Sunsaver, Livining Off-Grid In Suburbia- Happy Taconight America!

[so lucky]

Sunsaver, I don't usually read folks' journals, simply due to not being able to sit in front of a computer very long. But I was thinking about you the other day after noticing that you had not been posting for a long time. I almost wrote a post asking if anyone had heard from you...but since I hadn't kept up with your journal, etc, I figured it wasn't really mine to ask. So then the next day in the "new posts" section I see your journal that says you are back. So I have been reading it, and enjoying it a lot. You have a wonderful way with words which allows the reader to picture your home and gardens. I hope your health continues to improve. If you care to share any info on the natural remedies and herbs you have used, you will have many readers. But perhaps starting that kind of thing in a new thread would help other occasional readers like me be able to find your suggestions. I think there are others on this forum that are proficient in herbal remedies, too. And many of us who want to learn all we can. It could be a joint effort..........

 

[sunsaver]

Thanks, So lucky. I enjoy writing in my journal, and i usually just read other journals and troll the latest topics. I don't often offer any commentary, except maybe to say hi on other journals. The exception is when i think i am an expert on that particular subject, in which case good-luck getting me to shut-up. Maybe i will start some new threads, now that i have net connection at home again. I'm sure there is already an herbal medicine thread on here. Icudze (city boy on farm) is a real doctor, so put medical questions to him. As for myself, i believe that diet and excercise can cure anything short of a cut artery. Excessive bleeding is about the only way to get me into a hospital except maybe the in the back of the Coroner's van. There is no illness caused by a deficiency of toxic chemicals, so a pill can't cure anything. One of the best tricks for a self-sufficient person to learn is how to use the placebo effect on yourself- "Doctor, heal thyself!" Hiccups, the common cold, acid reflux, most common afflictions never hit me simply because i don't believe in them anymore. If i get the sniffles, i just eat a berry and tell myself that it will cure me, in such a convincing manner that i believe it. For hiccups, read the following passage to the victim and it will cure them:

"Close your eyes. Relax. Take a deep breath. Try to visualize a circle being drawn on the back of your eyelids. Watch it going around and around, very slowly. Roll your eyes around and around, and try to see the circle inside your eyes. Take another deep breath and just relax. Focus on your eyes. Let them gently roll around in their sockets, around and around, over and over. There! Your hiccups are gone!"

You'll be shocked to find that in 99.9% of cases, the answer is "Wow! They really are gone!" It's a simple hypnotism trick, but it always works if you are even half way convincing. Ive cured dozens of drunks with hiccups, though it can take a bit longer to get a really drunk person to focus and listen to what i tell them to do. You hate cigarettes. Tomorrow you will wake up and decide to never smoke again. You will throw them out and give them a small memorial ceremony. You will get out a sheet of paper and write on it the following words:"I quit smoking on 5/19/2012, and i never smoked again."

Bet you didn't know i could hypnotize you over the internet!

 

[sunsaver]

Slow day today. Only two customers all day. But i sold enough plants to ensure that Senoir El Gato gordo and The Monkster will be able to eat real meat with me tonight. It's Taconight in America, folks! Saturday is always Cinco de Mayo in this country, even if there isn't any "to-kill-ya" on tap at the bar. My liver can't take anymore of the cheap, Russian jetfuel that i that i used to drink; and besides, i feel so healthy now i don't ever want that perpetual hangover sort of feeling again, a sort of annoying droning, like standing in line behind a whiney customer while your so-called "fast-food" sits on the counter in front of you, getting cold. It's a whole new life for me. Starting now, lets see how long my little sliver of liver will last. Six nights per week of collard greens and dandelions, peppers, onions, carrots and herbs, all from my own front and back yard. One night out of seven, for the irresistable primal urge to build a fire outside and eat some cheap protien. Grilling is part of what makes this America. It's like apple pie, or fireworks; only American because we do them so well. If you're a vegan, just throw on some squash and onions and a couple tofurkey burgers. Everything's going to be just fine. We got ripe blueberries AND blackberries at the same time, (super awesome, praise the Lord), and homegrown oragano and jalepeno to go with my powdered achiote and cumin. All i need is cheese and sour cream and it's on! Welcome to Taconight in America!

