Daydreaming while waiting impatiently!

[tortoise]

Send good luck vibes - I found a young trio of lavender and blue splash orpingtons at a good price. (I just bought 1 lavender and 2 blue splash orp pullets, but I wasn't able to get a roo.) Someone else is interested, but I hope they will fall through.

 

[Trying2keepitReal]

Sending good luck vibes.....

Hows your mother in-law?

 

[tortoise]

Sending good luck vibes.....

Hows your mother in-law?

She is home, but sounds like not recovering and maybe declining

 

[Trying2keepitReal]

She is home, but sounds like not recovering and maybe declining

Sorry to hear this. I will keep thinking about her and your family.

 

[tortoise]

Busy-busy, in a good way. DN14 is settling in. We do less screen time than he is used to, so that's an adjustment. We have been at a town festival (car show, craft fair, etc), swimming in the lake, s'mores, sparklers, etc. Lots of summer holiday stuff.

I found quail on craigslist. I might spring for them, IDK

 

[tortoise]

Quail were all males, and orps are sold. Bummer.

DN14 is fairly addicted to youtube/gaming on his phone. I'm playing long game because authoritarian interventions do not work with this kiddo. His games/phone have been a constant in his life through some very difficult transitions - moved due to foreclosure, his dad died, moved, moved again, was homeless, COVID, moved to grandparents in another state, moved to uncle in another state, moved back to grandparents, here now, and moving back to mom in another state ... who will be moving again. Uff. Add learning and communication challenges, bullying and ADHD into the mix and it's no surprise he gravitates to his phone/youtube/games. He's a good sport about limitations. He gives me his phone at 9 p.m., for example. But I do not want him using his phone in his bedroom. I'm also changing the wifi password daily so I can monitor the time he starts youtube/gaming. That strategy makes me the "good guy" who provides access to his phone/games/youtube, rather than the "bad guy" who takes it away. He used to play [violent, FPS] games with his dad, so I'm taking him shopping today to get whittling set because that's another activity that reminds him of his dad.

He is on a decent sleep schedule - up at 6 a.m. I'm adding exercise to his day by having him go with DS15 for walking sheep - and I added walking dog(s) just to get DN14 moving more. I aspire to clean up his diet a bit to see if we can get him feeling better.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Sounds like you're doing good things for this kiddo!

 

[flowerbug]

i don't consider it a bad thing if a child learns how to enterain themselves at times, reading was always a good thing for me to get away for a while from the family life and older siblings and it was something they'd often leave me alone which at times is needed to just think and be and how to learn to be happy in your own skin. at least that is how it went for me. good exercise, good food, sleep is much better on a schedule. all will help him. plus the good memories during hard times will be things fondly remembered. if you don't push things too hard that he begins to hate them he might even be willing to take them up again later when he gets more established on his own. gardening and food preservation skills are always useful if you have enough stability.

 

[tortoise]

DN14 was down to 3 [continuous] hours of phone time today. I noticed he is more uncomfortable with the thought of not having his phone than by actually not using his phone. He uses it to cope with emotions. The only time he was really unhappy about not having his phone was when we were away from home and something made him anxious. Problem is that the activities he does on his phone are not reducing his stress/anxiety. Today he used his phone on the couch instead of hiding in his bedroom. I will call that progress! I asked him if he needed a break twice. I supported him by keeping DS7 away. I think that preventing the phone from being taboo is really important to helping him be less dependent on it. He only stopped when parental controls kicked in. I asked what he did with his phone time and he told me a little bit. Then he asked for video game time on the TV.... uhhmmmmm, NOPE. I think he had a hard time coping with the parental controls shutting it down in the middle of an activity.

He tells a lot of fantasy stories (which isn't working out well for him socially), so I ordered some supplies for him to make comic books and stop motion videos. He is lagging in reading and writing, so I want to give him a different way to share his stories. Maybe he'll be the next George Lucas.

 

[tortoise]

DS15 continues his meltdown from yesterday, so I redirected him with the task of setting up a larger chick cage. It gives him something appropriate to control.

DN14 is practicing using a timer to take breaks during screen time. He chose to alternate with reading a book. (I'd like to see some movement breaks in there, but any break is beneficial for him.) He is practicing the skill of stopping something he enjoys on his own - not because an authority figure demanded.

I am working through this to-do list. One foot in front of the other.