Why we will not use the public school system

[JRmom]

Ok. I have to interject something here. If you have children that speak the same language you do, and feed themselves, and dress themselves... YOU HAVE BEEN EDUCATING YOUR CHILD.
If you take an interest in your child's conversation; if you answer his questions and offer him other sources when he asks a question you aren't sure of.... YOU HAVE BEEN EDUCATING YOUR CHILD.
If you let your child help you in the kitchen, at the store, in the yard and on the road... YOU HAVE BEEN EDUCATING YOUR CHILD.
If you tell your child stories about when you were growing up, and tell them about Great Uncle Harry who fought in the Spanish American War... YOU HAVE BEEN EDUCATING YOUR CHILD.

It's not that hard to supplement your child's education. Really.

Thanks Britesea. That is my idea of "supplementing", which is basically just good parenting. My parents did send me to school for the academics, I sent my daughter for the same reason. Both of us turned out just fine, with a good education, plenty of common sense, and the ability to choose a path in life that was right for us.

I don't think it's right to paint the entire public school system with the same brush. My daughter had many wonderful caring teachers. And I think sending your kid off to public school with the attitude that it's only for the social aspect contributes to the problem. It would be wonderful (in a land of unicorns and faeries) if everyone was able to home school. But that's just not an option for MOST of the population.

 

[hwillm1977]

I don't think it's right to paint the entire public school system with the same brush. My daughter had many wonderful caring teachers. And I think sending your kid off to public school with the attitude that it's only for the social aspect contributes to the problem.

I don't think that the only things I learned academically came from my mother... she just wanted to make sure that we learned everything she wanted us to, and didn't count 100% on the school system for doing that. I graduated from high school in the top 2% of my class of 900, I did play in the band, extra math classes, exchange programs, in high school I taught my computer class because I knew more than the teacher so instead of having to do the work I walked around the class and answered questions, I have two post-secondary degrees... I have spent a long time in the shcool system, and I did enjoy it. I had some teachers who were just there to fill a seat (or so it seemed) and others who truly loved their jobs and made learning a fantastic experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My mother NEVER told us that we were going to school for the social education until long after we were done school, so I guess to us at the time we were going for the academics.

Like Britesea said, everything you do with your children is teaching them so unless you are completely ignoring your kids then you are supplementing their education.

 

[lorihadams]

Okay....I am a former teacher (licensed with a BA) that now homeschools my children in the state of VA.

I think that there are lots of public schools that do an excellent job of teaching children and involve parents in decision making. I also think that there are a lot of public schools that don't. If you are fortunate enough to live in an area where you have caring teachers and a supportive staff and parents that are involved without being pushy and overbearing then go for it. Send your kids to public schools.

I moved out of a county that had horrible staffing issues, lousy disciplinary measures, lots of "health" issues *read pregnancy issues*, drug issues, and virtually no parental involvement. I tutored a child from that system and his deficiencies were glaringly obvious if you spent 5 minutes talking to the child and actually listening to him. Problem was that they were severely understaffed at the time and couldn't take the time to talk to every child that had problems. Lots of the parents in that county were lower or lower middle class and worked so much that they didn't have the time or energy to be involved with the education of their children.

The county I moved to is much better but I made the decision to homeschool my children because (a) financially we are able for me to stay home to do it (b) I don't agree with some of the curriculum content and (c) my child would probably be labeled as ADD because he is a normal 6 yr old boy that needs to run around every 30 minutes or so. If anything changes then we would send our children to this school system but for now we will homeschool. I teach with the SOLs (Standards of Learning) in mind but do not adhere to them strictly. This will be the first year that my son will need to be tested so I am anxious to see how he will do.

I have issues with certain schools because they have so many requirements to meet that learning is not fun anymore. Children learn at a very young age that school, and therefore learning, is not fun. It becomes more of a social setting than a good learning environment. Children are so wrapped up in the social side of things that they let the education fall to the wayside. I want my children to enjoy learning about different things and have the ability to have some imput as to what they learn about. Homeschooling lets you be flexible in the way you teach so if your child is a kinestetic learner then you can adapt the subject matter to include more tactile learning experiences. If you have a child that needs to move around then that is easier to deal with. If your child is particularly interested in one subject then you can focus on what they are interested in and incorporate other subject matter into that topic....like combining science and history or science and math or history and reading/writing. That doesn't necessarily get done in public school. You also get a better opportunity to include the arts in their education if that is something you are interested in because with funding issues in public schools the art/music classes are the first to go.

That being said, not all schools are bad. Not all are good but we don't need to condemn people for using public schools if that is their informed choice or only option. If you have something you definitely want your children to learn then teach it to them....talk about it at the dinner table, do summer projects, let them take an extra activity during the summer to suppliment their education. If you disagree with something your child is learning about then talk to their teacher about it and discuss what your options are. It's like teaching evolution....if you don't agree with it then teach your child what your beliefs are and let them know that there is another way of thinking and that is okay. We as parents have the obligation to monitor what our children are learning and if we have problems with it then teach them the alternatives at home on your own time.

Like Christopher Columbus....don't even get me started...or how American indians/native peoples got shafted....or how the history curriculum makes no sense when it is taught in the order it is currently taught. Like the fact that Thomas Jefferson is no longer included in the history curriculum....I'm sorry but how do you completely OMIT a president from the curriculum??? Or how they change the math methods every 2 years....new math??? are you kidding me....or how they omit physical education programs and recess from the school day when that is something the kids obviously need.