"Meow!"
"It's not time to eat yet, Monkey."
"Meow!"
"What meat? I'm just lighting the fire."
"Meow?"
I haven't even been to the grocery yet"
"ow," she said, sort of mumbling, then she pinned her ears back into a frown and started licking her paw.
She looked angry, like a cartoon of a witch's cat, or a cursed reincarnation of the Queen of Sheba, even down to her shiney black hair, seemingly combed into chromatic waves, flowing lines in the raked pebbles of a Japanese rock garden, strings of perfect ebony pearls.
"You're so beautiful!" I sang out aloud. "Are you my monkey, my sweet and gorgeous beautyqueen?"
"Meow!" She replied.
"I thought you were!" And so it goes, somewhat limited in vocabulary, but entertaining enough for myself finding her easy to read. She seems to be so much more intelligent than the average cat that i believe she has learned how to intentionally get me to respond in the proper manner to her deman...er uh, her requests. I am now merely her human robot, programmed to deliver food and water, open and close doors, and other man-servant tasks on demand, as if she's ordering up moo shoo pork take-out and a boxing match. I did teach her how to ask for certain things. I trained her how to put her paws up on the door when she wants out, but i think the training is going both ways with my sweet, little Lady Friday, as we both learn how to communicate.
Here comes El Gordo, my fat and orange housecat, strutting his stuff like a poser on the shore. Any more meat on that cat and he would be mistaken for a real Bengal tiger, a loose mascot, just escaped from the zoo. He is now asking me to put food on the fire using the intergalactically recognized sign for "let's eat!", licking his lips and drooling.

:yummy:

 

[sunsaver]

Title:

Off-Grid 101- The Basics.

Outline:

1. The Basics of Survival
2. Living, lighting, and off-grid entertainment
3. Sustainable Gardening for the Home Kitchen Orchard
4. Alternative Energy and the Electronic Arts
Additional chapters added as needed.

Preface:

I can only write about my own experiences with any authority. I have no Master's degree and no paperwork attesting that i have officially sold out to any state or corporation; so if i state something as fact, it will just be facts as in science facts, reproducable by anyone; or common facts, as in widely believed to be true by the majority of expert opinion. For example: wikipedia, or held up as true in the most popular reference works such as "Webster's Dictionary" or "World Book Encyclopedia". I will try to state my opinion as matter of fact only; but if i personally have a bad experience, i will not hesitate to name names. For Example, i think BestBuy better streamline it's customer service department and stop preloading virus-like apps on the defective computers that it sells, or Walmart will put them out of business. If i was a shareholder, i would be writing a letter to the CEO: "Dear Sir, A person should not have wait in line for 15 minutes while some kid calls four different people for help. Are we closing on a new car deal here, selling a twenty paged warranty and salvation plan? I don't have time for this. I have hungry cats at home. Is this the waiting room @ the Doctor's office? The sign say's "Customer Service" not "wait here for hair and teeth removal." There should be a person or two in the back who can track down vendors and get returns settled. The doorperson just greets friendly and puts on a sticker. Therefore the counterperson should only have to say: "yes, no, sorry, or here's your store credit. Thanks for shopping at BetterThanBestBuy!"

He just asked her for her life's story and she's just old enough to repeat parts of it. This line of two customers and one former and very disgruntled one is not going anywhere today. I guess i'll have to void my warranty, get out my multimeter, and cut open this stupid adapter to find out whats really going on. There should be a small transformer and a simple bridge rectifier inside. That's it. But it seems that some knucklehead decided it would be a good idea to over-complicate things by putting a computer chip in there-
"Hey, this chip will moniter the incoming sine wave, and if there's any noise in the signal, it will latch a FET gate to shut the power off!"
"A built-in surge suppressor? Great idea! Do it!"
"We can also put a high impedance, 60 Hertz notch filter on the power cable..."
"But wouldn't that will make it impossible to use a solar powered inverter with simulated sign wave to charge the battery?"
"If it does, it just means they'll have to buy our more expensive, true-sine inverter." Replied the engineer, with a wink wink and a "nudge, aye! Know what I mean?" I understand the profit motive, the problems of knowing too much or getting paid too much, the evolution of emergent complexity, even while computers still hold out the promise of making life more simple, slower and more enjoyable. That is my goal in writing this short text of Off-Grid Living- making life more enjoyable for those who are interested in being more independant. I hope i can make it entertaining for you, and not too embarassing to my future self. Please excuse any misspellings until i can spell check the final product of my lisdexia. Almost nothing in the English language is spelled the way it's pronounced, so that's why i never learned how to spell. Learning to read was very difficult to me as a child because i couldn't even make out what the words were. Were it not for Seasome Street, i probably would have been tossed into a bin with the other idiots.

