try to use materials at hand.

These lessons have paid off in so many ways over the years for my children. They all know how to make their own bread from scratch, they know how to grow a garden and food animals, they know how to harvest, preserve, process and, importantly, they know how to kill their own food. They know how to survive both at home and out in the world. They have learned there are very few problems that can't be overcome in one way or another.

My boys have already found that these survival and problem solving skills developed over all these years have benefitted them in college(Joel was the only boy in his dorm building who knew how to do laundry, iron clothing, cook or clean), in basic training(Eli fixed everyone's rifles whenever they broke~he fixed his own with a small stick!) and on the job.

Anyway....this is what I have learned and, hopefully, what I have passed on as my legacy to future generations.

 

[me&thegals]

My biggest problem in trying to teach my children to live simply is grandparents that think hand me downs are bad and used items are not recycling but a cheap excuse for something better.

My granny actually wanted to get my 2 yr old and my 4 yr old their own tvs for xmas! I forbid her to ever get them a tv for their rooms, ever.

It's tough to swim against the current, hey? Without looking like you have deprived kids? Especially living in a culture where "deprivation" is not having brand-new clothes, a TV in your room, I-Pod in your ear and cell phone in your pocket!

 

[FarmerDenise]

I think the best skill you can teach your kids is actually a sense of being a strong and capable self.
Don't do things for them when they cannot do something themselves. Sit with them patiently and help them figure it out. Show them in different ways or have different people show them whatever they are attempting to do at the moment. Do keep your child's interest in mind.
My DD was a girly girl, not me. So I got my DS to help her with the things I was not able to do patiently. A neighbor taught her how to ride the bicycle without training wheels; after asking our permission first. She got to join us in most activities. We did not talk down to her. We supervised more risky activities carefully, like cutting vegetables with a sharp knife or hiking treacherous terrain (we put her on a harness, so if she took a wrong step, we still had hold on her)
Just doing all the activities with your kids, that you normally do and downsizing them a bit, so they can do them too or at least try them out, will teach them that they can try anything. DD's father used to play baseball on a regular basis. He often took DD with him. At some point in the game they would let her bat the ball. When others started bringing their kids, the little ones were included in the game for a short while. Then it would go back to the adults playing their semi serious game. And the kids would go and watch their moms and dads play.

DD is an adult now, and she does all kinds of things I did not expect her to be doing. She has a strong sense of herself and is very capable. She does not live my lifestyle, but she knows that she could, if she had to. And occasionally she does it for fun.
She sews, crochets, cans, dehydrates, gardens, knows how to change the oil in her car and is usually willing to try all kinds of new projects. I am very proud of my daughter. I think she turned out great!

 

[old fashioned]

My mother was raised during the depression and grew up very poor, and at that time lived a very off grid ss life. She in turn, taught me those same skills in what she considered "high times". Even though I've never lived on a farm or raised my own animals (until last month when I got chickens) she'd always tell me her stories about her life growing up on a farm-what to feed or not, how to milk a cow or goat by hand, how to handle a spirited horse, etc. I did learn to garden, can, sew, cook from scratch, chop & haul firewood, fix things and use what's on hand to improvise, etc. I had done all those things for many years as an adult because I enjoyed them not so much out of neccessity. Though now it's more neccessity since we went from 2 person2paycheck house to 4 person1paycheck house. Many people I had met, always gave me strange looks and snide comments about "oh how quaint, my great grandmother used to do that. Did you know, they do have new gadgets now that are more convenient so you don't have too" Sometimes it would make me wonder if I was crazy to be so "old fashioned".

But I was interested in history and how it repeats itself and always figured a "depression" would come again. I wanted to be as prepared as possible and have given thanks many times over for my mothers lessons. I've taught my oldest son aleast some of these same lessons though during better times, and am in the process of teaching my two younger sons these and more. And I'm so glad as I look at most other families that have never had to DO anything for themselves and don't know the first thing about self sufficiency and are now floundering because of the economy. They don't know how to survive and their kids are still demanding everything because nobody knows how to do without those new gadgets.
Sure my kids now think they are being deprived, neglected and down right abused because they don't have everything everyone else does and they have to "work" for what they want. But I know they are learning solid lifelong lessons that can get them thru good times as well as bad. And every once in a while, they have rewarded me with comments like "gee, so and so was going to throw this away, but gave it to me instead. I can fix it up and use it for a project". It's not much, but I know it is getting thru to them and I have to smile and say thank you.

 

[me&thegals]

You're doing a GREAT job, old fashioned. Growing up, I did not appreciate at all the hard work we were expected to do while our friends didn't have much expected. I wanted designer clothes, not the affordable ones. I am so, so, SO glad for those lessons now, though, as I'm sure your children will be when they're all grown up.