At home births and midwives

[DrakeMaiden]

I just remembered something I wanted to add to this thread, so I am resurrecting it.

I believe you (Kala) said you work in the medical field? You may then relate to what I have to say:

When my midwife arrived when I was in active labor, she came in the door, came to see me and immediately asked if I had all of my at-home-birthing-supplies. I told her I did and she asked where they were, so I told her. Meanwhile, I had noticed that when she arrived she was showing cold symptoms (sniffling). Well, she went to my birthing supply kit and immediately dug into it looking for the things she wanted to verify were there without washing her hands first. This had me all of a dither because I had painstakingly cleaned everything (including the tubberware container that I had everything in -- totally OCD nesting behavior). So to me my birthing kit was like a pair of exam gloves that come in a sealed plastic sleeve . . . you don't open it until you have clean hands and you are about to use it!

I was much more comfortable in the hospital where all staff members would wash their hands and/or use the alcohol hand sanitizer before coming into the room.

I take full responsibility for the fact that I am a bit OCD about this topic, but it seems to me that in medical situations the caregiver should always wash their hands before they start touching anything that will be involved in the procedure. And especially if they have a cold!

If you feel the same and you do have a homebirth you might want to advise your midwife beforehand. I was surprised that hand-washing is apparently not typical protocol, since most midwives know the story about how hospital births used to have higher death rates for infants until one doctor realized it had to do with the lack of hand-washing.

 

[MsPony]

DM, perhaps that was just HER unsanitary issue? You're certaintly not making a blanket statement against all midwives?

I once was sick w/ strep and the doctor asked me to stick out his tongue while he stuck out his own. It was covered in thrush, nasty!! But do I consider every doctor to be as unhygenic? No.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

I'm not saying EVERY midwife would do that. I'm saying that you want to tell your midwife about your concerns and your expectations BEFORE you are in labor. Because once you are in labor you are probably not going to say much and it could cause you to unconsciously hold back/slow down labor. I don't know if that was the case for me, but it could have been. I was in no place to tell her to go wash her hands and remove them from my birthing kit at that particular moment.

 

[MsPony]

Ok Wanted to make sure.

You'd think itd be common sense for a midwife to wash their hands LOL. I would have thrown a fit.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Ok Wanted to make sure.

You'd think itd be common sense for a midwife to wash their hands LOL. I would have thrown a fit.

LOL No kidding. That was what I thought. I was mortified! Unfortunately couldn't really concentrate on anything besides dealing with contractions and trying to relax.

 

[Kala]

If there's anything I have learned from this thread it's to be in charge of the situation and make your wishes known from the get go. After all, it's your delivery!

I definetely had a mind frame of what should happen yadda yadda based completely on what standard hospital protocol is...what can I say? I'm a recovering healthcare addict who thought the medical model was perfect and whatever a doctor prescribed was the gospel. Probably what the typical American thinks, drugs are good, doctors are great and never wrong (we're all human). Boy have I learned a thing or two...

After all of your responses and some more research of my own a whole new world has truly opened up to me in what it really means to give birth and what the whole experience should entail. Some do hospitals, some don't. All based on your own individual needs and beliefs. However, I've learned that wherever you are, YOU should be in control and your wishes followed as closely as safely possible.

Ok, now where's the "stepping off soap box" smiley??

 

[sparks]

I work in Labor and Delivery as a Labor Tech. We also use midwives and OB/GYNs. I have seen many amazing births and some not so great. Everyone has to be their own advocate and let everyone know what their expectations are. And then tell them again. We live close to a few Amish and Mennonite communities. They often use midwives (maybe they are) but come to us if their midwives are thinking something is wrong. So many babes and Moms have been saved. Often they go home a few hours after the birth if all is o.k. I am very proud of the job we do. And honored to be able to witness this miracle every time.

 

[Kala]

Yes. That would be fun to experience, at least most of them!

I've always wondered what Amish communities did. And I definetely think you can have good and bad experiences in both settings and with both a midwife or doctor.

 

[FarmerDenise]

I gave birth to my DD 30 years ago at an alternate birth center with a midwife.
For me it was a great compromise. DH was adamant about not doing a homebirth, I wanted the homebirth.
The ABC was in a hospital about 5 minutes away. I made sure I educated myself on all my rights. I wrote out what I wanted done and what I did not want done. I had two friends in attendance besides my DH. I had one fantastic nurse. I still see her blue eyes staring into mine to help me breath through a contraction. Her name was Jennifer.
All in all I had a good birthing experience. I still wish I could have had an in home delivery, preferably an underwater one.

The ABC had nice cheery rooms papered with pink flowered wallpaper, with queen sized hospital beds, so the dad could stay with the mom. All the medical stuff was tucked out of sight. They had livingroom style lights, so the bright hospital light was used only if neccessary. No bright lights on the baby as she came out!! They only turned that one on after DD was born to check me.

On the other hand, if anything had gone wrong, the medical stuff was there.

I went home the same day DD was born. As was my choice.

My DD recently had her baby. Hers was a high risk pregnancy and there was no question that she was delivering in the hospital. The room wasn't as nice as the one I had, but the staff at Kaiser were fantastic. She had all kinds of intervention. But her and her baby's health were at risk. The hospital staff tried to keep the intervention to a minimum and were very helpfull in all aspects of the birth. They did what they could to make it a good and healthy experience.

DD had 3 "moms" in attendance. All three of us had given birth naturally and both other moms had homebirths. We are all a bunch of hippies So between us, we questioned the nurses actions a few times. DD was definitely in good hands.

I think it is good to have someone else (other than the dad) in attendance, who is going to be your advocate and to give the dad (or labor coach) some support and the occasional break.

In DD's case, her dad went out at one point and got sandwhiches for everyone. She had four people at her side, helping her to push the baby out. We took turns doing this, as we ended up cramping up.

DD feels good about her birthing experience. She felt the love and support from her family and the hospital staff.
It was a great bonding experience for all of us who were there.

 

[Sebrightmom]

I had both of my babies at hospitals. I had my son at the hospital in our county. I wasn't happy at all. I had my daughter at a different hospital. The experience was better but I still wasn't completely happy. I had long labors with both of my kids. With my son I was in labor 36 hours. Both times they wanted to make the labor go faster. They gave me pitocin which made the labor more painful. I was unable to walk around, drink, or eat. I just found out that I am expecting again a few weeks ago. I am going to have a homebirth this time. I want things to go the way I want then too. There is a wonderful midwife in the next county. Two of my friends have used her and were very happy. My husband is still not fully onboard. His biggest reason he says is that he doesnt' want the mess in the house. I think he is actually worried. We both grow up on a farm and still live on one. We both have seen bad births with our animals. I know there are problems sometimes. I was a deliever where I am boss. I want to things to go the way I want and not the way the nurses and doctors think they should go. We haven't told our familys about the new baby. I know neither side will support my choose. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories.