Bee~ Journal of then...

[Farmfresh]

Mom is ... doing what she loves the most....cleaning! Yesterday I came home and she had that sparkle back in her face and a dust pan in her hand. The house smelled like pine cleaner and there was a pot of potato soup bubbling on the stove and three pans of bread cooling on the table!!!

Maybe you could set us up a "rent-a-Bat" service! I want MY house to smell of pine cleaner and fresh bread!

I know those cards are JUST THE TICKET. It will really help you get your heart back right and get on with enjoying your life. I sent a similar letter to my aunt years ago, telling her that I still loved her after she did my family a bad turn. Hubby was mad about me sending it. He thought I was trying to stir up her wrath even more, but I did it for the same reason you mentioned. Then I could just walk away feeling happy.

It took years, but that aunt is now speaking to me once again. (She was the one who originally cut the communication lines). She evidently has been mad at me for the last 10 years and suffering from that, while we went on and lived happy. Staying mad only hurts you. You got it pegged just right!

 

[BeccaOH]

BBH, we have said that so often (a reason for everything) that we are threatening to get bumper stickers made up....I guess that would be the alternative to the old bumper stickers that say--$h@t happens.

She definitely IS an angel....and she lives with ME!!!!

I win! I win! I win!

I am sooooo bad..... I know all the other kids would just love to have her in their house but I win by default! She always said she wouldn't live with a married child and be "the MIL". I knew there was a reason I couldn't find a good man.......

Wow, sounds like my life and my mother.

 

[TanksHill]

Bee if you and the Bat would ever like to visit So. Cal. You are more than welcome in my house. I have plenty of Pine Sol on hand. I bet she could whip my kids into shape also. Supper Bat to the Rescue!!!!

I am so happy that you are both healing. Even if it seems slow some progress is better than none.

gina

 

[FarmerDenise]

Sounds like you are both doing what you need to do to get beyond this.
Even if you cannot forgive right away, at least you are making the attempt and have the desire. You will be feelong better for it. For otherwise you will only turn bitter and you will end up with the ulcer.
It takes a little time to be able to truly forgive. But you are a good person for attempting to do so, so soon.

 

[punkin]

I am glad you and your mom have each other. I can only imagine how much harder this journey would have been for either one of you alone. With each other's support, you will thrive.

Enjoy her (and her cleaning, and the bread, and the soup . . .)

 

[lorihadams]

Don't you just love it when they come to your house and clean! I hate to dust....always have, my mother loves it! I say let her.

Its good of you to forgive everyone, although I don't know how you can do it so soon. You are a better woman than I am.

 

[Beekissed]

Lori, I am not the better woman.....you have no idea how much I have to concentrate on living to keep from murderous thoughts towards these people!

We found out this week that they can leave mother without a penny to her name, her truck will have to be sold because they refuse to make the payments and she will only have her income of $410 a month from now on.

This woman who has never worked outside the home(let this be a warning to SAHMs everywhere), raised nine kids, has been a faithful and hard working wife is left without any of Dad's support, nor can she live in her own home, as she has not enough money to pay the utilities and buy groceries.

THIS, my friends, is so hard for me to swallow that I can barely form words. So....no. I'm not to be admired. I am repeating "I forgive you" like a mantra but my heart is hurting for my mother and I am near tears at all times.

This should never happen to good people. A lifetime of work and worry, love and loyalty should never be rewarded by being homeless and penniless at the age of 75~just because of some very evil, heartless people. Your very own children.

I'm not a saint, nor am I always a gentle natured person.....right now I could gladly rend them from their souls with my bare hands and not even pause to think about where to bury the remains.....I have the perfect place.

BUT....I am trying with everything within me to let it go, let it go, let it go. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. I am always praying for this right now. It seems I am praying every moment of the day for relief for my mom, forgiveness for these people, for peace in my home again.

Don't admire me at all, folks. I am capable of horrible anger and even violence towards those who hurt me and mine. Just pray for me that I can turn it loose and start to feel human again?

Side note: Found out just how good the well is here at this house just the other day. My youngest and most lazy son left the garden hose running in the water trough from 3:30 pm of one day until 9 a.m. the next day, full force, and my well didn't even stutter. That is some well!!!

He was soundly punished with chores all day on Sunday and it still hasn't stopped.....he will do chores until I get over the fear that the well pump will not burn out and have to be replaced at great cost to his mother!

Wrong time to cross the bee....she is already angry!

 

[2dream]

Bee, Have you talked to your lawyer about appealing this case?

Your mom should not be left homeless and with no income. Maybe another judge? I don't know but this is all so wrong. And the biggest thing is. Once all the money is "gone" it will be to late.

I realize there is a lot at stake here and not just money. But your mom still has to live. Surely there are legal options that have not been explored.

Good Lord, women getting divorces for men they hate get more than this.

 

[Farmfresh]

.....right now I could gladly rend them from their souls with my bare hands and not even pause to think about where to bury the remains.....I have the perfect place.

We have lived through some horrible things in our family as well. It always comforts me that we will ALL get our great and just "rewards" when we finally face God. He takes care of the vengeance for us, so we can live in goodness and peace to show those other folks how it is done! Rest assured he ALWAYS takes care of us.

 

[FarmerDenise]

That is really awfull, what your siblings are doing. It is amazing how greed corrupts people.
You are entitled to your anger. Maybe you could perform some kind of ritual to help you deal with it, so you can let it go.

In one of my pagan holloween rituals, we wrote things that we wanted to let go of on pieces of paper and put them on the ritual fire and said something to the effect of letting it go and asking for assistance from the gods. Then we had another ceremony welcoming good things into our lives. We lit a candle for all the good things (I used hanukka candles) and put it in a bucket of sand for aeach of the good things. And thanked the gods.

It is amazing how a ceremony like that helps. I am sure you could do someting like that using quotes from the bible and prayers. Maybe on All Saints day.

Wishing you the endurance to get past these wrongs done to your mother and yourself. And patience with yourself. Don't bury your anger inside yourself, for it will eat you. If you work it out, you will be able to let it go, eventually.
You may also find - in time, that what the terrible trio got, will be just deserts. Your dad may be more trouble than they anticipate and the money they have gotten may not be worth the trouble.
That is where God comes in. Remember, he works in mysterious ways.