Aidenbaby, Dh and I had a time when we fought all the time. I almost left, twice. We only had our first 2 children at the time. I think I shared this with someone else on here, but I'll share it with you, too.
DH and I both enjoy puzzles. It takes us usually 3-4 days to put a 1000 piece puzzle together, sometimes less if we stay up late (lol).
After one of our spats, I pulled out this puzzle I had purchased. I sat at the table (DH and I weren't speaking to eachother at this point) after having put the kids to bed and started sorting out the edge pieces of this puzzle. The first two evenings, I worked on the puzzle by myself, still DH and I weren't speaking. On the 3rd evening DH sat down at the table with me and started to work some of the pieces. On the 4th evening I put the kids to bed an hour earlier than usual, so DH and I could work on the puzzle. It was this evening we finally started talking to eachother. Small talk at first, but it then turned into issues we needed to resolve.
This has turned into a monthly tradition. Each month we look for either a used puzzle or cheap new puzzle. We don't always get to sit each evening and do a puzzle, either, but we limit ourselves financially to one puzzle a month.
Now, maybe you and your DH don't like puzzles, maybe you like movies and popcorn??? Maybe you like something else...but find something the two of you both enjoy, choose at least 1 night a week to either put the kids to bed early, or once a month have them stay at a friends, and have an evening each week when you and your husband focus on nothing but eachother.
I would also suggest discussing some counseling to your husband. The puzzle thing worked for DH and I, and we joke that it was "the best counseling we ever had", but that doesn't mean it works out that way for everyone. You just need to find that "one thing" that will open the communication between you and your husband. That's what DH and I had to do, and we were able to do it without outside help, but not everyone can.
I hope things get better for you and your husband!
ETA: My SIL's grandmother once told my brother and I that each person in a relationship should give 75%, so that you have 150% put into the marraige. Personally, I disagree. I think each person should be giving 100% to their marraige, that way 200% is put into making it work.
Something else, and I know there will be people who don't agree with this but, I never put my children before my husband. My husband is the reason I have my children, and he has the place of honor as the head of our home. I may make my children's plates when it is dinner time first, but they aren't allowed to begin eating until Daddy has his plate. The reason is this: I was married to my husband before the kids came, we're raising our children together, and once the kids are grown and gone, my husband (I hope) will still be here after the kids move on.
That may work with a good man like you have, but it was disastrous in my family. I don't know much about marriage, as mine lasted less than a year....but I know about kids. My mother always put my dad before us kids and it was hellish. There were so many bad things that happened to us because she didn't want Dad to get upset or do something irrational if he found out about them. Now she only has 2 kids out of 9 that will love and support her. And none that want anything to do with him. 