 

[sunsaver]

My nieghbor thinks he is a shepherd in the highlands, directing a workingdog with a family secret whistlecode: "Tweet twitter,' a pause, then "Tweet tweet!" I'm thinking 'yeah, i saw that episode of Nova on PBS too. You're not some Dog Whisperer you know?" A snarky thing to think. All quite now except for the birds, a great many, even a woodpecker playing the bongo drums in cool funkybeat rythm. "Sigh". Nice to chillax and breath clean air, out away from work and the city, listen to mockingbirds whispering "that you, boo?" Earlier today i noticed that some plants were looking dry, so i walked over to my old galvanized steel watering can (i recently repaired the salvaged item with some silver solder and a propane torch. No more leaking). When i bent over to pick up the can, Monkeygirl let out a yelp.
"Meeow!"
"What now!" I said, sort of grouchy, "you want some wah wah?"
"Meow."
"Yeah, i hear how you changed your tone of voice" If she could talk for real it would be all about her and she would never shut up, but she's so pretty to look at that i would be happy to sit there all day and listen to her. I put the watering can on the ground and clicked the handle over to make a familiar "clank" sound. If nothing else works on a hot day, that noise always brings her running up to greet me, but this time she was already there and she started lapping it up. I leaned over and stroked her back gently. "You like that wah wah?" i asked.
"Slurp, slurp, slurpidy-slurp."
"I guess i'll take that as a "yes". I am convinced that this animal knows as many or more words than the average dog. She's like a fairly smart dog, or what i would call a" Supercat". Some freak mistake in her gene coding unleashed dormant, prehistoric abilities. She can smell tuna a full 10 nanoseconds before the can opener has actually punctured the top of the can. I suspect this must be some sort of 4d sampling of the quantum time holograph, but how anyone can know what's going to happen before it does is beyond me. This cat and a lady i once knew. Precongnition is not my field of study, nor do i know anything more about it than what ive seen, so its all just majic to me. If i really knew anything about it i would have gone to Vagas and took a chance on trading my kneecaps for a couple hundred grand. As it is, i got here to my early semi-retirement the hard way, by wearing out what was once a fairly strong back, and doing the Dave Ramsey thing. Everything's been paid off except the IRS, and i'm sending them what i can. There is no mortgage, no credit card bills, no water bill, no electric bill. Just wish i had a dairy farmer who likes berries. "A pint for a gallon? Sounds fair to me!"

So nice to sit in the shade typing, as the cool air sinks past me on it's way to the creek just on down the trail from me. The undisturbed woods transports me back to old days of camping out for real, even though it's technically just a suburban backyard, and camping is against the building restrictions. It's more like i have the best of both worlds. Not really camping if there is a roof over my head, and a left over slice of mulberry pie, cooling it's heels in the icebox.
"All residences must have electric service."
"Innocent again, your Honor. As anyone can see; my electric service is backed up by batteries, so i always have electric service, even when my nieghbor's lights go out during a storm.
"Your nieghbors aren't the ones who are on trial here, Mr. Sunsaver. No drilling allowed."
"Good thing i dug my well by hand then, just like those Mexican guys in that Youtube video. I did not do any drilling."
"Case dismissed!" Whump goes the gavel. Pretty cool judge. I'm glad he was so liberal minded. No more corporate wage slavery for me. Free free free, everythings free for me. Well, as free as my back can handle. Guess i better get back to putting down roots. Grapes don't grow on winetrees and the berries don't seed themselves. Basil, sage, rosemary, dill, and other slowmovers to put in the ground. Check yall out later!

Chapter One: The basics of Survival

There have been so many books on survival published lately that to add to the knowledge out there on this subject is nearly impossible. Here i will only distill the best bits of wisdom and important topics as a general overview of the subject, which has become very popular in recent times for various reasons. A sudden change in your personal situation, loss of a job, divorce, or even a simple power outage could give you the desire to be more self-reliant. Whatever your reason for being interested in survivalism, i hope you will enjoy the comfort that comes from knowing how to survive in almost any environment or condition. The skills of the survivalist's manual are the foundation that off-grid living is built from. To me, learning is the most fun part of any hobby, except gettting that one toy that makes all the other bits work right finally, that darned keydate lincoln S-VDB. Planning a trip is half the fun. But before you ditch your day job or jump out a window because you can't complete your coin collection, start out with the very basics of survival: the ability to secure food, water and shelter.

