Are posters here HAPPIER having few men in SS Forums?

[Denim Deb]

My hubby used to say the same about a TV show he watched. There were a ton of projects that he would have like to have been able to do, but there was just no way he could. The guy had a super shop-every tool you could imagine. So, much of what they showed was beyond the means and/or ability of the average Joe Handyman.

 

[FarmerJamie]

I edited out the self-adulating comment from my original post before you posted, it was not directed at you Joel.

I would rather see a good discussion about what solutions might work given an individual's situation, not just be told "this has always worked for me". That's how we learn and grow, rather than just parrot what someone else has said.

Yes, live within "your" means, but someone else's means might not be as good as yours. So if I say I "need" three different shovels in my shed and someone says, "I've always gotten by with my trusty xxxxx shovel". What does anyone learn from that? Am I wrong? The other person right?

Discussion is good, it needs to go both ways to be effective.

 

[Beekissed]

True...but that's like saying we can both get to the Lowe's for a load of lumber, only you drive a big ol' full-sized, diesel dually pickup with a 12 ft. utility trailer on hitch and I drive a Pinto. Clearly one of us spent 60K and will be making one trip for that load of lumber...and the other will not/cannot.

What you can accomplish on a realistic and minimalist's budget and what you can accomplish when you don't mind dropping 10K on a shop full of tools can be vastly different. When you are coming from the aspect of someone who will only buy what is necessary for durability, function and versatility but what could still be utilized if you had no power source, or limited power source, as in some off grid energy systems~then the issue of how much money to spend on exactly what kind of tools becomes a little more divergent.

To flash back to my earlier metaphor, I wouldn't take chicken feeding advice from someone who orders her organic, high dollar feeds online and has them shipped to her home....we clearly do not work on the same budget nor do we have the same goals in our flock management. Although it's very nice that she can afford to do that and it may work just great for her chickens and her financial/lifestyle goals and others like her may benefit from her feed advice...but it won't be me.

Three shovels for three different types of jobs vs. one shovel that can perform the same three functions? No contest from a frugal, less-dependent- upon-consumerism standpoint.

I get the fact that a few here have more money than do the majority and they can do SS with a little more flair...but the reality is that many people here are motivated by lack of funds and a failing economy to try and limit most purchases to the absolute necessary things for the lowest/best price. I see why Joel would like to discuss Tool Time with someone with similar goals, as doing so will have more relevance to his life and he hopes to be able to do that here, where the majority have similar life goals but are also mostly women.

 

[Joel_BC]

Three shovels for three different types of jobs vs. one shovel that can perform the same three functions? No contest from a frugal, less-dependent- upon-consumerism standpoint.

I get the fact that a few here have more money than do the majority and they can do SS with a little more flair...but the reality is that many people here are motivated by lack of funds and a failing economy to try and limit most purchases to the absolute necessary things for the lowest/best price. I see why Joel would like to discuss Tool Time with someone with similar goals, as doing so will have more relevance to his life and he hopes to be able to do that here, where the majority have similar life goals but are also mostly women.

Well, Beekissed, you have a good brain and also a facility with words. And I like feeling understood.

I should say that I don't think the only subjects men might like to discuss, in relation to frugal self-reliance, would be tools & equipment. I do believe, though, that tools and equipment, and some sorts of building and maintenance, are subjects a lot of men relate to in SS sorts of lifestyles.

 

[Joel_BC]

We've had some guy participation in the last weeks, but it's still by far the minority of threads and posts. I changed the name of the thread, because now I'd like to understand how people feel about seeking more guy participation.

Am I actually the only one who would really like to see more men posting here... starting threads, or contributing to ones already going? My observation is that, in households where there are both males and females living, most of the time there are things that both genders contribute to the functioning of the home and its environs... not only the functioning, but the quality of life.

Are the women here actually happier with the minor participation by men? (One woman did say - in this thread or elsewhere, not sure - that she's glad her husband doesn't post in the SS Forums.)

So, women and men, what do you honestly feel (if anything) about the situation?

 

[Beekissed]

Men seem to be more opinionated than are women but with less give. When discussing things with other men they seem more respectful of the other opinion, but when discussing the same subject with women they seem more offended if women prove a point, have a say, etc. I guess it's just age old conditioning that men are stronger, women weaker, outside stuff is man stuff and inside stuff is woman stuff, etc.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule and we have a few on here but I've noticed it myself here with some male members who have since moved along or rarely post much...they don't seem to fully appreciate independent women.

Maybe they are not married to such a woman and it isn't what they are comfortable with, I'm not sure. I don't think we have many husbands AND wives participating on this forum and it could be for that very reason.... maybe their wives aren't the independent, get down in the dirt type of women you often find here.

I've spent my life being told that I "intimidate" men, without it ever being my intention to do so. When I ask how exactly I do this intimidation they really can't put their finger on it but it has something to do with not needing a man as much as most women. Well, I can honestly say that is not my fault...if I had met a man strong enough to stick around and be a man, maybe I wouldn't have had to learn about all this man stuff and I could still make men "comfortable" in my presence. Who knows? Who cares?

What is all comes down to, in my humble opinion, are men happier NOT participating where the women who participate are stronger/more independent than the average housewife? Are they intimidated by that factor and just avoid the forum? I know we haven't mistreated any men here and we don't seem to be driving them away so that we can be happier.

 

[moolie]

I honestly don't care whether someone is male or female on this (or any other) forum, everyone brings something to the table when they join in and participate in discussions

I don't think it makes a difference. As male or female we each have our own experiences to share and questions to ask. Limiting a discussion to "so men, what do you think about..." or "gals, what about..." leaves out people who may have something to say on a particular topic but feel excluded. Because, whether it's a topic that may "traditionally" fall into a male or female domain, that may not be the case for everyone. For example: canning--we have lots of guys here to are into or take part in canning, same with gardening. Or tools/woodworking/metalworking--we have gals here who are interested/very active in the subject/s.

I'm not "happier" either way, with fewer or more men taking part--I'm just here

I regularly discuss things I've read here with my hubs, he's just not interested in taking part. He works with computers all day and doesn't need to spend his evenings online too. He will read the odd thread here and there when he's particularly interested in something I've spoken about, but isn't a member and doesn't post. There may be all kinds of guys out there like my hubs who are interested in what's here but who (for whatever reason) don't join in. As well as women who do the same. We may be poorer in content because of those choices, or not--who knows.

 

[moxies_chickennuggets]

I'm not "happier" either way, with fewer or more men taking part--I'm just here

Ditto to what moolie said

 

[DianeS]

I'm not "happier" either way, with fewer or more men taking part--I'm just here

Ditto to what moolie said

Same here.

 

[Denim Deb]

It doesn't bother me if men are posting on here, I just don't want my hubby on here. This is MY place. We all need places and friends w/out our OH involved, doesn't mean that we don't value them, nor that we don't want them around, just that we need our space.

That being said, I do at times read stuff to him from on here, or show him stuff from here.