Beekissed
Mountain Sage
I had friends like that...had. We were friends in high school but our paths diverged shortly thereafter. I got married, had kids, got divorced, had to return to the work force.
Now, when I had little ones and a job, they were all gung-ho to get together for little lunches, late night gab-fests at theirs, or my, home, 2 hr. phone calls for emotional support for the break-up with this or that boyfriend. All of these things I did, taking precious time away from my kids to do so, because I felt it was important to maintain some semblance of a life that didn't involve diapers and work-related stress.
Flash forward 10 years to the time when they finally decide to settle down and get a family started. All the sudden, lunches had to have screaming, whining children at them, which, of course, cut short the time spent talking and catching up. Phone calls were rarely, if ever, returned and always with the statement, "You never call me anymore!" from people who haven't been the first to place a call in the past 10 years. The phone calls then degenerated into "I just don't have time anymore with the kids and everything" type conversations. Our, now only yearly, luncheon just couldn't be coordinated anymore with their busy schedules....both stay at home moms.
I managed to maintain and do most of the work on these relationships with 3 young children and usually 2 jobs, or school and a job, and they can't manage one lunch a year with no job and 1 child each with a husband for financial and child-care support? That's a bit much! It all comes down to priorities, I guess.
Flash forward another 10 years: I got a call the other day from one of these "friends" saying she just doesn't have any friends anymore and that we should really try to "stay in touch" because its just so hard to find friends these days, etc. Laughable, really.
Now, when I had little ones and a job, they were all gung-ho to get together for little lunches, late night gab-fests at theirs, or my, home, 2 hr. phone calls for emotional support for the break-up with this or that boyfriend. All of these things I did, taking precious time away from my kids to do so, because I felt it was important to maintain some semblance of a life that didn't involve diapers and work-related stress.
Flash forward 10 years to the time when they finally decide to settle down and get a family started. All the sudden, lunches had to have screaming, whining children at them, which, of course, cut short the time spent talking and catching up. Phone calls were rarely, if ever, returned and always with the statement, "You never call me anymore!" from people who haven't been the first to place a call in the past 10 years. The phone calls then degenerated into "I just don't have time anymore with the kids and everything" type conversations. Our, now only yearly, luncheon just couldn't be coordinated anymore with their busy schedules....both stay at home moms.
I managed to maintain and do most of the work on these relationships with 3 young children and usually 2 jobs, or school and a job, and they can't manage one lunch a year with no job and 1 child each with a husband for financial and child-care support? That's a bit much! It all comes down to priorities, I guess.
Flash forward another 10 years: I got a call the other day from one of these "friends" saying she just doesn't have any friends anymore and that we should really try to "stay in touch" because its just so hard to find friends these days, etc. Laughable, really.
