Sufficient Self Forum - Let's have a heart-to-heart

[miss_thenorth]

I have been on SS for quite a while before I became a member. An avid reader of the site. I am on TEG, BYC, BYH and of course here on SS. For those of you who visit BYH, you know that I am a huge participant there. I do live the SS lifestyle to the best of my current ability, so to think that I do not because I do not post heavily here would be incorrect. Nifty asked me to be a mod here as well since I'm frequently on the site even though I don't post a lot.

You all asked me to tell you about myself after this blowup and so I posted an introduction to myself and I gave it to you. Now several have demanded an apology. If giving members warnings for rule violations hurt their feelings then I will apologize for hurt feelings.

Mods here and on all of the sister sites are volunteers who do not read every thread or post nor are we assigned to read any specific section. I responded to reports of outright flaming / trolling and other rule violations. Never did I ban anyone or send ANY nasty PMs. There seems to have been a lot of stuff go on behind the scenes that even the mods / admins here are not fully aware of. This site like the sister sites has rules that all members agreed to when they signed up. Members who left did so of their own accord and for reasons obviously well beyond me. While I'm slightly flattered that so much of the blame is laid at my feet by some, there is a lot of misinformation going around.

I first came to this site to LEARN. I became a mod to help it GROW.

I think it's time for you to move on. Does being SS mean holding grudges for a perceived hurt? I come here to learn to make soap and cheese. To learn different techniques for canning. To learn tips that I may not have known before. I'm sorry if you feel that my not being a heavy poster on this site makes me less SS. I personally think it's time to quit dancing and get back to what this site is about - learning how to be SS. If you haven't been on BYH in a while, maybe you should check it out and see how it's grown. Check out some of the ideas that I've run with to help it grow as part of the team of staff with the full support of it's members. I would love to help SS grow in a similar manner as part of the team of staff here with support of the members.

With ALL due respect, this post is NOT helpful. I understand you are upset, but this post will only fuel the fire.

 

[Wifezilla]

I think it's time for you to move on

I already did darlin'. Bless your heart.

 

[Wannabefree]

elevan, I don't think anyone said you sent nasty PM's. I think the referrence to nasty PM's was from members to other members, not mods...except the instance free quoted, which I had no idea about until this thread

I think lots of folks just got hurt feelings over the photo because everyone thought it was okay and couldn't understand why anyone would be reprimanded for that. Then you kinda disappeared until the mess hit the fan and then you posted the intro thread.

Speaking for myself, I'm glad you came on here and addressed it. I think it is very honorable to have done so.

And folks, the post over in the now locked thread about kstaven and Nifty was a Parody....it WASN'T real, NOT TRUE. It was a JOKE...making fun of the picky crap going on between members and mods. I need to work on my timing Then you all wanna get serious all of a sudden...

 

[ksalvagno]

Personally, I think there is a natural turnover of forums no matter what forum it is. I don't think it matters what the reason. Sometimes it is a dramatic exit, sometimes not.

 

[elevan]

I did NOT send that PM that Freemotion quoted. Let me be clear on that. If another mod sent that then it was wholly inappropriate imo.

I also did not make the call regarding the POW pic, Nifty did. Although I did address some inappropriate chatter about it on the POW thread. When I addressed that chatter and made reference to giving warnings I had no idea that the infraction system had not been addressed as yet to the members. Bad timing on my part.

Why did I "disappear" for a while and not speak up? Because members decided that this blow up was all my fault and I was graciously trying to let the waters calm. But it keeps being brought up again and again. And each time my role in it seems to get bigger and bigger. It's become a tall tale of sorts on this board. Fiction far outweighs facts on a lot of it.

I'm sorry if my timing was bad on the infraction system announcement. I'm sorry for hurt feelings. But I am not sorry for addressing glaring violations of rules that help make this board an enjoyable place. A place that I no longer enjoy.

 

[kstaven]

Personally I want to know who sent the PM free speaks of. If it was a mod it was way out of line and needs to be dealt with.

What I can say is that it was not reported or passed on to the other mods. I hope it is, so that issue can be dealt with.

This is one of the biggest issues as I see it here. Over the past year or so there has been a total lack of constructive communication between members and staff. So shall we get on with that and get issues resolved for those who wish to stay here and enjoy this forum?

 

[Wannabefree]

I did NOT send that PM that Freemotion quoted. Let me be clear on that. If another mod sent that then it was wholly inappropriate imo.

I also did not make the call regarding the POW pic, Nifty did. Although I did address some inappropriate chatter about it on the POW thread. When I addressed that chatter and made reference to giving warnings I had no idea that the infraction system had not been addressed as yet to the members. Bad timing on my part.

Why did I "disappear" for a while and not speak up? Because members decided that this blow up was all my fault and I was graciously trying to let the waters calm. But it keeps being brought up again and again. And each time my role in it seems to get bigger and bigger. It's become a tall tale of sorts on this board. Fiction far outweighs facts on a lot of it.

I'm sorry if my timing was bad on the infraction system announcement. I'm sorry for hurt feelings. But I am not sorry for addressing glaring violations of rules that help make this board an enjoyable place. A place that I no longer enjoy.

See I told ya'll on the other thread it was Nifty's fault

I know alot about bad timing!!!

There are lots of other underlying issues around here too, elevan. Sorry if you felt everyone was just blaming you. Part of this whole thing had nothing to do with that incident at all.

 

[elevan]

There are lots of other underlying issues around here too, elevan. Sorry if you felt everyone was just blaming you. Part of this whole thing had nothing to do with that incident at all.

You know that's something that staff needs to be aware of. Too often things are happening that aren't getting reported...if part of this whole thing had nothing to do with that incident at all then what is that "part" that we are missing. Because it keeps being dragged back up for some reason.

 

[Wannabefree]

There are lots of other underlying issues around here too, elevan. Sorry if you felt everyone was just blaming you. Part of this whole thing had nothing to do with that incident at all.

You know that's something that staff needs to be aware of. Too often things are happening that aren't getting reported...if part of this whole thing had nothing to do with that incident at all then what is that "part" that we are missing. Because it keeps being dragged back up for some reason.

I don't know specifics, but like Free posted some incidents I didn't know about, there are ther issues. Some, I catch bits and pieces, but not enough to report anything, and nothing I personally have issue with I really TRY to stay out of most of the drama...but still sometimes get sucked into the abyss with everyone else.

I think mods need to be more approachable sometimes, and members need to remember mods are human too.

 

[okiegirl1]

but what about when things are reported and nothing is ever done?

this 'hikerchic', 'organickale', (and several other name. I can get you a list if you'd like) has repeatedly stirred the pot, caused trouble, got banned then came back as another name. It has been brought more times than I can count, reported and yet nothing is done.