Are we living our dreams?

[rhoda_bruce]

Kinda anxious. About to have to kiss DD12 goodbye for a few days and then meet up with her in Orlando a little later on. I bought a manual clothes washer to do our small clothes and then went out and found a few pieces of light clothing so I can wash my own clothes in the hotel.
Well, I fixed cornbread a few days ago because I was totally out of bread. It did take a few hours, but I was busy doing chores anyways and couldn't stop the sun from shining so might as well make the best of it.
So SIL has been coming over about once a week, but not really getting ahead with me, but trying and it came to my attention that her gas bill was $47 and mine was only $12, so I asked and only thing different is she has a gas water heater. But I really think its her our cooking choices and our methods of clothes drying thats mainly putting me over the top.
So last night we were sitting, talking about our bills and usage and such and she mentions how her DD17 uses all the hot water and yet this child asked me to show her how to make laundry detergent.....so I tell SIL how I take a shower, which maybe uses 2 gallons of water, and how I dry myself with same towel I had just washed with to remove most of the water, so that my drying towel can finish the job, without too much wetness ever touching and thus be used longer.
She comes here to help me and to fulfill an obligation she has to me, but every time she comes here, she learns something wild, like how to make calcium capsules, soap, laundry detergent and how to cut fuel bills.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

That's so cool that she's learning so much!

 

[rhoda_bruce]

I don't know where to start. I tried keeping up with SS but when I left for FL, somehow I couldn't log in.....I figured the site knew I wasn't home or the computer knew I wasn't home and wanted to make sure it was really me, and I didn't have a password I could possibly remember and with all the home improvements that had been going on, I couldn't fine the folder all my passwords were in, so its been months.
Well, almost my whole yard is fenced in, except maybe 50 feet, which DS and I can tackle on our own. We also have an electric motorized gate at the end of the driveway.
I have 6 chicken tractors in my garden area right now, getting everything in shape. I fenced in the asparagus bed and I have put the goat in there 3 days and plan on putting the silkies to finish off the winter. I read somewhere that was acceptable to do that. I also need to add more humus and chips as soon as its under control.
I have pretty much given up on the tractor tire beds and figured I'd use them as stands to make rabbit cages. I have no idea what to call the grating (I guess thats what I will call it....grating) I plan on using for the bottoms of the cages, and I can't remember where they came from, but we've had them for years and I think they will make good foundations. I have 2 does and I can get a buck with a local woman, but it has come to my attention that my niece has only a buck, so I asked her if she would mind keeping him at my house. Maybe I shouldn't have because it looked like she was about to cry.
The kids are doing good and helping me with chores, but the 8 year old is one wild kid. DH is openly unfaithful and it is rather embarrassing. He used to want the kids every weekend, but on his on week, I'd offer that he could drop them off to me on his way to work, instead of bother our oldest and eventually he started only wanting to pick them up on his week off and now, instead of picking them up on Friday afternoons, he is waiting until Saturday morning or at noon. This last Sunday, I saw a missed call on my cell, so I text him,"Mass" and he text me that the youngest wanted to talk to me, so I say, I will go over or call after church and she was crying to come home. I tell her that her poppa doesn't get to see her often and it might hurt her feelings, etc.....but she wanted to come home with me, after only one night and the 12 year old didn't want to stay either, so they both came home with me. I feel bad for him in that respect. I would cry if my kids were never with me. Next month on the 18th, I plan on going to church at 2:00 for my anniversary.....kinda a date with myself and staying, until I have cried out every last piece of my broken heart. I figured, after that, I will be better.....not totally fixed, but on some kind of better place.
I have a few local businesses that are helping me sell satsumas. I'm not so sure I will be able to do as well with the Louisiana Sweets, but maybe I can juice them. I really need to set a trap for a coon that keeps feasting in the orchard.
I have been working pretty hard in the garden area, around what bee hives I have left and in the raised beds, trying to get it all in shape and I must admit, DH has a lot to do with it. I start cleaning and I get angry, so I keep cleaning, thinking of him and wanting it to look better than ever, just so he can see it and have it bother him that I got it right. Anger can be useful at times.
My to-do list with that area is to clean 2 dead hives and move all the live colonies to a clean location in the garden....hopefully that will not require much cleaning and planting my old T frames (clothes line frames) and setting it up for grapes, maybe with a post in the center, to support wire for the vines and so I don't have to worry about drooping. I was thinking maybe I can go with 3 different color varieties, if I use the middle support as well as the 2 sides to train up the grapes onto.

