What if DH/DW Couldn't?

[FarmerJamie]

Wow, almost a year since anyone updated this thread. Today is hard. Stuff I wanted to get done before the fair trip didn't get done. Stuff trying to get done weekly is way behind. "We can do it over the weekend". Wife is still crashed in bed this afternoon, just spent a futile hour in the kitchen, laundry is staring at me, leftover onions need dehydrating, the frustration is boiling inside me. Feels like work, take one day off, take two days to catch up.

@tortoise how do you do it all?

Thanks for the venue to rant.

 

[Mini Horses]

I don't know how she does it all with health issues...I have enough trouble with none. No DH to help but none to look after either.

 

[tortoise]

@tortoise how do you do it all?

Thanks for the venue to rant.

Drugs. Low standards Minimalism a.k.a. throw everything away whenever I get an opportunity. Delegate to children use life hacks intended for adults with ADHD - they're like cheat codes to make life easier

I'm working through the aftermath of a recent "sick day" today.

 

[baymule]

Wow, almost a year since anyone updated this thread. Today is hard. Stuff I wanted to get done before the fair trip didn't get done. Stuff trying to get done weekly is way behind. "We can do it over the weekend". Wife is still crashed in bed this afternoon, just spent a futile hour in the kitchen, laundry is staring at me, leftover onions need dehydrating, the frustration is boiling inside me. Feels like work, take one day off, take two days to catch up.

@tortoise how do you do it all?

Thanks for the venue to rant.

Ok, so you do it all…… what if it were reversed? How do you think you would handle that? Be glad you are on your feet. Time to accept the fact that if you don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. Take a deep breath. Then accept the fact that you are not Superman and sometimes there will be things left undone. Take another deep breath.

Now take 5 minutes to thank God for every thing you can think of. Just 5 minutes giving thanks for positive and happy things in your life. It will make you feel better.

 

[tortoise]

Use machines and tech as much as possible. Start with prep-and-forget tasks first: laundry machines, toss something in a slow cooker, start the dishwasher. Keep timers going (I use alexa devices so I can run multiple alarms and name them so I know what they're for).

To cope with overwhelm, as I see something I need to do, I add it to my to-do list (again, using alexa).

Then I use pattern planning to narrow down what I will do on a day. My bathroom mirror is dirty, but I'm not going to touch it until Monday. Mirrors on Mondays. Tub and toilet on Tuesday. Washing (towels, bedding, dogs) on Wednesdays. Food/fridge/freezer tasks on Fridays. Etc.

 

[tortoise]

My MIL lost her mobility rather quickly. FIL has never cooked or cleaned and he's learning. He still has her to watch and give directions. (What if he didn't?!) Never too late to learn. Caregivers is a huge burden - even harder if one has never done household management before.

 

[flowerbug]

with Mom being unable to do some things now i either do them or they don't get done.

today was mowing day. Mom did mow some but she can't do the front ditch or the south side so i take over and finish that up.

if i'm mowing that means i'm not weeding so right now i have one large garden outside the fence that needs weeding and also a smaller one. then i need to weed through all the gardens inside the fence. depending upon how much rain we get i don't expect to be completely finshed weeding until after harvest (as usual) because once tomatoes start coming in those are a priority and also any beans we want for fresh eating i'll have to pick as Mom can't do that any more. plus i have dill seeds and onion tops to harvest and peppers will need some picking and watering if we don't get enough rains.

pretty much i prioritize weeding based upon what may be soon to drop seeds and go for those weeds first.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Was thinking of this thread today. Third day in a row the wife has been down for the count.
Trying to mentally accept the challenges.
It will be okay

 

[baymule]

Was thinking of this thread today. Third day in a row the wife has been down for the count.
Trying to mentally accept the challenges.
It will be okay

You can do it. Believe me, you can do it and come the end of the day, be happy with yourself for what you have achieved. Fix something for you and your wife to eat or go get take out. While out, buy a flower bouquet. Put in a vase or jar, anything. Attach a note telling her how much you love her and if she’s down, take supper to her and y’all enjoy it together. Give her the flowers and note. It will mean the world to her and you too. Life’s precious moments sometimes need a little help to make them happen.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Today was not that day