Food should be fresh and locally obtained as much as possible, and imported foods should be suitably prepaired for long-term storage and emergence use only. Finding local food means that you should know how to identify and locate all of the common edible herbs and fruits found in your part of the world, as well as knowing how to construct simple weapons and traps for hunting. Flint knapping classes are availabe, videos of how to hunt and trap, how to construct a bow and arrow, a sling and shot, a stone axe, etc. Learning as many of these skills as possible could serve you well in an emergency. Many people, myself included, live in urban areas where hunting and trapping are not allowed, so i will only discuss foraging, gardening, and dumpster diving. Another way to secure foood in an urban environment is by begging for money or food. That's the laziest way to survive, by just making up a good sob story: "wife is pregnant. Ran out gas just a mile back..." same tune for hobos since the crash of 29. Good-hearted suckers are born every minute, knowingly passing out quarters for cheap vodka and glass pipes. I was working at a gas station right after Katrina hit, so i know how low people can get. Don't let yourself ever go there. Looking out for number one is the new golden rule for the survivalist. How can you be self-reliant if you are depending entirely on the kindness of strangers and your own ability to lie, even only to yourself?

I won't dwell on drinking water from public fountains or explain how to make a solar still or bio-sand filter for safely drinking out of a ditch, but i will talk about dumpster diving do's and don'ts. Do cut off brown or slimy parts of old vegetables, then cook them in a stew which has been brought to a boil for at least a couple of minutes. Unless the vegetables were previously in cans or frozen, they are not likely to have any botulinum toxins, nor anything more harmful than simple microscopic bugs such ameobas and E. Coli bacteria, which are easily destroyed by cooking. The exception would be dumpsters behind hospitals, schools, public buildings and institutions, or commercial and industrial areas. Don't eat food from a dumpster that has any hazmat or biohazard symbols on it (insert link here) Dumpsters behind grocery stores and restaurants are the safest bets for fresh vegetables that are only just past their peak freshness, but otherwise safe to eat. All meat should be cooked before eating, though the appearance of maggots might indicate that the flavor will be "off". Don't eat anything from a dumpter if you smell bleach or other cleaner-like or soap-like smells or chemical odors. Many household cleaning products, shampoos, medicines, etc, are very toxic and can make you sick or even kill you. As a general rule, processed foods that were previously dry are safe to eat: stale cookies, chip bags, candies and other sorts of foods packaged in plastic are often safe to eat, as well as out-dated can-goods that are not rusted or swollen and have their seals intact.
I don't ever plan on doing any dumpster diving, but then i just find such good stuff all the time: tools, furniture, even working appliances or nice antiques in need of a stitch or two. But when it comes to food, nothing beats the taste of a homegrown tomato. Key to that is having a home and a kitchen garden, even if it's just an apartment patio or window box with a few culinary herbs. Knowing how to grow your own fruits and vegetables is essential to becoming self-sufficient. There is a ton of growing advice out there, most of it anectdotal, misleading, or even downright false. What works for one gardener in one micro-climate, might fail for gardeners just one county over. Container gardening is another set of special skills entirely, requiring careful attention to how much water, when to water, and how much fertilizer to use (organic gardening in containers is nearly impossible). I only have two tricks for great container gardening: a quality brand of moisture retentive growing media, like the Pro-mix medias from premier, and Ozmocote or similar brand of slow-release fertilizer. However; if you have a small courtyard, a lawn wasting away in grass, or a less than lovely flower bed that grows tall weeds, you have the perfect opportunity to start to growing things in a sustainable way.

"Sustainable" in simple terms, means that there are no chemical salts added to the soil, which could eventually render it useless by killing all of the beneficial critters that make the soil's ecosystem function properly. Nothing beats a huge population of earthworms when it comes to making soil thats rich and black enough to grow just anything. It also means that the garden is not dependant on pesticides or herbacides that are made from non-replaceable petroleum. But the real payback for a little advance planning and hard work is not all the money saved on chemicals, but the peace of mind knowing that there's no poison on your food.

