Struggling Family in Economy

[glenolam]

I bet they have free lunch. I would have to be doing REALLY badly to put my kids on it.

It'd be nice if we could all acknowledge that their numbers don't mean very much in comparison to each of our own lives unless we know their property taxes, sales tax, cost of living, etc.

X2.

I saw your post on building a house for a little less than that and having a 20 yr mortg. I completely agree that it IS do-able, depending on what's included in the mortg (taxes, insurance) and how well you save if those things aren't included.

Your point above (knowing their numbers) is very good.

It's about knowing your means, your area, and your ability to adapt to certain situations should you have to.

(Edited....my gosh I can't spell worth a lick today)

 

[raro]

I wish I could figure out who said it, but I have always loved the quote:

"You can tell the amount of decay in a society by the rate at which luxuries become necessities."

I think it is very apt in this country right now.

 

[Jared77]

For starters one of the people the story was about was talking about not caring if they took the car or ate dog food because they'd fight to keep the house. Seriously? Your unable to feed your children properly because your worried about the house? What good is your own room if you go to bed in it hungry?

Thats problem 1. Your fighting a losing fight to keep something that probably doesn't have the same value your paying on it. Even if it does hold its value you can't afford it, its not going to get better. Your only punishing your family by stubbornly holding onto something you can't afford.

I can understand how they fell into that trap. You go from making 9 bucks an hour, and for a while was making almost 3 times that in the construction industry. We all want the best for our kids and I can see how they bought that house thinking it was a dream come true. They probably counted on overtime being there too. I hate to say it but its time to go back to making 9 bucks an hour and living in that "crappy apartment" so you stop taking on any new debt and can get your feet on firmly on the ground so you can actually make progress, instead of clawing at the ground as you slowly sink into oblivion and lose everything. And by everything I mean your kids who are failing in school, your marriage, your sanity. Its just a house. If you on with things and make the right decisions you could buy another one. Probably not as big, but at least you'd have your own space and the enjoyment of not fighting with your spouse over issues that come with being broke with the one your currently in.

Right now your just throwing good money after bad. There is no excuse for a bare fridge if you have income coming in. Shame on them. Thats inexcusable selfishness and I find that behavior disgusting. If I had that kind of income or lack of income for that matter Id walk away from that house. Your credits already shot, so why hold onto something that isn't holding its value or your family has to starve so you can stay living there? I did. I had to when I lost my job. I could no longer afford the payments, my credit was shot to pieces so why fight to stay some place that I realistically couldn't afford to maintain long term and throw good money away on a bad investment? Yes it was tough but honestly getting that deadweight off my neck was the best thing I did. At the time I wasn't happy about it, but looking back on it, yes I'm glad I did it and Id do it again. I made that tough decision but honestly it was the best one I could have made for us as a whole.

Because I walked away I was able to pay off my other debts, freeing up more income so I could get back on my feet and be that much farther ahead of the game than I ever would have been if I fought to stay in the house I had before. The property was valued at just over 1/2 of what I'd paid for it, and it was killing me to stay current with the mortage. And we had a 30 year fixed not some adjustable loan either. I didn't have an wiggle room if something went wrong. Its about priorities and what your willing to do. It was absolutely the most humbling experience Ive had to date living back at home with my folks but that sacrifice was only 18 months and I look back on that time as a transition period in my life. They offered to help me and I had to swallow my pride and make the sacrifice necessary to get out and get ahead of the game. That transitition period changed my life and now I'm a better person for it, and obviously doing much better because of it too.

And until these folks realize they are not going to get ahead, and mentally hit that point where they say enoughs enough and its time get past this, they are going to continue to suffer. I hope they will see the light and have the strength to see the changes through so they can get past what they've had to deal with.

The overly inflated good times are gone and they ain't comin' back. Things have changed. They couldn't keep going on like they did. Unfortunately it caught up with us and now its time we pay the piper. The good old days are long gone, but its how we react and deal with them now that define who we are. Those of us who work hard, put our heads down and are willing to work at it for pay out in the long haul will be better off. Those of us who get upset at what we lost and focus on that are doomed to dwell on our losses and will never be successful. Until you realize what you have instead of what you lost your not really living. Your mourning. Its time we stop mourning and get on with living.

 

[MsPony]

You can't buy a trailer home hereabouts for $175k . . .

Holy smokes!!! - where do you live? We have some great homes here in beautiful rural Indiana, both modular and stick-built that are on 1, 2, and 3 acres for $60k to $100k.

Anna lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. Having lived there myself for more than 25 years I can say that it is one of the most expensive places in the US to live. I've been away from there for 9 years, so can't say what the prices are currently. Big reason we moved away: we had a choice of retiring early, and no longer living there, or staying , and working till or beyond retirement age. Couldn't have stayed and retired.