 

[Britesea]

I am so sorry to hear about your marital troubles. I will be praying for you to find strength, and especially PEACE. Life is too short for this.

It sounds like you got a lot of things going on with your SS though! I think grapes would be wonderful! Fresh grapes... raisins... grape jelly... wine...

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I understand about anger being a motivator because I did the same thing during/after my divorce many years ago. Just don't get stuck in the anger phase...use it for motivation and then let it go!

Like Britesea I'll be sending prayers for peace.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

So glad I am back here because Facebook can get me crazy. I mainly goof off online when I drink my coffee in the morning. Well, at least this place helps me organize my thought processes for farming. I am determined to never accept another man friend, unless I already know him, personally......I won't get into it, but ya know what I mean. I don't have time for foolishness. But anyways.....here I am and I begun to update on some of what all I have been doing since the summer and now to get ideas and inspiration from other's posts.
Money is depleting, but trying to live on pennies and just what all I'm getting from the orchard. Afraid I might have to go back to work, but when I do, the house will look nicer and the yard (or farm) will be more productive and safer.....plus I won't need to be full-time, which my feet can't handle anyways.
Well, I have to clean up today because tomorrow we are having a Conceal and Carry class here and I expect about 10 people to show up. Shouldn't take me long. Worse problem is the bathroom cabinet....people just throw anything on top of it, in any kind of way, but that doesn't take me too long to tackle, once I'm standing in front of it.
Well, coffee was nice, but time to get dressed and tend to animals. Thats really the dangerous part though. When I handle the animals, there is no telling what I might find and how I might handle it and sometimes it keeps me out there forever. Looks nice afterwards, but time consuming. Much easier to get DD12 to run out.....she doesn't see what I see.

 

[Denim Deb]

I totally get you on the guy thing. For me, it's hubby's drinking. And, if anything happens to him, it would be a long time, if ever, if I ever got involved w/another guy.

 

[Mini Horses]

Ladies -- life goes on without them. This being said from one who lost her true soul mate years ago and was spoiled nicely. I couldn't find another like him. Had divorced my first -- we get along better now than then.

I've always been quite independent and I like doing what I want without having to ask others. My tractor provides more useful muscle, no hassle, questions or dirty laundry. Repairs for vehicles, house, etc., I just hire -- do job and leave! Nice.

I do sometimes miss the conversations & opinions of a man. For the most part, that is resolved via those I see at various meetings.....or even forums like this. I like men! But not looking for anything more than platonic.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

I agree. I cry sometimes, but DH was never really a friend of mine, although I am his. He needs me more than I need him. He got fired today. I suppose I will try to help him get declared disabled. He isn't likely to find a job very easy with his heart.
I get a little nervous where he is concerned and I tend to do things out of the ordinary when thinking about him.....and poverty or starvation, so I packed my change and now I'm thinking of starting to slaughter extra birds, but mostly I'm fine.
Working with the 12 year old on fractions.

 

[Mini Horses]

You are too kind, maybe. Send him to social services to get a food card....if he can apply for unemployment, send there too.
It's not being unkind, it's being self-sufficient. He needs to be.
After that, there are food banks, churches, etc. that can and will help before you exhaust your own reserves, which sound to be tight & well utilized already. Frugal is good! Teach him that.

Seems you have hands full with kids and their upkeep. I wish you well & Peace.