Prepare the garden soil in new ground during the fall, a few months before the spring of your first organic garden. This will allow MotherNature to do most of the "organic" work and benefits for you, allowing you to lounge by the pool drinking iced-tea and surfing the internet, something easier and better smelling than importing manure from a horse stable. A good combination of green and brown compost materials are readily available in nearly every suburban neighborhood, in the form of grass clippings and chopped leaves, often mowed up and bagged in one by the lawn service. I also go around and rake up my nieghbor's leaves. They are happy to see them go, and i'm glad to get the worm feed for free. The dead leaves of fall are the best way to feed the large nightcrawlers, my pet earthworms that feed me in return. As the leaves compost over the winter, the black pile of rotten leaves and woody bits will become food for the millions and millions of tiny creatures that live in the soil.
Take some time to collect the leaves and spread a layer of them at least six inches deep over the entire area where the new vegetable bed will be. If it takes a few days, a little bit per day, that's fine. Don't skimp on the leaf-litter, because once the pile is made, your job is over. While you sit all cozy in your cave, tent, or cabin all winter, the bacteria, fungi, and earthworms will till the soil for you, even fertilize it. When the spring arrives, any weeds or grasses will be dead (use newspapers over lawn turf such as St. Augustine, but if you have Bermuda grass on your property, sell it and buy a different piece of property). Simply rake back the dry, leaf-litter mulch off the top of the new garden area, leaving behind the black compost and worm-castings, the little balls of mud that will be everywhere. That's the worm-poo, blackgold to an organic gardener, as good as food in the pantry to a survivalist.

 

[sunsaver]

Good morning, or i guess i should say that every morning that i wake up is a good morning considering all the times i tried to drink myself to death with vodka but only succeeded in getting a hangover. That's the theory at least, that alcoholics are secretly suicidal. I thought i was just having fun, but that's how the universe works: "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction", basic rocket science. Have fun now, pay for it equally in your sorrows tomorrow. Better to take the middle path of the Budda, not too happy, not too sad, rather than the bi-polar, rollercoaster-ride of an addict's life. Clean living, a straight enough line with reason, not too far right or left. Reminds me of a song: "here i am, stuck in the middle with you." Trying to hang on to that last little slice of liver. My new lifestyle has me up at 6am every morning and in bed not long after sunset. I often get enough things done before lunchtime that it's almost like having two days for the price of one. Having my health is enough by itself to make me thankful. I really do mean it today when i say "Good morning."

Dog sitting this week. Two squirrel chasing terriers: a miniature fox and a rat terrier. They are very energetic, but well behaved and sharp as tacks. I have to keep them up front in order to have my Monkey on the ground. Any whiff of dogbreath and she will run away screaming "argh" faster than Lucy in a Peanuts cartoon. Right now she is sitting beside me half asleep, wondering where all the birds have gone. It's cool and quiet with a nice breeze. I will be heading to work for a few hours today, not because i really the need the money, but only because i want to get a new gadget or two. I would like to get a good digital camera so that i can document the wild edible things, my garden's progress, etc. I need to fix my irrigation system, and get back to work on some alternative energy projects. A deck up on top of the lean-too, or a screened-in treehouse up in the canopy would be great for browsing the web in a shady breeze, away from the massive, West Nile virus toting mosquitos that we have around here.

I will get back to writing my short text on off-grid living soon. Right now it's time to go water plants, then hit the road for work. But first, i have some ripe blueberries and blackberries that need eating, even some raspberries as well. I can't sit around contemplating my belly button all day.

 

[Avalon1984]

Hey Sunsaver,

I just wanted to say that I saw your comment on hiccups. I will try your method, I get them all the time and they usually last forever. The only thing that has helped me in the past is a schluck of Jaegermeister.

 

[sunsaver]

I used to get the hiccups all the time, until i realized (after about the first twenty people) that i can cure hiccups. Since then i never get the hiccups (about 15 years since ilearned that hhiccups are psychosomatic to the breathing motor function of the brain. Any one who knows how to meditate in even the simplest forms can cure themself by simply relaxing and breathing normally. i have cured several hundred cases of hiccups over the years, usually in bars or at parties where alcohol was consumed. If you know any hypnotism trick or are good at public speaking, then you would find it easy to cure all but the most stubborn drunk persons. I have never failed to cure, every single person whom i have attempted to. This is not to say that their hiccups might have returned later or the next time they drink, but mine never did return.

P.S. I know this sound like an episode of the "mentalist", but hiccups really are just that simple to cure, an easy mindtrick for the novice Jedi, psychologist, or family therapist. I hope you learn how to stop, focus, breath and go about your way with not so much as a second hiccup the next time you get a jolt from your own solar plexus. If your kid gets them, just give out a dose of sublingual B-12, and say,"this drug is a fast-acting breathing regulator. It will calm you down, and regulate your breathing almost instantly." Then just stare at them confidently as they put it under their tongue.