Santa Barbara is worse. Land here is 1 million an acre, LITERALLY! Price point goes UP for less then an acre. My property is worth $1.5 million in the bad economy!! (My grandpa bought it 50 years ago btw lol, no mortage.)

People can understand why I want to leave so bad.

 

[MsPony]

Cant**

 

[Wallybear]

My house (family of 6) brings in a little more than 30K a year and we live high on the hog. We rent a nice place in town for now ( recently moved due to health) have nice vehicles to drive, we eat the very best food as much as we want and we still have 800-1000 per month of expendable cash. Some of that goes into preps, some gets invested, depending how we feel that month. My kids have the best of everything that they need and a little bit of what they want.

I just can not understand how someone would have a problem surviving on this kind of money. We do not take any kind of assistance. When we see the doctor, we tell them it is a cash appointment and pay for it when we are there.

We do not live poor. 52" flat screen tv with 360 channels per month. Wife and I both have laptops and high speed internet.We both have high end phones but a good plan. I buy a new gun every other month or when the mood strikes me. We go out to eat about once a week and go to the theater at least once every 2 months.

Part of where we make it is that we are not clothes horses, we do not have animals to take care of, we pay cash for vehicles and never spend more than 2-3k for them. We do not have credit cards. We eat the best food, but we do not buy prepackaged food. I fish and hunt a lot and that helps cut costs as well I suppose. We do not take a lot of trips. We do not buy a lot of things that do not have value. We stay out of the convenience stores.

The true trick to living well on what you have is tithing. Give back to God first and you will never want or need.

 

[Boogity]

I wish I could figure out who said it, but I have always loved the quote:

"You can tell the amount of decay in a society by the rate at which luxuries become necessities."

I think it is very apt in this country right now.

That's a great quote!!! And here in the USA we are drowning in foolish luxuries the have become even more foolish necessities.

 

[Dunkopf]

Great point Jared. I didn't understand why they were holding onto the house either. Our house is upside down by about 100k. We have thought about walking away, but the cost of renting a house plus the extra tax we would pay is within 200.00 of what our mortgage is. We can keep animals here and don't have to worry about a landlord that doesn't fix the water heater or all the stuff that comes with renting.

If they drop the mortgage interest deduction like they have discussed, then we will stop making payments and save the payments until we get evicted. We will also stop paying on credit cards. After that it will be off to BK court. Our credit will be shot anyway so who cares. I'll find a landlord that needs a renter and pay 1 year in advance with the money I've saved.

I've heard too many people talk about losing jobs then going through their safety net savings paying their mortgage and not finding a job. If I lost my job and couldn't get another in 1 month, I would go into survival mode and not pay anything except gas and electric. You have to live with what you got. Once I was evicted I would also pack up the family and move to some really cheap place to live, where you could buy a house for 40k or rent for 500.00 a month.

It's all about doing whatever you need to do to survive.

 

[Jared77]

If they drop the mortgage interest deduction like they have discussed, then we will stop making payments and save the payments until we get evicted. We will also stop paying on credit cards. After that it will be off to BK court. Our credit will be shot anyway so who cares. I'll find a landlord that needs a renter and pay 1 year in advance with the money I've saved.

I'm glad its not just me that thinks this way. When your credits blown of out of the water, you cut your losses and circle the wagons. Until then your going to be under assault and unable to defend yourself. Your aboslutely right you go through bankruptcy and rebuild where you can.

I've heard too many people talk about losing jobs then going through their safety net savings paying their mortgage and not finding a job. If I lost my job and couldn't get another in 1 month, I would go into survival mode and not pay anything except gas and electric. You have to live with what you got. Once I was evicted I would also pack up the family and move to some really cheap place to live, where you could buy a house for 40k or rent for 500.00 a month.

It's all about doing whatever you need to do to survive.

I couldn't imagine doing going through everything either. I might make it 2 months before going into survival mode but my wife and I have already had that exact discussion and thats our plan if things fall apart for us. We're both in stable jobs (she's an RN and I'm a Paramedic) so as long as we can work we'll have a job somewhere. But if something were to happen thats exactly what we'd do. We refuse to let any material possession drag us down that far. No possession is worth that.

 

[lwheelr]

If they drop the mortgage interest deduction like they have discussed, then we will stop making payments and save the payments until we get evicted. We will also stop paying on credit cards. After that it will be off to BK court. Our credit will be shot anyway so who cares. I'll find a landlord that needs a renter and pay 1 year in advance with the money I've saved.

I can't see how an honest person could do this. If you declare bankruptcy, you have to declare all your assets, which go to settling the debts. You can't go pay a year's rent with money you've saved unless you lie in the bankruptcy court about your assets.