But I digress....

The point is that every family is different and every circumstance is different and we as parents have to do what we see is best for ourselves and our children and it is none of our business really, what any other family chooses to do.

There. I'm done now.

 

[abifae]

I don't believe I said anything about pushing parenting down the to do list. I was pointing out that just because your kid does not go to a magnet or private school, or you choose not to home school, this does not make your parenting "suck". My kid went to public school, for precisely the reasons I listed, so I guess according to your lofty standards my parenting "sucked"? I don't think so. Wow, what a totally rude thing to say to someone you don't know anything about.

I wasn't referring to you specifically, nor to what school you send your kids.

I mean, most parents do not parent.

They do not take the time to spend time with their kids. They don't care what the kid is or isn't learning. They don't supplement education. And then they get mad that the education system failed them.

I see it constantly. It drives me nuts.

Then parent your damned kids and they'll do better!

MOST folk here do parent. It seems part of the wacky SS mindset

 

[Lady Henevere]

I see the opposite problem more often than not -- "helicopter parents" that spend their time hovering around their kids never allowing them to make a decision for themselves. Then they wonder why their teens and college students have no common sense. (I do my best to stay silent rather than suggest that had they taught their kids to make decisions instead of deciding everything for them, it might not be a problem.)

Curriculum in schools will never fully match up with parents' ideals. IME, it's not really a problem, as long as the family discusses things.

 

[abifae]

I see the opposite problem more often than not -- "helicopter parents" that spend their time hovering around their kids never allowing them to make a decision for themselves.

Yeh, that's equally destructive. And most of them want to be "friends" with their kids. Um. Kids need parents.

*grumbles*

Well, I always knew I'd be a horrid parent. Huge part of the reason I got fixed. I know I'm way to selfish to have kids. I wouldn't want to have to put them first.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I was accused of being a helicopter mom by our local school system - after they had kept my daughter at school with a fever of 104 and a head to toe rash that she had scratched so badly she was bleeding. She passed out literally about 5 minutes after getting into the house and hit her head on our rocking chair on the way down.

Yep. They got a full piece of me. My Daughter spent several days IN the hospital, and the school called CPS on us!

I was so livid, I told them if my kid so much as had a SCRATCH they were to notify me immediately so that I could make a decision as to if a Doc was needed or not.

The day we got home from the hospital, CPS shows up - and I lit into him, too! Told him if he wanted to investigate anyone he should go check out the school and ask them why did they keep my daughter in school all day long with a temp of 104 and a head to toe rash that was bleeding from being scratched so much.

He didn't say a word...hung his head, got back in his car (yes, I made him stand outside while I screamed at him and it was raining, too. I did feel a little bad later) and 3 weeks later got a letter in the mail saying "the case was closed due to insufficient evidence to the reported claims".

eta: they never did discover what made my DD sick, but suspected it was severe allergic reaction to mold - which was all over the school from flooding! One teacher told us she still had mud and water in her cabinets at the end of the year from the flooding!

 

[abifae]

Yeh. That's not helicopter parenting

Now, my mom still paying my 30 year old sister's bills when she wastes her money on other stuff... I think that would count.

The two biggest things I remember about public school were the teachers who said I knew the material so just needed to show for tests (our school was really THAT overcrowded) and the tests NO ONE passed and so the teacher went over the test questions and handed the tests back out to redo and then regraded them.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Most of us are of like minds - more like "helicopter gunship" parenting....

I got into it with the "guidance counselor" last year because I was asking specifics about his slipping grades - her response, was, he is such a nice kid, you don't have anything to worry about. An "A" student getting "C"s... Really, nothing to worry about? Don't get me started with the other battle we raged over the eldest's IEP.....

 

[colowyo0809]

I grew up in Eastern Montana. Montana, oddly enough, ranks as one of the top k-12 school systems in the country. Probably has something to do with the lack of people Until I was three my mother was single. I was raised by my mother, my great aunt and my grandmother (both of whom watched me when my mother worked). The three of them spent time with me teaching me reading, writing, numbers, how to make chocolate pudding, how to sew a quilt, etc. They took the time to answer questions, and to care. My mother made sure that I had a good start by time I started kindergarten. In fact, I was always a little ahead of the rest of my class because of my good start. (you wouldn't have known it looking at my grades, or where I graduated in my class lineup ) I've always felt that :
1. Kids need parents, not friends
2. Kids need caring parents who allow them to make mistakes, and help them learn from them.
3. Kids are smarter than people give them credit for. They ask questions to learn, not to be annoying (that comes later)
4. Kids learn from their environment, and from their caregivers. Even if you don't think you are actively teaching them, you are. They learn everything.
5. Kids need fun and they need learning. More importantly, there is too much emphasis on cramming knowledge in their heads and not enough time on play. Alot of kids are not ADD, ADHD, or any other hyper acronyms. They simply need to be kids, and let off their energy. But teachers by and large do not get paid to allow them this.

If we ever have children, we will probably do the same thing alot of you have. Mix in public school and home schooling. Reinforce what they are learning in school with fun activities at home, such as having them help with recipes and building simple things using easy measurements and such. Just my 2 cents, and as a nonparent I realize my opinion doesn't really hold alot of weight.