to lighten the mood. lol

[the funny farm6]

A new supermarket opened in my area. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.


When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

 

[FarmerChick]

 

[the funny farm6]

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach".

Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.


The pastor shouted out, "Cross."

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross".

The pastor hollered out "Grace". The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."

The pastor said "Power". The congregation sang "There is Power in the Blood.

The Pastor said "Sex." The congregation fell into total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden from way in the back of the church a little 87 year old grandmother stood up! and began to sing..... "Precious Memories."

 

[the funny farm6]

In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby.

"Now don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there's yet another!" cried the doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. "Do ya think it's the light that's attractin' them?"

 

[the funny farm6]

TRUCK FOR SALE !!
A fifteen year old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that truck???!!!"

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."


"With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars. "So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name, they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a coffee break, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did."

 

[Denim Deb]

 

[Corn Woman]

Thanks I needed that.